Adoption can be a blessing to women who are misfortunate not to bear a child herself. However, the topic of adoption can also be a sensitive and heartbreaking when it comes from a woman or a family in general who may not be able to take care of the child. There are 107,000 children in foster homes waiting to be adopted by a family. Kolander mentions in the book that “adoption is an alternative to assisted reproduction or abortion “(Kolander, 261). Adoption can be known for being both open and closed. The textbook says that the correct definition for a closed adoption is “being a confidential adoption where there is no contact between birth parents and the adoptive parents.” Whereas, an open adoption is “the contact between both parents and adoptive parents” (Kolander, 262). When adoptive choose for an open adoption the communication between both sets of parents from the child include letters every so often about the development of the child, and also reduces the child’s curiosity of guessing who their parents are. It has also been proving “preferred and accepted standard in the United States, with 90% of domestic infant adoptions having some degree of openness.” (Women’s Health).
Even though adoption can be a blessing to some it can also be a curse! Adoption has consequences no matter how helpful it is to women and families. And consequences affect not only the mother but also the child. For example, with open adoptions being the risks of birth parents intruding on the adoption family because they may feel they have the right to do so regardless of the rights being signed over. Which can cause the bonding to be difficult if there seems to be a battle for the child’s attention. Kolander says that “adoption issues have changed because the rights of adoptees are now viewed as being equal to the right of birth parents and adoptive parents” (Kolander, 261). Adoption affects every woman differently, just because of the whole process, which can be difficult. With the buildup thoughts and feelings of anticipation and expectation of being accepted of the child no matter the age and race, due to rejection from the child and the birth parents if they don’t go with a particular family or person.
However, on the contrary, birth parents have it the worse outside of the adoptees and the birthparents. In Bahr’s article she says that "There are a lot of misconceptions of who birth parents are," Harrell says. "People think that they're teenagers, or that they're on drugs. That may be true for some, but for many, they are kind of the girl next door. Some could be in their 30s or 40s. It's all different." Birth mothers make the most precious sacrifices whether some realize it or not by allowing her child to up for adoption. After a child is given up for adoption the women often suffer from severe exhibited residual feelings of anger, shame, guilt, unworthiness, and the worst of all grief. These women often have to block out their feelings of motherhood and accepting whatever role is given to them is by an opened, closed, or private adoption. In their personal environments, they deal with life crises by becoming depressed, bothered by spurts of anger, job loss, and parenting struggles. (Gustafson, 2005; Solinger, 2001)
Even more, “18 birth mothers who participated in open adoption reported more grief symptoms such as crying, sleeplessness, a sense of despair, and dependency than the 41 birth mothers who engaged in closed adoption arrangements.
If I were to have a client(s) who wanted to adopt a child I would make sure that they understand the difference between the two different open and closed adoptions. I would also inform the client that is also another option which is known as the National Adoption Registry Inc. which is a private registry that accepts birth parents, adoptees, and other interested people. These agencies are able to take statistics from the adoptees to match them in a database to be matched with an existing file, which does include a cost to register. However, with open and closed adoptions they can cost between $20,000 to $40,000. So, if they are ready to invest in their future then we could follow the plans of working through the home-ponder process, a broad historical verification required for every single assenting family. The investigation includes one-on-one meetings and home visits, and in addition printed material to check medical records, bank statements and individual narratives. Then create a scrapbook describing your family in pictures and eye-catching adjectives for you to be picked as an adoptee parent(s).
To be reminded that the home study process can take up to six weeks to six months We would also have to think about the child they would want to have as an addition to their family. They would have to pick a gender, age, ethnic background, and be considerate of the adoptees medical and mental history. The women would have to be open to the obstacles that could occur during the process. Adoptions are processes known, not only to make sure that the match is accurate but also the growth and trusting the parents to be responsible and reliable for the child. In Bahr’s article of “The labor of adoption” she made a good quote by saying based off her past clients in adoption that “While adoption can be a life-changing opportunity for families and children in need, it is far from simple.” Because the time waiting game depends on how picky they are for the child.
The research topic of adoption showed me all points of view of how adoption can not only affect a woman but can also affect the adoptees and both parents also. Because I noticed that in the type of situation whether it be an adoption from a foster care or from a private agency everyone has feelings involved. And a situation of this sorts is where it can be a win/ lose, a win/win, or a win/lose. In the book, it mentions how many regular children are removed from their families due to abuse or neglect! But people would never know that unless they have planned to adopt and took the time to learn about foster care too. But, it is a myth to assume that all children who are in foster care have special needs!