Essay: Unrequited Love, Underlying Tensions: Mr and Mrs Ramsay’s Summer House Drama

The first half of the book takes place in the Ramsay’s summer house. Here, Mr. Ramsay (a philosopher), Mrs. Ramsay (a stay-at-home mom), their eight children, Lily Briscoe (an unmarried painter), William Bankes, Charles Tansley, Paul Rayley, and Minta Doyle are all spending their summer together. In the very beginning, Mr. Ramsay’s youngest son, James, asks if they can go visit the lighthouse just across the bay. Mr. Ramsay declines, citing poor weather as a concern. This causes James to strongly resent his father, and the uncertain topic of the visit to the lighthouse lingers for the rest of the book, creating an underlying tension.
Mrs. Ramsay runs some errands in town, and invites Charles Tansley to tag along. During their trip, he takes notice of her encapsulating beauty, that, despite her age, makes him feel proud to just be in her company. She endows him with the honour of getting to carry her handbag, and he gratefully takes the opportunity. On their way back, they encounter Mr. Carmichael, who makes an appearance later on.
Later, Mr. Ramsay walks along the beach, pondering his intellectual shortcomings. He acknowledges that he’s smarter than most but wonders if it’s good enough. He fears he’ll never be able to get past “Q”, a metaphoric academic barrier signifying the next echelon of intellectual vitality that he so strongly yearns to join. As he does this, he watches Mrs. Ramsay read story books to James on the front porch. He eventually approaches the two, and James once again asks if a trip to the lighthouse might be possible. In an effort to console the young boy, Mrs. Ramsay responds that it might be possible.
Angry at the seemingly dismissive nature of her claim, Mr. Ramsay quickly snaps that it would not be possible. Mrs. Ramsay scolds him in her head, thinking him odious for needlessly disappointing her son. She then thinks about how, despite his emotional shortcomings, she has the utmost respect for him. James’ resentment for his father only grows stronger, as he thinks about just how emotionally draining his father is to his mother, always needing validation, and always being ignorant to the emotions of those around him.
Meanwhile, Lily Briscoe sits afar, watching the interactions as she paints the scene. She is insecure about her work, and is extremely anxious to let anyone see it, with an exception for William Bankes. From previous encounters at similar gatherings, they have built a mutual alliance of comfort amongst one another. They decide to go for a walk together after Mr. Ramsay comes nearby, muttering to himself “Someone had blundered.”
Looking out at the water, Mr. Bankes reflects on his friendship with Mr. Ramsay, and the state of perilous monotony the two have found themselves in. Mr. Bankes also reflects on Mr. Ramsay’s career. He reckons that Mr. Ramsay would have contributed far more to philosophy had he been childless. Lily considers her admiration for Mr. Ramsay’s work, but decides she finds him vain, and thinks Mr. Bankes a better man.
Watching Lily and Mr. Bankes walk together, Mrs. Ramsay concludes they should get married. She uses James as a mannequin while she knits clothes for the boy who lives at the lighthouse. She takes this time to think about the poor state their summer house has found itself in, but ultimately shrugs it off. The narrator then switches to the different lenses through which each character views Mrs. Ramsay’s beauty. Though there are conflicting opinions, all are unanimous in thinking that she is not aware of her own beauty, nor of its effects.
Mr. Carmichael walks by as he is entering the house, and ignores Mrs. Ramsay’s greetings. She is acutely aware of his dislike towards her, brought on by his controlling wife, who also dislikes Mrs. Ramsay. It stings, the rejection, and she considers the self serving nature of her need to be liked.
Mr. Ramsay continues his walk, and stops in front of the house. Once again, his mind is confronted with thoughts of his place in the world and the superfluous nature of existence. He reflects on Shakespeare, and how even small contributions to the world can persist as long as the contributions of Shakespeare. Mr. Ramsay turns to the layman in him, and attempts to downplay the importance of someone like Shakespeare. All this is an attempt at saving his pride in the face of insecurity, and Lily Briscoe and Mr. Bankes realize this immediately. Lily offers that the contrast between what preoccupies his mind, and the simplicity of domestic life must be strenuous.
Lily begins to feel once again insecure about her art, as her thoughts drift to the time Charles Tansley told her that as a woman, she would never be a successful painter. She thinks about the time Mrs. Ramsay told her that she was missing out on certain joys of life being unmarried, and reconfirms that she doesn’t want to marry. After getting back to where Lily had been painting, she lets Mr. Bankes look at her work. He analyzes it, and poses non-judgemental questions. She had drawn a dark purple triangle on one side of the painting, and Mr. Bankes wonders what it symbolizes. She explains that it was Mrs. Ramsay reading to James. Lily realizes she has no means of connecting the contrasting light, shadows, and triangle. This issue eats at her.
Cam, Mr. and Mrs. Ramsay’s tomboy-ish daughter, zooms by, nearly knocking over the easel. Mrs. Ramsay sends her off to ask the maid if Paul Rayley and Minta Doyle had yet returned from their walk, as it was getting late. When she returns and informs her mother that they had not, Mrs. Ramsay suspects that Paul had proposed, and Minta had accepted, as it would be otherwise inappropriate for them to be out together for this long. James asks Mrs. Ramsay to go back to reading him stories, and her thoughts are preoccupied with Paul and Minta. She thinks about marriage as an institution, and fears that she had pushed Paul too hard into it.
Looking at James, she laments that he will never again be as happy as he is now; doomed for a life of adulthood. She thinks about the constant standoff she has with life: her on one side, life on the other, both always trying to get the best of the other. Mr. Ramsay criticizes her for being so gloomy. As self deprecating as he is, it occurs to Mrs. Ramsay that her husband is happier than her. Her maid comes by to take James to bed, and as he goes, he asks one last time if they would be going to the lighthouse the next day. Shattering his hopes, she finally strikes the idea down, leaving no room for doubt, nay, no room for hope. She fears that James will never forget this, casting a blight upon his psyche.
She continues to muse about her life as she stares out the window. An overwhelming expression of sadness plants itself upon her face. Mr. Ramsay notices it as he passes by the house, still walking, and feels disheartened by it. Mrs. Ramsay reflects on all the happiness in her life, and decides that it is enough for her. Mr. Ramsay comes inside, and although he wants to protect her, he dares not disturb her. Mrs. Ramsay notices his goodwill, and asks to go for a walk together, as a gesture of love.
They stroll off into the night, arm in arm, discussing their kids and other aspects of their lives. On their way back, Mrs. Ramsay realizes that her husband does not appreciate the simple pleasures of life. She goes to point out a star she finds beautiful, but hesitates, predicting it would just make Mr. Ramsay sad. They run into Lily walking alongside Mr. Bankes, and once again Mrs. Ramsay decides the two should get married.
Mr. Bankes was in the middle of reminiscing about his time in Europe, and the famous paintings he’s seen. Lily realizes that there were lots of wonderful paintings she had yet to see, but comforts herself by saying that seeing such amazing paintings would only make one hopelessly discontent with their own work. She then notices Mr. and Mrs. Ramsay walking together, and decides that one ephemeral moment was the very essence of marriage. The two groups convene shortly, and Mr. Ramsay heads off to his study.
Meanwhile, Nancy, Paul, Minta, and Andrew are off on the beach relaxing. They decide to pack things up and return, as it was beginning to get late. Nancy catches Paul and Minta kissing behind a rock, and is angry. Minta suddenly realizes she lost her grandmother’s brooch, and becomes distraught. They form a search party, but alas could not find it. They embark on their return, defeated. Paul secretly vows to return the next day and find her brooch.
They arrive just in time for dinner, where an increasingly anxious Mrs. Ramsay had been awaiting their arrival. For, if they had been late, the food would have found itself cold. Mrs. Ramsay takes her place at the head of the table, and can’t help but feel sad. She looks out towards the table, and senses the isolation and the troubles of her guests. She pities Mr. Bankes, and so does Lily. Lily suddenly comes to the realization that she would place a tree in the centre of her painting to tie everything together. She feels an overwhelming sense of joy and excitement, and basks in it all night long. Mrs. Ramsay dutifully plays her part as hostess of the dinner, making sure everyone is included in conversation, and steering talks away from politics over to poetry. Lily notices how uncomfortable Charles Tansley is, and thinks it her obligation as a woman to comfort him, just as he would save her from a fire.
Once dinner is over, Mrs. Ramsay finally excuses herself from the table. Everyone goes back to talking about politics, and the peaceful mood that Mrs. Ramsay had worked so hard to maintain quickly disintegrates. But Mrs. Ramsay is not upset. Instead, she finds herself delighted, savouring the happy moments they had all just shared.