Dylan’s Secret
Dylan Williams is just a normal 17 year old teenager living in sunny South Florida. He is loved by his friends, family, and everyone he meets. But he hides a secret not a physical one, but one that lurks in his mind. He suffers from schizophrenia, a relatively common disorder that is mainly found in Dylan’s age group. He was diagnosed a little over 4 years ago at a relatively young age for this disorder, but it showed prevalent signs in his young mind. It was his own prerogative that he found out what was wrong with him. He knew something wasn’t right and he knew he needed help. That's when he asked his mom to take him to the doctor. As he sat waiting in the exam room with his mom he knew that his dad who had since left him and his mom, had schizophrenia along with severe panic disorder. So he knew it could probably be one of the two. As the doctor went over his medical history with him, the doctor keyed in on two key factors. The doctor explained to Dylan that these risk factors contribute a major part to his diagnosis. The doctor said that Dylan was at a heightened risk because his father was schizophrenic and during his time inside the womb his mother had contracted the flu. When his mom contracted the flu , trauma occurred in Dylan’s body. This is known as birth trauma and it as well contributes itself as a risk factor to schizophrenia. The doctor also keyed into some symptoms like impulsive behavior based on voices telling Dylan what to do and depression he has suffered when he had finally gone to middle school. The doctor knew this was pretty serious and knew it wasn’t just another case of a depressed teen that walked into his office. He sat Dylan and his mom down and told them that he was concerned that Dylan had schizophrenia. He then prescribed Dylan some antidepressants to try and get rid of the depression that Dylan was suffering on a regular basis. After about a month and a half Dylan stopped taking them and threw the rest of them out. He did not like the the way they dulled him down. He loved the fact that he wasn't sad, but he didn't like that it wasnt who he wanted to be. He noticed as time went on the voices began getting louder and more aggressive. He knew that this wasn't the way that he wanted to live his life. So he began to draw and write. This was a way for him to express the emotions that the voices were telling him in his head, but in a much less violent manner. But he found himself away from his family a lot more. Although the violent tendencies were starting to go away. He found himself drifting away trying to find ways to get rid of the voices in his head. He would listen to music for hours on end and waited for the times he would fall asleep from exhaustion. Again he realized this was not the way to live his life. So he decided that he would try his hardest to keep the voices away while still be social with friends and family. He finally came to the conclusion that it makes him unique and that he should hate himself for having a disorder, but embrace the good times he would have. Although some bad days are sprinkled in here and there. He will never stop trying to live life the way it was supposed to be. He always tells people that they aren't freaks that they are just people and people should love them for who they are.
Interview Questions
How long ago were you diagnosed?
I was diagnosed about 4 years ago with schizophrenia.
Was getting diagnosed with schizophrenia hard on you?
It wasn’t a big shocker that it happened. I always knew something was off and so did my friends and family. So it wasn’t like gasp a surprise.
What’s your average bad day like?
Im usually really drowsy to the point where I am almost late for class. I take the bus in the morning, so I try to avoid people as much as possible because it makes me anxious to be on the bus. Focusing in class is also really hard as when I am trying to think I get the bad thoughts, so I panic a little. But in order to be able to relax I find doing things that keep me occupied like playing games on my computer or listening to music help the bad thoughts go away.
How do you escape the condition?
As cliche as it sounds you can never escape the way you feel. Its jsut you have to find ways to occupy yourself so you don’t let those thoughts into your head.
What do the voices sound like?
Its very weird because it is my voice. Its not like in the movies where a random voice in their head is telling them to do something. Its actually my own voice with other personality traits. And it never stops.
What do they tell you to do?
It tells me to do every negative action you can think of. Going from violent ways to things that are unacceptable by society’s standards. It basically is all the stuff that would make me a weirdo in a crowd.
What is the worst thing that you have done?
I mean it not really about the worst thing that I have done. The hardest part about have this disorder is not listening to the voices, but find a way to deal with it. Thats the worst part of it.
How does it affect your life?
It basically takes any happy moment and turns it into something really negative, so like I make myself happy by doing something or making someone proud. I constantly am plagued by these negative thoughts that I don't deserve what I got and stuff along those lines.
What does your future look like with this disorder?
Im looking for hope. Its never gonna end and I know that, but I have to find a way to deal with the symptoms and all that goes along with it. I eventually want to grow up to be successful. And half the battle is learning how to cope with the disorder?
If you could tell the world one thing what would it be?
Just because we have mental disorders we are not freaks, we are humans just like everyone else. I just wish everyone would treat everyone the same.