Loss along with grief is felt inevitably by everyone, yet not everyone deals with it in the same manner. It is a natural part of life that almost everyone will go through. Death is one of the biggest loss- related events, but there are several others that can also have a negative impact on someone’s life by affecting them in different ways. The common stages of grief that people go through are anger, denial, and isolation. The article, Letting Go of My Father by Jonathan Rauch, introduces the idea that no one should have to cope with loss and grief alone. The writer talks about how he struggled as his father’s life came to an end. The second article, A Grief Like No Other by Eric Schlosser, introduces the idea of people creating support groups to help eachother. Schlosser explains how those with similar problems can only help each other in these situations. The novel, Hamlet by William Shakespeare, shows how grief is dealt with throughout the story, and that no one knows how to deal with it in a way that would help. Coping witb grief and loss may be one of the hardest challenges that human beings face, but everyone responds differently and has their own ways of moving past these obstacles.
Any major loss in our lives can simply cause grief and people can feel a variety of emotions about their loss. A person will go through a range of emotions after the death of a loved one, in which reactions such as shame, denial, anger towards either life or others, and/or depression can be triggered. Rauch explains how we, Americans, do not like to put our problems out in the open. “By keeping the problem out of sight and consigning it to the realm of the ‘personal,’ the culture enables our natural tendencies toward denial, procrastination, and silence” (Rauch). He also explains how at one point he was “ripe for post-traumatic stress syndrome or anxiety disorder or depression”, but he managed to keep it together and cope with it. In Hamlet, the main character Hamlet is seen going through a roller coaster of emotions when both his father dies and he finds out who the killer is. He starts off in deep state of denial, which quickly turns to anger and revenge. As for his mother, Gertrude, she is trapped in a state of denial after finding out her daughter in law has passed away. Although it is a fiction story, it helps to show the different emotions people experience atfer a loss. Schlosser talks about how individuals develop PTSD and go through that trauma again and again. “They swing between vivid, almost lifelike re-creations of the trauma and total denial of it” (Schlosser). Anyone going through this kind of trauma will easily refuse to believe that it actually happened, because although it may be the easiest way to cope with the situation, it can be the worst way. Of course almost everyone will experience these emotions, because it is completely normal.
The change caused by major losses can leave one feeling more isolated than they are used to. Several reasons factor into why someone would want to be left alone when in a deep state of grief. For many people, isolating themselves could be a phase, or could be a permanent and negative change in their lives. Schlosser tells us about a nurse, Harriet, who wasn’t okay with the idea of patients dying alone, so she would be around death all the time. One may think that she was trained to be around death, but “whenever Harriett felt the grief become unbearable, she would lock herself in the bathroom and weep”, isolating herself. In Hamlet, we notice at the very beginning how Hamlet isolates himself after finding out about his father’s death. For example, he isolates himself from his love Ophelia, and his respect and emotions for her. He pushes himself away from his mother and Claudius, in order to think, because he needs his space. In this case, Hamlet’s state isolation is more of a phase than a permanent feeling, because soon after he resorts to vengeance. In another article, Rauch was set on the fact that “there should be no need for anyone to go through this alone, and no glory in trying”. He knew that anyone going through any kind of trauma should not be left alone and should not even try to be alone, because no one deserves that.
After going through all those emotions, it is time to talk about it. Now, there is no correct way of dealing with loss and grief, but talking about one’s feelings is definitely a big step that people take to get through this struggle. Communication, and even being a good listener, is a key factor to helping those coping with loss and grief. Some people may feel that talking to someone going through the same thing, or even counseling, is a bizarre idea because why would you spill your emotions and feelings to a complete stranger? That completely makes sense… whereas others feel that they need to talk to strangers, or even people they know, to connect and just ‘let it all out’. Hamlet may isolate himself, and express lots of anger, but he too talks about his feelings. He may not do it in the calmest and simplest manner, but he talks about it through puns and run-on sentences while talking to Ophelia. After dealing with a loss of his own, Rauch points out that no one should be alone in this battle; people need to talk about what they are going through. “Millions of middle-aged Americans, he discovered, are silently struggling to cope with a crisis that needs to be plucked from the realm of the personal and brought into full public view” (Rauch). He comes to this realization after the decline of his father. As for Schlosser, he reiterates the idea that support groups are the answer. His idea is that people who are grieving have to talk to others who are grieving, because no one outside that ‘group’ will be able to comfort them the way that people feeling the same way can. “These grieving parents immediately felt a close connection. They could easily express and understand feelings that were considered awkward or inappropriate or disturbing by the rest of society” (Schlosser). He explains how people reacted to these support groups and specifically how it helped. “Hearing that others felt the same way relieved the sense of isolation” (Schlosser). Of course there are other ways —other than talking it out— that can help just as much, but communication can be very helpful.
Moving on from a loss is not that easy. Many will say that it takes forever to get on and proceed with their lives, but that is not true. With patience and time, individuals become stronger and capable of the past. Individuals can face what actually happened and find their way back into their life, in order to move on into the future. The feeling of emptiness may never go away, but one can still move on and accept the loss. Schlosser argues that “children suffer perhaps the most of all”. “Burrell says it is a myth that children bounce back after a tragedy—a sign of wishful thinking among adults” (Schlosser). He believes that children are too young to experience loss and it really can mess them up. In Hamlet, we never really see if any of the characters accept any losses. Every main character is dead by the end of the story, so we never get to see how they move on from the death of their loved ones. Rauch tells us how his father “wanted him to go on with his life rather than hover by his bedside” and after his father passed away he did “go on, but emerged from the whole experience not a little indignant.” Rauch knows what has happened is now a matter of the past and he can move forward.
Everyone has a different approach to loss and grief, but the common stages that people go through are anger, denial, and isolation. Hamlet, A Grief Like No Other, and Letting Go of My Father have all showed us the different stages and examples of grief and how people continue with life. Even though there are some typical signs of loss and grief, there is no definitive path that each person has to follow and the whole process is very unique and different to each person. It is an unpleasant process that anyone could overcome with enough help. To sum it up, no one should have to deal with it alone, and talking about it can almost always help with overcoming the struggle.