Thomas Jefferson, Founding Father and author of the Declaration of Independence, once said, “we hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men and women are created equal”. He denotes that we are all are born equal, and so, deserving of the same rights. However, Robin Lakoff argues that this is not always true in her book, Language and Woman’s Place. She says that while we are born equal, we are not necessarily treated the same way. Language is used to represent and divide genders therefore while we “use language” to communicate, it also defines our self. Our language varies by gender, class, and other cultural differences. This then creates discrimination, certain expectations, and stereotypes that we see today. Lakoff studies how gender and language is associated, and concludes that women experience language discrimination because women are taught to speak in a certain way from an early age. Because of this, women are represented in a different light compared to men. For example, she analyzes how male and female perceive colors. Generally, if a man is presented a certain color, he would most likely identify it with the color in its simplest form such as white, black, red etc. In contrast to this, a woman might associate different colors with their shades, like mauve, nude, baby pink etc(1973:49). So while we use language to communicate, the form of language that we use defines how others perceive us.
This is very evident in our society today as the way we communicate continues to expand, and the beliefs we previously held are continuously challenged and conformed. Today, it has never been easier to express unpopular opinion without the certainty of facing the consequences. Our forms of commutation have adapted so that people are able to remain anonymous and therefore, people are not held accountable for their language and opinion. Not only this, but the way women are portrayed in the media has set new, unrealistic standards. Hence, discrimination today has intensified. This is why I agree with Lakoff’s standpoint. I believe that society has, with or without intention, taught and groomed women so that they are discriminated against. Women are taught to represent themselves in a way that conforms to society’s standards. And so, the stereotypical female is born; one that does not curse, speaks politely, and submissive.
Firstly, note that the idea of language is broad. Raymond Williams introduces in Keywords: A Vocabulary of Culture and Society that language can take many forms. It can range from visual communication to written. So, we can associate language with how one dresses or talks. Language can also be found in books as text or as a picture. Either way, information is still communicated. Therefore, the way we present ourselves is a form of language. If we are taught to present ourselves as a stereotypical female, then language uses us to define who we are in society.
Stereotypes are unavoidable. And this is discussed in Unthinking Eurocentrism by Ella Shohat and Robert Stam. They tackle the idea of representation and its validity. So, while we gain ideas and visuals from the media, it is not always correct. For example, the way minorities are portrayed in films usually is an exaggeration from reality. A reasoning for this is that the those in power in the film industry, mostly whites, get to control what is portrayed. So, we have minorities, including women, with no voice. This does not help alleviate the discrimination that women and minorities face today in that women and minorities are unable to break the mold that they are placed in. The way women are presented in films is considered as the correct way of being a woman and so, women are taught to present themselves in that way to be socially accepted.
George Herbert Mead theorizes that people as individuals consists of two components: the self (“I”) and the generalized other (“Me”) in Mind, Self and Society. The self is the individual’s perception of himself and cannot be static as we develop this through social interactions and activities (1929:155). Mead also argues that we talk to our self as if we are talking to an audience. Therefore, whenever you ask yourself a question, in theory, you are analyzing the perception of others on you (1929:141). The generalized other, on the other hand, is defined as the expectations and standards that society places against you. Hence, one’s society controls the individual (1929:155). There is a constant battle between the self and the generalized other to attain the kind of self that is allowed (1929:163). This supports Lakoff’s argument in that there is an ongoing struggle between how we use language and the way this defines us. She says that we are taught to “talk like a lady” meaning women must speak politely and cautiously (1973: 49). If not, the person is rejected for having a masculine image (1973: 47).
Like Mead, Erving Goffman explores the idea of performance. He develops Mead’s idea of role-taking, which is to take another role to better conform to society’s expectations and then, one can lead to self-consciousness (1929:151). Goffman infers that we are constantly performing for an audience and that we portray ourselves based on how we want to be seen (1956:8). Additionally, we have personal fronts which is how we dress, talk, and gesture (1956:14). Lakoff agrees with this as we use language as our personal front. For example, there is a difference in the way women and men use exclamations. Men would typically curse whereas a woman would be expected to say weaker expletives like, “Oh dear!” (1973:50) If men were to use ‘feminine’ words, they would be perceived as homosexual or rejecting the masculine image (1973:53).
Stuart Hall ties in with Lakoff’s argument in terms of representation. He says that language is a representational system in which we use signs and symbols, from written language, music to an image, to signify concepts, ideas and feelings (1997:204). Similarly, Lakoff’s argument is that women are presented through language, whether it’s behavior or how one talks. Also, Lakoff asserts that certain terms in the English language, for example, carry different connotations when associated with gender. The term ‘bachelor’ for example signifies that a man is unmarried whereas a woman would be called a ‘spinster’. Comparing these two terms, there is a glaring difference with how each one is viewed in our culture (1973:66). Being a bachelor is more socially accepted and in fact, can be regarded as ‘cool’. To be a spinster, on the other hand, refers to a woman who is unable to obtain a relationship. One would rather be a bachelor than a spinster. Both of these symbols, while they translate to the same thing, do not carry the same representation, just like how some hand signs can be translated differently based on culture. Hall says (1997:205) that language varies heavily on the culture it is attached to, just like how the definition of a woman can vary from culture to culture.
Women being viewed differently is further proved by John Berger in Chapter 3 of Ways of seeing. He says that a woman’s presence is different from a man in that men exert power onto others whereas a woman is more internal. It is in her gesture, opinion, and surroundings that creates her presence. As a result, he says that a woman must continually watch how she is recognized, especially, how she appears to men. This is because it is a measure of her success. A woman will get a sense of accomplishment when she is appreciated by others (1972:46). So, like Lakoff, he says that “men act and women appear” (1972:47). Women are turned into a symbol or an object, and is something to be admired, like a piece of art (1972:46). Her opinion is not as heavily regarded, not like her counterpart. Furthermore, women become a possession that men acquire. For example, when a woman is wed, she takes the last name of her partner whereas a man does not make any changes. This signifies that her identity changes and that she is nothing more than his wife (1973:73).
The struggle of being a woman may never be resolved because the definition of being one is constantly changing. This idea is solidified through different forms of communication that is also continually evolving. Thus, Lakoff is correct in stating that language uses us as much as we use it to communicate. They both work together to create different expectations which shape our society. Unfortunately, some of these expectations are not distributed equally and so we get problems such as discrimination.