Mother. Wife. Nurturer. Women have always taken on these roles with a sense of pride, earlier generations were taught to aspire to such positions in life. However, in 1963, Betty Friedan published Feminine Mystique, a book that brought a different light on the women of the prior decade. Could a life inside a white picket fence really be fulfilling or did it merely leave a void of “what if’s” in its stead?
To begin, the cultural norms and gender roles stereotypes of the fifties weighed heavily on the consciousness of the American woman. Men were considered the breadwinners of each suburban family while women were homemakers; having it any other way was considered “odd” and even “unfeminine.” In the Feminine Mystique, Betty Friedan painted a detailed picture of a woman’s status in the post-WWII era. “Millions of women lived their lives in the image of those pretty pictures of the American suburban housewife, kissing their husband's goodbye in front of the picture window, depositing their stationwagonsful of children at school, and smiling as they ran the new electric waxer over the spotless kitchen floor.” (Friedan 18) For a woman in the fifties to have a career and to be independent was unheard of as anyone who didn’t fit the mold was considered to be odd and unfeminine. Society was shaped by ideas that gave men the opportunities of a successful career while teaching women to only aspire to marriage and motherhood beyond her primary years. To say that women were expected to stay in the kitchen was an understatement; it moreover was a given that women would only leave the house when necessary, not when she wanted to. The homemaker of each house would spend her days cooking and cleaning while her husband was off at work and their kids studied at school. Women began to fall into this pattern of unrest as they surveyed the lives they’d always dreamed of and asked themselves, “Is this all?” The status of women in the 1950s is best described as almost over productive but unfulfilled according to Friedan.
In response to this problem with no name of Friedan’s, many women began to seek roles outside of the home. Some would volunteer at the local PTA, some would host book club meetings; there were even women would devote hours to cooking elaborate meals. In the fifties, culinary cookbooks became popularized by notable names like Betty Crocker. Supermarkets and processed food also contributed to cooking craze, though it wasn’t enough to just crack open a can of vegetables. It was stressed to women that they had to make extravagant meals or else they’d be failing as a housewife and mother. Everything had to be repurposed into other creations. “By "doctoring" food, women retained their position as the only real cook of the family. Any member of the family could open a can, but only Mom knew to add chopped watercress and milk to a can of potato soup and make "Watercress Vichyssoise.” (Neuhaus) It was also a popular belief amongst housewives that their husband’s tastes are the only ones catered to. It’s always joked that the best way to someone’s heart is through their stomach; this philosophy was popularized in the fifties. Of course, it seemed that almost everything women did was to cater to their husbands. For the most part, women accepted their role in suburban life; Neuhaus’ journaling notes the many ways of their compliance.
When taking a step back from Neuhaus’ support and Friedan’s work, it’s important to survey more than just one suburban area. As promoted in the Feminine Mystique, the idea of a discontent feeling among suburban housewives is made out to be prominent and almost universal. However, this is not the case; neither is it the case for housewives to stay home all day. An academic journal put together by Melody L. Miller showcases a variety of surveys given to a group of over five-hundred women. The survey consisted of dependent variables like the general satisfaction of life and self-esteem as well as independent variables including other roles each woman might take on. The conclusion led researchers to believe that the average mother was in her mid-thirties, had finished high school, was married and had at least two children. Beyond the overall takeaway, the survey presented about seventy-two percent of women were club members, eighty percent were frequently social with neighbors and ninety-five percent were social with friends. “Overall, they reported low levels of detachment and discontent as mothers, moderately positive self-esteem, and high general life satisfaction.” (Miller) In comparison to Friedan’s Feminine Mystique, this research proves the book’s message of discontent to be a bit over-exaggerated. When applying the knowledge from Miller’s research, it would be a safe bet to say most women didn’t — in fact — suffer from Friedan’s problem with no name.
In conclusion, most women found themselves to be suburban housewives in the 1950s. They were expected to cook, clean, nurture and entertain their families; while some found this repetitive, daily cycle to leave them feeling empty, that’s just not the case on a broader spectrum of American society in the post-WWII era. Overall, this status of stay-at-home mother and wife was widely accepted by women. Friedan’s book merely amplifies the voice of a minority party of unsatisfied wives; the rest of the suburbs seem to have done just fine.
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