Essay: Tommy John surgery: Athletes Aren’t Invincible

I lay amongst a group of medical professionals on a cold, rigid metal table, frightened, knowing that I am about to undergo Tommy John surgery. My heart is pacing as the anesthesiologist tries to comfort me and he pushes the medicine through my veins so that I will drift off into a deep slumber. At first I feel a warm fuzziness, almost as if the firm table had turned into a warm blanket, and I am sinking into a comfortable peace, but then everything goes dark. As I lay there unconscious, my surgeon’s steady hands, reconstructs my damaged elbow.
Tommy John surgery is a reconstruction of the Ulnar Collateral Ligament, or UCL, which is found in the elbow. The surgery is performed on all types of athletes, but is most common in baseball players because the tear of that ligament is almost always is caused from a throwing overhead motion. This surgery requires a new tendon from either your forearm, your hamstring, or from a donor. Some may be asking, “Why is the surgery called Tommy John?” The name is derived from the first baseball player to ever have the surgery, Tommy John. This man was the first to have a successful surgery and return to play. This story illustrates that athletes who undergo an injury as serious as Tommy John stay affected both physically and mentally. Tommy John surgery is a challenging surgery to any athlete, it affects self-esteem, athletic ability, but it also makes an athlete recognize how strong they are.
Tommy John surgery tremendously affects athlete’s self esteem. Athletes from all sports define themselves through their sport, and when that is taken away, that loss of identity kills their confidence. When I was out on recovery, I felt like I had nothing going for me because I couldn’t cheer. Dedicated athletes take pride in their successes and feel accomplished when they excel, especially when your sport is highly competitive. When being injured, you miss out on all of those feelings that give yourself that dignity and self-regard. When someone has Tommy John surgery, they can expect to be out for at least six to nine months. That wipes out an entire season, possibly even two. This makes this particular injury extremely challenging because being out for that extended period of time with no physical activity is can be a major setback in your athletic progress that you have accomplished in order to excel in your sport. This absence of activity and confidence creates a lot of psychological pain.
During my experience of recovery, I went through an identity crisis. I didn’t know who I was without cheer, because I had built my whole life around it. Being in constant pain and watching all of your friends continue to love cheer without you is heartbreaking. I felt like I felt extreme isolation because I wasn’t ever on the mat with my teammates. Not being able to compete with my teammates made my bond with my teams weaker. I remember spending countless nights crying, wondering when I was going to be able to touch my fingers to my shoulder again without an indescribable amount of pain. That is one thing I do not take for granted anymore. I had regressed from spending twenty plus hours of rigorous practice a week to not even being able to throw a ball. It was definitely a frustrating, yet humbling experience.
As one could imagine, going through this surgery puts you through an immense amount of physical pain as well. When performing the surgery, they typically don’t do a nerve block if your ulnar nerve is damaged (which mine was) because they want to make sure that the newly routed nerve is functioning properly. Without having a nerve block, you can feel everything that they did to you while you were under anesthesia. To give an idea on how bad this hurts, to perform the surgery, they must follow extensive steps. First they make about a four inch incision on the inner portion of your elbow. Next, they pull through muscle to get to the depths of your elbow, where they find the Ulnar Collateral Ligament. To continue, they graft your tendon from your forearm to replace your torn UCL. To do this, they make an incision at your wrist and simply slide it out. As the surgery goes on, they insert your new ligament and tie it down with a thick thread and make continuous knots with the thread to ensure the ligament stays. Finally, they hammer screws in to anchor down your new ligament and reroute you Ulnar nerve if needed. The next day you are expected to arrive at your first physical therapy appointment. As recovery continued, months passed and I still couldn’t lock my elbow or touch my shoulder. It was hard for me to understand how this surgery was helping me. It felt like my elbow was never going to work again. Luckily, this surgery has a high success rate.
Even though the surgery has a promise to return to sports, there is also a slim chance that players could have to have Tommy John surgery again. Studies from the American Sports Medicine Institute found that 19% of players will have to undergo the surgery again. If you are among this unfortunate population, your chances of returning back to your sport are slimmer, and rehab takes even longer. Tommy John surgery is becoming more common in all sports. This injury is thought to be strictly for baseball pitchers, but in reality, it can happen to anyone. When I was told I was going to have the surgery, my doctor asked, “What sport do you play?” and I responded with, “I am a cheerleader.” The doctor looked at me, stunned, wandering why he had been seeing more cheerleaders with this injury that is thought to only happen to pitchers. The doctor told me that before this year he had never seen a cheerleader with this injury, but now I am his third within the past six months. Unfortunately, this injury is getting more common but as competitive sports progress, that is the reality that athletes have to face.
Although this surgery was quite extensive and painful, recovering and returning to play made me realize how strong I am. I’m sure it does the same for all athletes. Bad days taught me to see the good, and that they couldn’t last forever. Even though the process was lengthy and every appointment seemed to be never ending, the light at the end of the tunnel did come and I was finally cleared. I left the doctor that day feeling on top of the world. All of the agony I went through was so worth it when the doctor looked at me and said, “Congratulations you are cleared.” This injury built my character in many ways. While sitting alongside my coaches, I learned great leadership qualities and helped all of my peers get through the tough practices. I also now understand my pain limits and when to know that it is time to go to the doctor. One main thing that sets Tommy John surgery apart from others is that you have to go through the worst to see results.
In conclusion, Tommy John surgery is one of the most challenging surgeries to have because of the terrible recovery process, and the pain that it gives to all patients. Although this surgery is very successful, the return to play process is difficult. The difficult journey of recovery is worth it when you are finally released. Athletes are not invincible, and even the most elite can become injured. Believing in yourself is ultimately what it takes to get back on the mat once your recovery is complete.