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Essay: Get Tips on Tipping Wedding Service Providers forBig Day

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  • Published: 1 April 2019*
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Time of Day: People drink less alcohol during the day than at night. So, if you are having a day wedding, you can shave off about 10% of the alcohol that you have calculated.

Season: People naturally gravitate towards lighter drinks in the warm months and darker drinks in the cold months. In the spring and summer, more people are likely to choose white over red wine and vodka over whiskey. So, adjust calculations according to season.

Location: Consider your location. If you are in wine country, people will drink more wine. If you are in a big city, consider serving craft beer or fancy cocktails.

Who’s serving the alcohol: Self-serve is not the best idea when it comes to conserving or budgeting you alcohol. Most people will be very generous to themselves and pour more than a bartender would. The same goes for a friend or a random person you hire to work the bar. If they don’t have bartending experience, then they will most likely over serve by pouring too much wine or too much mixers. So if you do not hire a professional bartender, make sure you account for all the extra alcohol you will need to have.

Tip: have 1 bartender for every 50 guests. If you plan on serving mixed drinks, plan on having 2 bartenders per 50 guests since mix drinks take longer to make.

Ice: Remember ice! If you are serving mixed drinks or straight alcohol on the rocks, then you will need about 1 pound of ice per guest. If you are only serving beer and wine, you will only need enough ice to keep the drinks cool in the storage containers. Also, will your wedding be outside? If so, bump the 1 pound of ice per person to 2 pounds since ice will be melting faster.

Ice Storage: Make sure you have enough storage for your ice. Whether than be metal bins, coolers, or a freezer. If you wedding is at a venue, make sure you have access to the fridge and freezer and see how much you can fit in them.

Lastly, adjust the numbers according to the preferences of your own group. You know your guests better than any online calculator. If you know your guests are beer drinkers, order more beer and less wine.

Pro tip: Make sure your drinks get into a cooling space at least 2 hours before anyone will be drinking them. This will give drinks time to get to an enjoyable temp.

Alcohol Planning

First Look Pros & Cons

Pro:

• Time. You will have more time for pictures and after the ceremony you will have more time for family and bridal party pictures. You won’t have to rush through pictures and you won’t have to worry about getting all the pictures you want.

• It is a possibly that you might finish your photos early, so you will be able to join the cocktail hour OR you can go have a private moment with your new spouse before you are bombarded by guests at your reception.

• You will have privacy and it will be intimate. If this is an emotional moment, it won’t be on display for all guests to see. The only other people there should be your photographer and/or videographer.

• The first look helps get the gitters out.

• In the end, you will a larger variety of photos with different backgrounds.

Cons:

• Timing. It is recommended to have your first look at least 1 hour and 30 minutes before your ceremony. If you are having a day wedding, then you will need to get up bright and early, so you will be ready for you 10 AM first look.

• The sunlight can be harsh around lunch time. Talk to your photographer about making a plan to ensure you find the right location with the best lighting.

• The bride or groom may feel stress to react a certain way for the camera.

• Lastly, the first look is not traditional.

MYTH: If you do a first look, you won’t have a special moment when walking down the aisle.

This is completely wrong. There are so many couples that do first looks and then when the bride walks down the aisle, someone cries.  

Tips on Tipping

Wedding Hair Stylist and Makeup Artist

This is one area where a gratuity is definitely expected. Tip between 15 – 20 percent just as you would in a hair salon, and consider giving a little extra if there's a crisis, like one of your bridesmaids has a meltdown over her up-do and it requires a redo at the last minute.

Protocol: Expected

The Standard: 15 – 25 percent, depending upon the quality of service

When to Tip: At the end of your service

Wedding Delivery and Set-up Staff

Slip a few dollars to anyone delivering important items to the site (wedding cake, flowers, or sound system). And if a lot of gear needs to be brought in and set up (tents, chairs, or port-a-potties), the workers deserve a tip too.

Protocol: Expected

The Standard: $5 – $20 per person

When to Tip: Upon delivery and/or set up  

Wedding Ceremony Officiant

If your officiant is affiliated with a church or synagogue, you're often expected to make a donation to that institution. If you're a member you'll probably want to give a larger amount than if you're not. However, if you're getting married there and they're charging you to use the space, feel free to give a smaller amount. If you're using a non denominational officiant, no tip is required because they will charge you for their time.

Protocol: Expected (depending on officiant)

The Standard: Donate $500+ to the church or synagogue, or, for a non-denominational officiant, an optional tip of $50 – $100

When to Tip: Most ceremony fees are required prior to the wedding. Otherwise, have the best man pass the cash envelope at the rehearsal dinner if the officiant is in attendance.

Wedding Ceremony Musicians

If you worked with a mini orchestra to come up with the perfect score for your service (and they pulled it off flawlessly), consider showing some monetary thanks for their talent. However, you probably don't have to tip the solo church organist who was required to play.

Protocol: Optional

The Standard: $15 – $20 per musician

When to Tip: At the end of the ceremony

Wedding Photographer/Videographer

You're not expected to give your shutterbugs any dough beyond their normal fees. Yet if the wedding photographer or videographer doesn't own the studio, consider tipping each person (or give a certain amount with a thank-you note to disperse to staff).

Protocol: Optional

The Standard: $50 – $200 per vendor

When to Tip: At the end of the reception.

Wedding Reception Staff

This type of staff includes the on-site coordinator, maître d', and banquet manager. A service charge (typically 2 percent) is almost always built in to the food and drink fee, so check your contract. If the gratuity is not included, tip as follows.

Protocol: Expected

The Standard: 15 – 20 percent of the food and drink fee (based on labor, not the cost), or $200 – $300 for the maître d'.

When to Tip: If it's covered in the contract, the final bill is typically due before the reception. Otherwise, have the father of the bride or best man hand the envelope to the maître d' at the end of the reception since you will need to know the final tab to calculate the percentage.

Wedding Reception Attendants

When it comes to bartenders, wait staff; parking, bathroom, and coat room attendants the rules of tipping are dictated by your contract. If the service fee is included, consider doling out extra only if the service was exceptional. If it's not included, ask ahead of time how many attendants will be working your wedding and calculate on a per person basis.

Protocol: Optional, based on contract

The Standard: $20 – $25 per bartender or waiter; $1 per guest for coat room and parking attendants; $1 per car

When to Tip: Although tips are traditionally passed out at the end of the event, you could alternately distribute them at the beginning of the evening, to encourage all the workers to give you great service.

Wedding Reception Band or DJ

Whether you hire 12-piece swing band or grooving to a DJ, tipping musicians is completely optional. (Depending on the quality of the job and how willing they were to follow your ideal playlist!) And don't forget about any sound technicians they bring with them.

Protocol: Optional, yet preferred

The Standard: $20 – $25 per musician; $50 – $150 for DJs

When to Tip: At the end of the reception, by the best man.

Wedding Transportation

Again, check your contract, as gratuity is usually included. If it isn't, plan to tip provided they show up on time and don't get lost!

Protocol: Expected

The Standard: 15 – 20 percent of the total bill

When to Tip: At the end of the night or after the last ride. If you used a separate company for the guest buses, designate a bus captain to hand the driver a tip, otherwise, this duty falls to the best man.

Wedding Planner and Florist

Wedding planners and florist won't likely expect anything; however, if yours did a great job you can always offer a token of your appreciation. (Note: Non-monetary thank-yous like professional photos of the wedding for the planner and florist portfolio can go a long way too.) Approximately 50 percent of couples do tip their planners — typically those with more opulent weddings.

Protocol: Optional

The Standard: Up to $500, or a nice gift

When to Tip: The bride should hand off the envelope at the end of the reception, or, she should send a thank-you note with photos or a check after the honeymoon.

Things to remember:

• If a tip is not written into your contract or bill, then tipping is always at your discretion.

• Put any tips that need to be handed out on the wedding day in sealed envelopes with the vendors name on the front. Give these envelopes to a responsible, trusted party to distribute to all the correct vendors.

• 5-star reviews are priceless. These help vendors grow their clientele.

Food Trucks as Caterers

Having food trucks at wedding is becoming more and more popular every year. They are cheaper than regular caterers and are trendy. Here are some things to consider when looking at food trucks for your wedding day.

Parking proximity: Where will the food truck be parked? Will it be a quick walk out the side door or will your guests have to walk a few blocks to get their meal? If the food truck cannot park close to the reception space, don’t use a food truck OR ask if they can serve their food buffet style inside.

Timing: How many guests can they serve in 30 minutes? For example, if you have 150 guests and they can only serve 50 guests every half hour, then that is an hour and a half from the first plate served to the last plate served. This is not good. The last person getting served will not be happy. Aim for a 20 to 30 minute serving window from the first to last plate being served.

Menu: Consider limiting the food trucks regular menu to get food out faster. Make sure you leave a few items on the menu that you like. Also, make the menu available the guests. Put the menu on guest place settings, on tables, or scattered around. This will help guests figure out what they want soon rather than later so they won’t hold up the line when ordering their food.

RVSP: Have your guests RSVP for their food choice. This will give the food truck a better idea of what to stock up on and they will be ready to prepare just what guests want. Hopefully morale will keep guests from ordering something else after they RSVP.

How do you want your food served: Truck side or buffet style? Truck side gives a great vibe and feel but people in fancy evening gowns may not want to order curbside.

What will your meal be served on: Are you renting China and flatware from a different company or are you using the disposable options the food truck provides?

If you are going to have a food truck at your wedding, remember that the truck will not bring along table bussers or servers. Do you want to hire someone to clean up after tables all night or will you trust your guests to throw their own trash away?

Tip: Some food trucks do not have contracts and that is ok. But, encourage them to draw one up for your big day. Make sure detailed information is included, like what they specifically will be serving, how many guests they are serving, how long it will take to serve all the guests, their arrival time, set up time, and their departure time. This will ensure they perform the service wanted and are timely.

Having a Backyard Wedding

Backyard weddings are great if you want to save some extra cash but there are many things to consider before turning your or your parent’s backyard into a wedding venue.

Kitchen Space: Your kitchen may only be big enough to prepare food for 50 people in a timely manner. If you bring in a caterer, he may ask you to provide more prep space.

Bathroom: In general, it is a good idea to follow the rule of 1 bathroom for every 35-50 guests. If you do not have enough bathrooms, consider renting a port-a-pottie. There a fancy, nice looking mobile bathroom for rent. You do not have to rent the blue construction kind. The nice port-a-potties are a bit pricey at around $1,000 a piece.

Parking: Allow 1 parking space for every 2 people. If you are inviting 150 guests, then plan to have parking for 75 cars. If your neighborhood or property cannot hold this many car, consider reaching out to a church or grocery store to see if you can park in their lot. From here, you should offer a shuttle service for your guests.

Avoiding the Police: Check your city ordainces on noise and fin out when the cut off time is. Plan on turning the music off at this time of moving the party inside at a quieter level. Also, let your neighbors know ahead of time that you will be hosting an event and this is the time it starts and this is the time it will be over. Give you neighbors a number to contact (that is not the bride or grooms) so they can talk to you first instead of going to the police right away.

Be Prepared: Get liability insurance so you will be covered in the event of any unforeseen accidents. WedSafe.com is a great option when looking to cover your wedding.

Space: Make sure your yard is actually large enough to accommodate all the people you want to invite. How many tables and chairs will fit comfortably? This is a good time to ask a rental company to come take a look, so they can give you their professional opinion.

Electricity: Can your house handle all this power being drawn out. DJ, lights, and even catering all require power. Talk to your electrician and see what he thinks.

Time: Inventing a venue from scratch (gardening, set up, tear down, etc.) takes a lot of time and effort.

Benefits to having a backyard wedding:

• You will be able to customize and D.I.Y. your event space as much as you want

• You can pick any vendors you want, because many venues work with preferred vendors

• You can take your time setting up. You can set up stuff early and take stuff down later.

• You wedding date will be available

• Even though you will shell out some money turning your backyard into a venue, you will still save money in the long run because costs of venues can be outrageous

Wedding Day Timeline

Disclaimer: This is just an example of how a wedding timeline can look. Other cultures, couples, and religions may do things differently and that is perfectly fine! This timeline won’t give you exact start and finish times, but it will give you an idea of how much time you should allot to certain things.

Hair & Makeup: This usually starts about 5-7 hours before the ceremony begins. This all varies on how many people are getting their hair and makeup done, and if the bride and groom are doing a first look.

First Look: If you are doing a first look, this should happen at least 2 hours before the ceremony. This will give the photographers ample time to take portraits of the couple and bridal party pictures.

Dressing Up: If you are not doing a first look, the bride should put the dress on 1 hour -1.5 hours before the ceremony starts. This will leave the photographers with plenty of time to take detail shots, picture of someone buttoning up the dress, and bridesmaid photos.

Tip: Keep travel times in mind if you are not getting ready at the actual ceremony cite.

Ready to Go: Make sure the bride and the bridesmaids are on cite, ready to go, and hidden away at least 30 minutes before the ceremony starts because some guests will come early.  

Line Up: 10 minutes before the ceremony starts, have everyone lined up and ready to so the ceremony will start on time. You can have everyone lined up in a room or off to the side so that guests still coming in do not see the bridal party and family yet.

Ceremony: Ceremonies usually last 30 minutes to 1.5 hours depending on the kind of service.

Cocktail Hour: After the ceremony, guests should go to the cocktail hour for 60-90 minutes.

Pictures: If bride and groom did a first look, then only family members would need to stay behind at the ceremony cite for pictures during the cock tail hour (20-30 minutes). If there was no first look, the bridal party would also have to stay behind for pictures (20 minutes). After you finish family and bridal party photos, everyone can go on their way while the bride and groom stay for a portrait session (20-35 minutes).

Moving Guests: 15 minutes before the reception officially starts, have the guests ushered to the reception area. It will take some time for 150 guests to read the seating chart and find their seat.

Grand Entrance: The grand entrance will be right at the start of your reception. This can either be with your whole bridal party or just the bride and groom.

First Dance or Dinner: After the grand entrance, you can either go straight into your first dance which would take no longer than 5 minutes or you can go straight to dinner. Dinner can take anywhere from 45 minutes to 1.5 hours depends on how your food is being served.

Toasts: Toasts should be made after the last person is served or after the last table gets their food from the buffet. After the last people who got their food, have been eating for about 10 minutes, this is the perfect time to start toasts. Doing this will ensure that whoever got their food first isn’t sitting around bored twiddling their thumbs. No more than 5 people should give toasts for the sake of your guest’s attention span and interest. Tell the people giving toasts that they only have 2-3 minutes to talk but allot them 5 minutes each in the timeline to have some cushion room.

Dances: If you have not done your first dance, after toasts would be the time to do so. Then family dances should take place (mother and son, father and daughter, etc.) all of these dances should last about 2-3 minutes each, but in the timeline, allot 5 minutes per dance to account for shuffling around, clapping, and staring the next song.

Open Dancing: After all the special dances, the DJ or band should open the floor to dancing. This should last for at 45 minutes to an hour before anything else happens. The DJ and band work really hard to get the crowd excited and stopping the music after 15 minutes won’t get everyone on the dance floor.

After Dancing: The cake cutting, bouquet toss, and garter toss should all occur later on in the night, one after the other. These will take about 5 minutes each. If you are not doing a bouquet or garter toss, move your cake cutting to after the dances. This way, your audience is already engaged, and you don’t have to stop the dancing just for 5 minutes.

Last Call: The last call for the bar should be about 15-30 minutes before the event is supposed to end. The venue or caterer may have more specific guideline for when the last call will take place.

Grand Exit: It will take about 10 minutes to get all your guests lined up for the grand exit. It may take 15-20 minutes if it is a sparkler exit. Keep your venue in mind when planning the exit. Does the venue want you out exactly at the time your event is supposed to end or is the venue ok with guests not lining up until the end time of your event.

Timelines are important because they will help your wedding day flow seamlessly. This is also a very simplified timeline. Major timelines will include vendor info, contacts, addresses, info about set up/tear down, and more. Timelines are not the simplest documents, so it is recommended that you have a coordinator help put one together.

Things your Guests DON’T Care About

Invitations: Most guests will not look at the invitation again after initially receiving it and RSVPing. The invitation will most likely go in the trash or on the fridge, so they can look back at the time, date, and location. Your guests will not care if you did not purchase the most unique wedding invitations on Shutterfly or Minted.

Programs: The majority of guests attending will know what to expect at the ceremony and most guests will not remember a thing that the program says once the ceremony is over. If you get programs, someone will have to design them, pay for them, print them, set them out or hand them out, and then gather them back up. Most of the time, the programs go into the trash after the ceremony because they are useless to the guests and the bride’s family doesn’t need 200 copies of the same program. Save time, money, and the planet by not getting programs. No one will be mad you did not have programs at your ceremony. If you would still like to notify your guests of the ceremony timeline, try using a sign or chalkboard and place it where guests are walking in.

Escort Cards: Your guests will most likely not leave the event saying “Wow, what wonderful escort cards,” unless their names were engraved onto butterfly wings or something extravagant to that point. You will spend a lot of time and money of calligraphy for your escort cards when instead you could just have one large seating chart.

Guest Book: Most guest books never get over half way filled because guests do not actively seek out the guest book. Most guests only ever sign it because someone asks them to or they stumble upon it.

Linens: The cloths you cover the tables with, will not make a lasting impression on your guests unless they are all sparkly and have sequins. You can go for the base colors and prices and guests will not complain.

First Dance: Guests do enjoy watching the first dance, but they don’t care if it is choreographed or if it is the full song. Don’t stress over your first dance and just enjoy yourself.

Slide Shows: After sitting through toasts, you can bet your guests don’t want to sit through a slide show. Your guests are bored, get them on the dance floor.

Cake: A lot of guests prefer a dessert table over a 7-layer fondant covered cake. Cake isn’t for everyone and the dessert table will cater to more guests interests and likes.

Bouquet Toss: Not many people will be upset that the dancing did not stop so all the single ladies could catch flowers in front of everyone.

Favors: If you do favors, you will have so many left behind. Some people will forget there’s and other people just don’t care to take them. You or a loved one will spend a lot of time and money on these and the majority of them will be left behind. People won’t go home upset from your event because they didn’t have favors. If you want to give your guests a little something, extra desserts or some midnight snacks will go a long way.

Things Guests DO Care About

Date, Time, & Location: Your guests would like to attend so do not put the date near a major holiday. Most people vacation or visit friends and family during this time. Don’t make your ceremony too early and don’t make your reception too late. You want to have time to get ready in the morning and not all of your guests are going to be night owls. Lastly, make the location accessible and if it is a destination wedding, make is somewhere people actually want to go.

The Weather: Your guests will not be happy if they are freezing or sweating. Do not have an outdoor wedding in January unless you are close to the equator and do not have an outdoor wedding in the middle of summer unless you are located very north.

Tip: If any part of your event if outside and it is less than 65 degrees out, you need to rent heaters.

Parking: Guests want parking close, accessible, and free (or low cost)

Timeliness: If things are not on time, guests will notice. If you start the ceremony late, guests will get antsy and notice. If your cocktail hour runs for 3 hours, guests will notice. If the caterer has taken over an hour to get everyone their food, guests will notice. If guests begin looking around, it is time to get the show on the road.

The Entertainment: DJs and bands are every penny because they keep the guests entertained. Guests will also enjoy other activites like photo booths, mad libs, or lawn games.

The Food: Many guests will skip lunch or only have a light snack in order to prepare for your wedding food. Make sure you have good, enjoyable food. Also, serve appetizers because you cannot make your guests go that long without eating. Hangry guests are not happy guests.

The Drinks: Alcohol is important because it will get your guests moving on the dance floor. If you are having an alcohol-free event, serve some lavender lemonade, a mocktail, an Arnold palmer. Make your drinks more interesting than just water.

Tip: Do not have cash bars at your wedding. If you cannot afford a full bar, serve wine and beer only or do not have a bar at all.

You: All these guests are coming to your wedding day to support you and your spouse on your big day. Try to stop by each table and say hi to your guests during the reception. It will mean a lot to them.

Your guests really do care about all of these things. If you want them to stay for the whole event, feed them well and entertain them

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