The identification of each individual comes with a sense of self awareness to allow the experiences and culture that has been imbedded within their growth to build their personality. These individual and collective forms of identity, which could be defined through family, local, history, and tradition, creates and sustains their character development. Esmeralda Santiago is widely praised for her poignant yet nostalgic portrayal of her experience of growing up in both Puerto Rico and the United States. In “When I was Puerto Rican” by Esmeralda Santiago, through her recollections of her past experiences, comes to successfully negotiate the differences existing in various social constructs to ultimately understand her own meaning of life and her position as a native woman.
Her father had taught her the normalization of Puerto Rican derogatory terms such as spics, and why Puerto Ricans address Americans as imperialists and gringos, due to the words carrying a humiliating insult. The definition of imperialist came to be one who “[wanted] to change our country and our culture to be like theirs (Santiago, 73),” showing the insolence that Americans have for the Puerto Rican culture. The Puerto Rican government invited nutritionists to show women about proper hygiene and food choice, knowing nothing about the culture of Puerto Rico. The nourishments and vegetables being presented couldn't be found inside this nation, demonstrating their aloofness to the neighborhood culture. Negi, after eating the American food distributed by the experts, worried about her father believing her to be as the Americans, with their pretentious nature toward Puerto Rico’s language, tradition, and culture. She didn't want to lose herself as a Puerto Rican, and her father reassured her unless “[she] like it better than [their] Puerto Rican food (Santiago, 74).” Thoroughly Negi explores the American culture, conflicting with the ways that her father has taught her. As she neglects the guavas and choice of foods that her identity as a Puerto Rican had given way to her new identity.
Through her parents, Negi searches for identity she begins to understand of gender roles in society; learning that “men could look at women any way they liked but women could never look at men directly…unless they were putas” (p.30). In a patriarchal ideology, women who didn’t follow the saying were deemed as a Puta, a whore; Negi realized that women were in a position of subordination. In the dynamic, men could betray women and their freedom would not be challenged, however women could never aspire for the same freedom. Negi’s father consistently abandons the family shunning the responsibility of taking care of his children. Women’s role in marital life is bound to tending the children and doing house chores; any individual who adventures outside this existing conditions would be viewed as going against societal norms. In light of the money related troubles, Negi's mother manages to find a job, which improves the financial condition but attracts resentment and ridicule because working women were despised in this culture, making Negi’s mother a social outcast. The bond between mother and daughter strengthened, allowing Negi to first hand understand the hardships and moreover respect her.
The use of the title “Jibara” for the first chapter, referring to the rural Puerto RIco with distinctive dialects and customs, signifying signifying Negi’s early pondering over the cultural elements in the society. The fact that she constantly moved with her family from Macun to suburban Santurce and other neighborhoods in town suggests that she had to frequently adjust her identity and position herself against the changing landscapes and different societies. No matter where she moved, she seemed to be still at ease with life in Macun, indicating her acceptance of the jíbaro way of life, even though her mother was quite antagonistic. After the family moved to Brooklyn in New York, Negi continued to show her preference for life in Puerto Rico. She embarrassed being Puerto Rican because although their society was characterized with gender prejudice, economic hardship, and social immobility, it was a society in which people had a strong sense of community. Her life in New york was one containing dangers and the high possibility of “murders, rapes, muggings, knifings and shootings” (Santiago 252). The hospitality of Puerto Rican communities were replaced with the neighborhood of those who were distrusting of others, due to the marginalization of ethnic minorities.
The migration of the family transformed Negi into a immigrant young lady straddling borders and culturally aware identity expected Negi to arrange the distinctions and locate her importance throughout everyday life. All through the diary, Negi considered delicately over the inquiries of class, sex, religion, and ethnicity, which was practiced in nostalgically thinking back on her past encounters. From a Puerto Rican jíbara to a New York occupant, Negi's beneficial encounters enveloped a few movements which constrained her to deal with her personality. As a Puerto Rican American living in New York, Negi was very aware of her Puerto Rican starting point, yet her accomplishment in making progress toward self-satisfaction and self-assurance as a female prepared for her to acknowledge the American personality. Her prosperity was without uncertainty a common rendition of American Dream on the grounds that the territory had furnished her with circumstances that were nearly denied to her on the island on account of her female personality.