Weddings are a universal symbol of unity and happiness in cultures all over the world. They are a time of reunion for families, grand feasts, and extravagant apparel in order to celebrate the marriage of the bride and groom. Every culture has its own set of traditions, beliefs, and rituals it believes in. These are all passed down for generations through important events, especially weddings. One prominent culture in the world that has been doing this for many centuries is the Filipino culture. Through important events such as weddings, Filipinos have carried their culture through the ages. A marriage is seen as one of the biggest milestones in a person’s life, so it has very high regard in the Filipino community. Over time, the way these marriages happen has changed, but Filipinos stay true to their traditions. Filipino weddings are something that the culture cherishes very much because of the importance it has and the good fortune that it brings.
Historically, Filipino weddings were always arranged by the parents of the man and woman getting married. Majority of Filipinos are Catholic, while a very small portion are Muslim, so their religions played a role in the marriages (Casino 34). The process of a marriage started with the man’s parents formally meeting the woman’s parents to ask for their daughter’s hand in marriage (Martin 50). In order to gain approval from the bride-to-be’s family, the future son-in-law would have to perform chores for the woman’s family. This tradition was called Paninilbihan, which meant to be of service (Namkoong 46). The marriage plans would not be told to the woman until after they were settled. Most of the time, the man’s family would take care of most expenses, but the woman’s family would have to provide a dowry in order for the marriage to take place. A dowry can be money, jewelry, property, or any other form of wealth that is given to the groom’s family. There would be a pre-wedding celebration, followed by three days of the wedding (Martin 50). The pre-wedding celebration consisted of friends and family celebrating the upcoming wedding, including a dinner from the bride’s family as a way to honor her send-off. The couple and their families and friends would go to Church, and Communion was required (Aoanan 285). For the actual wedding, the bride and groom would almost always wear white due to their Catholic religion. The bride would wear a Baro’t Saya, which is a long, high-waisted skirt and a long-sleeved top with puffy shoulders. The groom would wear a Barong Tagalog, which is a top often hand-woven with materials such as pineapple leaf fibers. On the first of three days, the bride and groom would then go to the babaylan, or priest’s, house where he would bless them by joining their hands over a plate of raw rice (Alcantara 7). On the third day, the bride and groom return to the babaylan so that he can prick their chests to draw some blood The couple would then hold hands and announce three times the love they have for each other. After being fed some cooked rice from the same plate and drinking water with their blood mixed in, the couple’s necks and hands would be tied with a cord. This act finally declared their marriage as officially complete (Martin 52). The newlyweds would mostly get money from the wedding attendees as a marriage present. A big feast followed the marriage ceremony, concluding the celebration (Martin 52). The couple would live at the groom’s house with his parents as per tradition. The marriage symbolized the unity of two families and their communities, and everyone blessed the couple to live the rest of their lives happily together.
In present-day, Filipino weddings occur a bit differently in their ways, but they are still true to many of their traditions. As opposed to arranged marriages, Filipinos mostly have love marriages where the man and woman can choose to marry each other. Both sets of parents still have to approve of the bride and groom, though, and they still expect their children to accept a bride or groom if they find one (Martin 53). Once, the families of the bride and groom meet and make the marriage agreement, preparations begin to take place for the wedding. Like traditional times, the groom’s family still takes on the expenses of the wedding. Dowries are still given by most families of brides, as it is a sense of status for Filipinos (Almirol 300). Due to the strong devotion to the Catholic religion, Filipino weddings are held at churches, and if the local church isn’t available, the wedding can take place as a “civil ceremony” publicly with a rabbi or judge present to officialize the marriage (Hays). Reservations have to be made at least three months prior to the date of the wedding (Hays). The couple-to-be must partake in certain practices before the wedding, such as a canonical interview, marriage counseling, marriage preparation seminar, confession at the church, and rehearsal (Hays). In addition, prior to marriage, the couple must be confirmed. Family and friends of both families are invited to come to the wedding, as it is a blessing to just watch such an important wedding. As per tradition, families can choose to have a pre-wedding celebration for the bride and groom. A practice that is at every Filipino wedding is the “Money Dance,” where the “bride and groom dance to a favorite popular tune or Filipino love song while guests place dollar bills in the mouth of the bride” (Namkoong 47). This was meant to be a way of having fun and of displaying the prestige of the family. After the pre-wedding celebrations are over, the actual wedding follows. Due to America’s influence in the Philippines, the bride now mostly wear a white wedding dress and the groom wears a black tuxedo (Hays). The guests can dress in traditional Filipino clothing, or come in Western formal clothing such as dresses and suits. There is a groomsman, bridesmaid, best man, maid of honor, and flower girls present at the wedding to perform their duties, and to help everything go smoothly (Garces-Foley 32). There are several Filipino customs that are still prevalent in the weddings today, such as the candle ceremony and the cord ceremony (Romulo and Dandan-Albano). The candle ceremony is where the bride and groom each use their own candle to light a bigger third candle. “The candles symbolize the Light of Christ, the same light they received at Baptism and now receive again to lead them in their new life as a couple. They also symbolize the wedding ceremonies essence: two people becoming one while retaining their own identities” (Hays). For the cord ceremony, a yugal, which is a fancy, white cord, is put onto the couple’s shoulders “in the sign of infinity. It symbolizes everlasting fidelity and signifies that they walk the world as equals” (Hays). These ceremonies take place before the couple arrives at the altar and is officially wed. Once the bride and groom make their way to the altar, with the bride on the left side and the groom on the right, they say their vows. Then, in the presence of all of their family and friends, the couple is officially wed by the priest. The couple then exchanges “wedding coins” to symbolize their commitment and dedication to each other and the life they are going to lead together. After the wedding is over, the attendees of the guest are served a grand array of celebratory Filipino food, including dishes such as lechon (roasted pig) and garlic fried rice. No matter what time of day the wedding took place, a large meal always follows. The newlyweds receive many presents from their guests, such as money and items to place in their new home. A day or two after the wedding, the reception takes place at the bride’s house or a restaurant (Hays). Upon returning to the bride’s house after all of the celebrations, the couple can choose to stay there, go to the groom’s house, or live on their own in their house. After taking care of any marriage matters, the newlyweds begin their new life together, dedicated to each other for life.
Weddings are one of the most relevant events in a Filipino’s life, because of its importance in the culture. According to Filipino culture, weddings are one of the biggest milestones in one’s life, because it declares him or her an adult and starts a new beginning in his or her life. Young people are even encouraged to get married as soon as they can due to this (Hays). It is like a rite of passage, so it has very high regard in the culture. The Filipino culture is very family-oriented, so good relationships within families and between family members is very important to Filipinos. A wedding unites two whole families together through the marriage of the bride and groom and creates many new long-lasting relationships, which is something of great value to the culture as a whole. Even though Filipino weddings have become more westernized, Filipino traditions and customs are still followed and passed onto new generations. Weddings are one of events where these cultural traditions can be showcased and passed on. In addition, due to the fact that almost all Filipinos are Catholic, weddings are a way for them to practice their religion and unite two people with God’s blessings. Weddings are such a vital part of Filipino history and culture that divorces are illegal in the Philippines.