Being a Surrogate Mother and The Controversy That Follows
“You have never really lived until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.” This is what occurs while being a surrogate mother. A surrogate mother is a woman who agrees to physically bear and give birth to a child for a family who is unable to grow or carry children on their own. Surrogacy is a growing practice throughout many states and countries all over the world. Surrogacy affects the surrogate woman, child, other children involved, and the intended parents. Generally, this occurs because of problems within the uterus of the intended mother. Surrogacy has become more controversial over time to where some women have tried to sue the carriers, and some countries have banned it all together. With surrogacy there are several good aspects of it, as long as negative aspects with some risks.
Being a surrogate mother takes a special person that often feels she can provide a child, so she should give the gift of life to someone who cannot. Most women who are a part of surrogacy tend to feel that it is something they should do or want to do, adding to their life and making it seem more fulfilled. Most women don’t do it for the money, and they have other reasons as to why they want to do it, although it is something that is taken into consideration as well. Generally, these women like the process of having a baby but can’t or don’t physically want a baby. These women tend to be younger, have full working reproductive organs to be able to carry the baby and have already completed their own family. Most surrogates tend to feel a sense of relief when it is over with both happiness and sadness mixed in. Some surrogates also do it several times, whereas some may only do it once and not do it again.
Families tend to turn to surrogacy when there are problems with their uterus, or if the uterus is not fully functioning like it should, leading to reasons they would be unable to conceive or carry a child. For some women this can occur from congenital defects or health issues. Women who have cervical cancer may need to have a hysterectomy, which is the removal of the uterus, and would make it impossible for her to carry a child. Women can also have congenital abnormalities that can affect the uterus structure or lead to too much scarring. Another reason a woman would need to use a surrogate would be if she has a history of continuous miscarriages or other side-lying medical conditions that may make the mother unfit to carry a child. There can also be problems that may have occurred due to previous complications in a past pregnancy. The most common problem that may lead to an abnormal functioning uterus would be bleeding with being pregnant, or after giving birth. Another common problem would be due to a uterine rupture simply from the uterus being too thin or weak. Lastly, same-sex families would also be a candidate for surrogacy due to not having all the reproductive organs to create a child together.
Surrogacy is such a rewarding way to bring a child into the world for those who are unable to. There are two different types of surrogates, artificial insemination and in vitro fertilization. Artificial insemination is also known as the traditional way of surrogacy. This is when the intended mother does not have the eggs or the proper fertility to create a baby. With this type the surrogate mother’s eggs are used and would make her the biological mother of the child, then the father’s sperm would be added through insemination. With in-vitro fertilization, or gestational surrogacy, the intended mother is just unable to carry the child. Cases like this would occur if the mother’s uterus is too thin or weak, or if she has had a hysterectomy. For this type, the mother’s eggs and the father’s sperm would be created into an embryo then implanted into the surrogate mother’s uterus. This means that the women carrying the child has no genetic connection to the child like they would in the traditional surrogacy.
The difference between surrogacy and adoption is that surrogacy is to start a family or give a family a child, whereas adoption is to give the child a family. Adoption also tends to take place with older children and is not always from birth like with surrogacy. With abortion and adoption, it is considered a socially acceptable norm, but when it comes to surrogacy it tends to be more controversial and unconventional.
During surrogacy, women are able to receive financial rewards throughout the process. There are two different ways that they could go about getting that. They are able to go through a certain agency to become a carrier, which will often cover and reimburse the woman for all medical bills and other costs that may have to occur during her gestation. Surrogacy can also be through friends, family, people they may know or people who may be advertising it in other places outside of an agency. This is another way that the woman will be able to be reimbursed for her medical costs or time she is out of work due to the process.
Being a surrogate has many different benefits to it. To start it allows those who are unable to conceive or carry a child to be able to raise a child like it were their own with part, if not all, the genetic DNA of the intended parents. Although there may be risks, they are not different from any other pregnancy, with or without surrogacy. This process also helps families to be more open about their experience and how the child was conceived. Some also gain a close relationship to the surrogate mother and bring them in as another person to their family. Whereas some have a relationship for a little while then decrease their contact with one another over time.
While being a surrogate mother, there are always some things that can make it a not so good experience and lead to having negative aspects. Being a surrogate mother fully entails that one gets pregnant for someone else with the intention of giving the child away and back to those who needed help to have a child. One of the main psychological issues with surrogacy is that these women tend to struggle with having to give the child to the intended parents after giving birth. Although these women generally don’t allow themselves to get emotionally attached during pregnancy or after delivery, this may still occur throughout the development process. It is still questioned as to why some are different than others, but the possibilities would be due to insufficient screening, lack of emotional support or even a genetic link if the mother participated in a traditional surrogacy. There is also the chance of disagreements between the surrogate mother and intended parents which may cause other issues to take place. Some of these issues could be that the intended family could be overbearing on the surrogate mother with specific things they want her to do, how or where they want her to live and even what to eat while carrying their child. There may be some ethical and moral dilemmas that may occur due to how the families go about finding a woman to carry their baby, and the whole process of surrogacy.
Some of these mothers, child and families may feel a sense of uncertainty, short-term or long-term, due to the process of surrogacy. The intended families may also have a difficult time adjusting the their new normal. As they may be over joyed with being able to bring home a new child and raise it as their own, they may also get a sense of it not truly being theirs. Although the genetic make-up may include their genes and DNA, because they didn’t go through the full experience of having the child they may feel at loss or feel guilt. Not only does surrogacy impact the surrogate mothers and families, but the children as well. If a surrogate mother already has children and she decides to carry a child for another family, the children may be confused by the process. It will also have to be explained to them so they’re not curious as to where the baby goes after it is born, since they may have a hard time with it afterwards. The children who may be involved tend to think and see surrogacy positively and think it is great that their mom is helping someone else out. If an intended family also has other children, they will need to explain to them how they are getting the baby without the mother carrying it. Most children who are born from a surrogate mother are given information on the process starting around age 7 to 10. If they are not given any explanation and later find out, they often question as to why they were not told sooner or at all. Most of the children prefer to be told about it rather than have the information withheld from them. Most children also tend to want to meet their surrogate mother and have her be a part of their life or have some form of contact with her.
There have been several different cases that have arisen due to surrogacy. Because of the psychological attachment with the child, it can lead to the surrogate mother wanting to keep the child making it more problematic and controversial when it comes to who should get custody of them. One of those being the Baby M case in 1986 to 1988 where a surrogate mother who was also biological mother, due to artificial insemination, decided she wanted to keep the baby. She then tried to sue the parents and gain custody of the child. Afterwards, the surrogate mother was awarded visitation with the intended parents still receiving custody. There have been some mothers who don’t have trouble giving up the baby after birth, but in some cases the women have a much harder time which leads to these cases. Another, more recent case was with baby Gammy. This case dealt with twins, where one seemingly had Down syndrome and the intended parents didn’t accept or want the baby because of the disorder. This is a rare case to occur due to the highly motivated soon to be parents that usually take part in surrogacy.
With surrogacy being so controversial, it is not allowed or is illegal in many different countries. Surrogacy is not officially allowed in many European countries, and while there are still some that don’t have any laws stating whether it is or is not okay, some allow non-commercial surrogacy only. Most places don’t allow surrogacy where the women are being reimbursed or compensated for doing it, so with that many US states allow it along with Australia, Canada and New Zealand under those circumstances. In Israel they only allow surrogacy to married couples with a surrogate that is single or divorced. Some of these countries have made surrogacy illegal due to the concern of the women being threatened or forced into being a surrogate or treated unfairly while carrying the child. With some countries and states allowing it and others not, there are many people who will travel to a different location to be able to participate in the surrogacy process.
In my opinion I think surrogacy is very beneficial for those who are unable to conceive or carry a child on their own. I think it does allow the surrogate mother to be at risk with the pregnancy, but it is no different risks than any other pregnancy. I like how it allows those who are infertile, and unable to have a baby, to have a chance to be able to raise a child from the beginning with at least part of their genetic make-up. Before researching this topic, I knew there would be some portion of attachment that occurs between the child and surrogate mother, but never realized some mothers took it as a loss and tried to sue over it after agreeing to the process. While researching I also realized that most of the things that can turn a surrogacy bad turned out to be lower than what I thought. One of those was the attachments to the child, while some had difficulty many actually did not allow attachment to occur. I also found out that it is illegal in some places, which I did not know about because I thought surrogacy was something that was common and able to be done where ever. I found a lot of interesting information throughout writing this paper that I did not know before. I was able to further my knowledge about this topic and get a better understanding of it.