The Entire Social History of You:
The Analysis of an Individual’s Social Development Timeline
Social interactions have not always been my forte, but through many developmental processes and over many years, I have learned to adapt to those around me and for the most part avoid embarrassment and awkwardness. Throughout the duration of this course these previously mentioned processes have been defined, and I now possess the ability to survey my past and pinpoint key moments of social development – now using scientifically accurate terms.
There are many diverse aspects of social interaction, but one of the vital points outlined in class is that of social referencing. Essentially, social referencing is a child’s ability to “read the room”: to analyze the physical/emotional/mental atmosphere around them, and make knowledgeable decisions on how to continue based on the information gathered. I was able to identify this term as being vital in early social development through a study carried out by Professors Walden and Ogan from Vanderbilt University, where infants as young as six months were able to successfully reference their caretakers’ facial expressions before interacting with their surroundings. Although my incessant need to be a “people-pleaser” is a story better saved for another time, I believe it feeds directly into my ability to social reference. I have always had the desire to make other people happy or make them laugh, so I constantly made jokes and strove to be the “funny” one in the family. I was successful because of my ability to time all of humour effectively, which stems even further back to my ability to social reference cues that allowed me to be successful. For example, I would purposefully seek out moments of awkward silence, tension, or where attention had been pulled to me, and seize the opportunity to try and make everyone laugh. Within my family, this ability benefitted me, as they would often laugh as to support me. In the long run however, I think this may have moved my ability to social reference off center, as how you act with your immediate family does not typically translate well amongst others.
This support I received from my family would be an example of positive epigenesis: the reduction or, in this case, emphasis, of a certain trait as a response to something in the individual’s environment. In simpler terms, the way I would socialize was appreciated, so I continued to act that way. When I attended public school for the first time, however, the process would begin to shift in the opposite direction. I attempted to be the center of attention, and because I assumed it would always work, I did not even attempt to social reference as I assumed that the way I acted would be appreciated everywhere. This trait could be attested to my early internalization of the beliefs of my family. This internalization, defined as the process by which individuals accept and adopt the beliefs and values held by those who surround and associate with them, blindsided me to the fact that others may not hold the exact same values as myself. I believe this all to be influential on my style of social interaction because in a study affiliated with Columbia University, it was determined that epigenesis plays a role in many aspects of social development and interactions. This study found that this is especially true when it came to those who experience social isolation or stress, the previous of which I consider myself to have experienced to some extent.
Once I became aware of my lack of social skills, I started to look around me to find examples of what to do. An extreme case of conscious social referencing, I was simply seeking a template of which to base my future interactions off of. What I noticed in common with all of the popular kids is that they were either super talkative or were super athletic. What I didn’t realize until recently, is that these “models” were providing examples of an evocative gene-environment interactions. They would always light up the room and everyone around them, teachers included, would suddenly be excited and super talkative, just because that was the type of student they were. That is because these children were likely genetically predisposed to act in a manner that elicits a response from other individuals around them. I did not realize that I could not entirely change my genetic makeup to act this way, so I attempted for quite some time. Eventually, after abandoning this goal, I was able to form a small group of outcast friends through niche-picking. Niche-picking is the process in which individuals actively seek out environments that support their genetic tendencies. Also referred to as “niche building” in a study performed by Sandra Scarr and Kathleen McCartney, niche-picking allows for the “building” of social groups, where those with similar genetic tendencies band together so these tendencies can be expressed.
In general, this course has been the most helpful in giving specific terms and definitions to topics I have already experienced to an extent. In terms of this project, I was able to create a timeline of my social development, and can now broaden it to many others in a similar situation. Beginning with the development of social referencing, the process of epigenesis, all the way to the development of relationships and the ability to socialize successfully in all environments, it has been very fulfilling to walk myself through my past and understand what specific processes occurred. Being a serial over-thinker, it will be extremely useful in the future to be able to assess and analyze my own interactions, as well as those around me, in order to further understand why people act the way they do in social situations – to see all sides of an interaction.
As previously stated, the process of analyzing social development after the fact, where hindsight is 20/20, is extremely satisfying. During adolescence, I was constantly stressed and always blamed myself for not being “cool” enough or not fitting in, but now I fully understand why this occurred. Considering all of the outside influences I was not directly responsible for, social development is not a straight line – there are many diverse facets of interaction that result in a unique developmental process, and a unique social life as a result.