Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet is considered a great, timeless love story, however, it actually explores the impulsive actions of a misguided teenager and kills six people in the process. The star-crossed lovers were so obsessed with the idea of each other to simply escape from their current situation that they went through drastic measures resulting in their demise. When observed carefully, Romeo and Juliet is suffused with imagery of infatuation instead of love.
Love and infatuation can easily be confused because they both involve extreme passion and devotion towards another person. As the brilliant Dr. Jamie Paris describes the philosophy of love as follows: “Love is when you care about the other individual not as a means to an end but a means in themselves.” In other words, there’s a difference between getting the other person to do work for you,whether that’s escaping your problems or rebuilding your ego after being rejected, and caring for the other person without regard as to what they can do for you. When you truly love someone, you want to see them flourish and be their best, whereas, infatuation is the attraction towards someone’s physicality or appearance. When one is infatuated with someone, they want to be with them all the time. If Romeo were in love with Juliet, he would have allowed her to have her own personal space for their love to develop and become stronger. This immature relationship is shallow as it focuses mainly on appearance. Moreover, when one is infatuated, they are blind to the other person’s mistakes, bad habits and weaknesses. Juliet didn’t want Romeo to keep his name which is the equivalent of denouncing his family and she didn’t even want to be mad at Romeo for killing her cousin, Tybalt. Romeo and Juliet believed that they were in love because they loved the idea of running away from their problems. Romeo and Juliet’s unfortunate ending is based on their immature actions for infatuation and the counsel they received.
1Corintians 13:4-7
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous. It does not brag, does not get puffed up, 5
does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked.
It does not keep account of the injury. 6 It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but
rejoices with the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all
Things. [how to cite this?]
Romeo’s passionate nature blinds him to not fall in love but to fall under great infatuation. His hasty and misguided relationship with Juliet proves that they are not in love. Young Romeo is idealizing Juliet nonetheless he is not appreciating her as an individual. Romeo’s words become more eloquent and poetic as the play progresses but this does not mean that his love for Juliet must be true. This only suggests that he has fine-tuned his flowery and empty words. When he describes Juliet, he says nothing of Juliet’s personality, but merely what his eye sees rather than his heart. When Romeo confesses to Friar Lawrence that he’s in love with Juliet, Lawrence responds with, “Young men’s love then lies not truly in their hearts, but in their eyes (89).
There was no sense of privacy. Romeo stalks her at her balcony after climbing over the orchard wall on private property. They both are pulled away from friends and family. Relationships not only involve the individuals in love but also involve the family. When Juliet wants Romeo to dismiss his name, she is essentially asking him to reject his family history and who he is. Juliet also has no consideration for her own family. Her father is up all night preparing for her wedding to marry Paris the next day and Juliet drinks a coma potion for her parents to think she’s dead in the morning. Moreover, Romeo would rather die than never see Juliet. If Romeo truly loved Juliet, he could have just let her go and moved on with life. They also never talked about their future together.
The only reason why Romeo is with Juliet is because, unlike Rosaline, she reciprocates his love. “Her I love now Doth grace for grace and love for love allow. The other did not so (89)”. Romeo is not truly in love with Juliet. Juliet is acting as a replacement for Rosaline. On the other hand, Juliet is also not in love with Romeo as she is just avoiding marrying Paris. Because Juliet did not want to marry Paris, she is highly influenced to have feelings towards Romeo. Erich Fromm, a social psychologist expresses, “Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you.’” Romeo and Juliet both need each other to escape from their situation. They both don’t care about the number of rules they break, or denouncing their names, as long as they can be with each other. They may take drastic measures from defying their parents and friends to committing suicide. Analogically, a child’s faith grows and changes over time, likewise, what Romeo and Juliet are experiencing is immature love.
We may believe that Romeo convinced himself that he loved Juliet, but the people he has surrounded himself with had a great influence on his actions. For instance, Romeo’s friends encourage him to look for someone else at the Capulet party to get over Rosaline. After Romeo confesses his love to Juliet at her balcony, he immediately goes to Friar Laurence who urges him to go “Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast.” [insert citation] At the wedding the friar says:
These violent delights have violent ends,
And in their triumph die like fire and powder,
Which as they kiss consume. The sweetest honey
Is loathsome in his own deliciousness,
And in the taste confounds the appetite.”
Therefore love moderately: long love doth so;
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.
(Shakespeare 2.5. 9-15)
Father Laurence tries to act as a therapist. Just as gun powder reacts to fire, the friar describes Romeo and Juliet’s passion as a burst of emotions. Their unhealthy relationship is described
He recommends Romeo to not rush into this relationship with Juliet yet he marries them. There is a strong relationship between love and marriage. The reason why the Catholic church requires couples to go through a marriage preparation course is so the couple can take time to consider all the variables they will face in their future together including their finances and continuing the faith with their children which constitutes a life of faith and doing God’s will. According to the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Vancouver, marriage preparation, “is a tool used to help couples identify, discuss and work through important relationship issues before they get married.” This begs the question: why did the friar wed the couple hastily?
The fact that the friar went forward with the marriage shows that he favoured his own fame over his claimed fondness of Romeo and even his vocation as a friar. He was selfish and wanted to protect himself. This opposes the values of a good cleric.
In the Stratford performance, Friar Lawrence is seen going down into what is referred to as the ‘hell mouth’ which was used to refer to any trap-door in the bottom of a stage. The holy figure is coming up from hell, ascending from below to deliver the coma potion to Juliet. This shows that even the friar has vices.
Shakespeare shows the power of love and its consequences. Love is surprising, shocking, chaotic, and beautiful. As many see that Romeo and Juliet demonstrates the consequences of love, I suggest this play exemplifies what immature love can make us do. Their immature love led to their downfall, but true love really is about acceptance, truth, vulnerability, and care. This love wasn’t clear to the couple as they were merely basing their love on physical appearances. It shouldbe questioned: Does anyone in the play understand love? The answer lies in the failure of the parents to understand each others’ differences.
This is significant in our society with people, especially seen in youth, dealing with issues, but the bad counsel from individuals who typically would give them good advice direct these individuals down the wrong path. The authoritative figures in our life may not always have the right answer. After all, we are human.We all make mistakes. The play ends with Romeo and Juliet taking their own life and show the larger implications of infatuation. The friar is wrong for not stopping Romeo from making a huge mistake. This shows that the Friar didn’t care about Romeo or anyone as a matter of fact. While Romeo and Juliet were in love with the idea that they could escape their problems, the friar was in love with the idea that he could end the feud between the Montagues and Capulets.