Throughout the semester I have learned many things regarding the elderly that I before did not fully understand. Having been able to also spend time with elderly I have known all my life in addition to this new found knowledge I was able to understand better how to help them. During the semester I often would call my grandparents or my best friend’s mother who all live in New York. I would talk with them about some of the topics cover in class and how they personally felt or were affected. More times than not, their answers surprised me. Some topics covered in discussions between classmates, such as politics, are ones I would talk about with them. Too often political debates between generations turn ugly. The most recent election really showed that in my entire family. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find out and discuss with my grandparent and best friend’s mother that we all shared the same views. When I went home for spring break I spent an afternoon or evening each with my grandmother, Betty; my grandfather, Neal; and my Best friend’s mother, Beth. I helped them with simple tasks around the house and ran errands with them but I also was able to sit down and talk about some of the topics from class. I also helped Beth by assisting her with adjusting to her new wheelchair and we went out to the craft store to buy fabric to make a bag for her to have on the side.
Both of my grandparents, Betty and Neal, have defied many myths and stereotypes that we have talked about in this course. Both Betty and Neal came from low-income families, in fact, Neal does not have a high school diploma! He had to drop out of school at sixteen to help support his family. Both Betty and Neal have struggled in the workforce, I remember when I was little they both lost their jobs fairly soon together. Neal used to work for Kodak Films in Rochester, New York. He worked as an equipment operator for 33 years. In 2012, when Kodak filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy he was let go. Since then, he has worked for the highway department. In the winter he often is called into work at midnight to plow the roads when it snows. Many times I have heard stories of his younger coworkers, often times because he was given a task or extra hours over them. A myth that simply isn’t true is that older workers are less productive than younger workers. Neal knows this to be untrue. I asked him to recall his job at Kodak when he first started. He told me about how the workers that had been there longer often talked down to him and would be very quick to report his mistakes. He worked hard every day and slowly worked his way up to a superior position. Betty worked as a typesetter for 15 years at Tri-County Advertiser. She too left this job due to bankruptcy. After looking for a job for two years she got a data entry job at an American Red Cross Center. During her job search, she often would be told they were looking for someone that could “grow with the company” and that she wasn’t the best fit. Betty took this information to mean that she was too old to get a job. However, once she started working at American Red Cross she too would tell me about younger coworkers that were problematic. After working there for just a little over a year she was given a supervisor position. Betty was offered this position over some employees that were younger than her but had been there a few months longer. Both Betty and Neal have worked extremely hard and understand that society has mixed feelings about elderly in the workforce. Betty and Neal support my younger siblings and aren’t able to retire as a retirement income is not enough to sustain them.
Neither Betty, Neal, or Beth live in a nursing home. Beth does, however, have nurses that come to her house three times a day, six days a week. Beth suffers from Primary Progressive Multiple sclerosis. She was diagnosed in 2012 after undergoing tests for two years prior. She requires help from nurses daily. While spending time with her I helped take her to doctor appointments, got groceries, helped her in and out of her wheelchair when she wanted. It’s a very exhausting disease for her as well as her caregivers. I remember when I was younger she was very active and often I would come along on family camping trips. I look up to her as my own mother in many ways. Seeing how this disease has affected her over the years is very hard at times. She no longer can pour herself a glass of juice, or cook large family meals she once used to do every week.
Throughout life, we age. From the moment we are born we begin aging. Often I feel the elderly forget they have aged to where they are now. I hear Neal say things like “I’m too old to do that now” and laugh when he tries to wrestle with my little brother. I’ve also heard Betty and Beth both say “I’m losing my marbles” when they misplace their keys or the remote for the TV. I often am told by all three of them to enjoy my youth while I still have it, which is funny because even at 20 I feel like I don’t have enough time to graduate, get a job, start a family, and retire. There is a history of heart attacks, stroke, and Alzheimer's in both Neal and Betty’s family. As people age more concern is taken regarding health issues like these. Sometimes it’s a joke when Neal forgets something from earlier that day and says “ah, it’s the dementia settling in.” Beth however already has a serious disease that she struggles to manage the symptoms of. Being diagnosed with Secondary Progressive Multiple sclerosis, her neurologic function worsens as well. For the first two years of testing, she was thought to just have Relapsing-remitting Multiple sclerosis, which was difficult during relapse periods but she was still able to be pretty independent. Beth, unfortunately, did not go into remission in 2012. Diagnosing her with Secondary Progressive Multiple sclerosis. It was very difficult for her because she knew her independence would slowly be less and less. She loves to watch jeopardy and almost always knows the correct answers when the contestants don’t. But in the past few months, she has noticed her memory isn’t what it used to be, and not just in a way from growing old. Beth was in need of getting a motorized wheelchair and reluctantly agreed to one in March. She has three different nurses that come throughout the day. They help her with house cleaning, meal prep, and hygiene needs she can’t do herself. The nurses are extremely patient and nice. They have been Beth’s nurses for a few years now and have sort of become part of the family.
My service learning was only done with family members, because of my work and class schedule I wasn’t able to work with a large number of individuals. I plan on volunteering in the future at a nursing home or senior center to be around a more diverse group of elderly. I hope being exposed to a more diverse group of elderly individuals will help me to further apply my knowledge from this course to issues they face every day.
I am extremely proud to know all three of them. The constant hard work and dedication put in by Betty and Neal to support their family is inspiring to me. To see how Beth handles her diagnosis and how she always manages to smile despite her constant battle with her disease is humbling. I hope I age with half as much grace and ambition as they have.
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