Self-leadership is the process of influencing and motivating ourselves, through cognitive processes and behavioural strategies, to create self-direction, perform efficiently and achieve set goals (Neck and Manz, 1996, p.445). An opportunity to demonstrate self-leadership was a major change, when in 2010, after I had lived in the UK for 7 years, I moved to Denmark to live with my Danish partner. This involved taking emotional, financial and professional risks. In doing so, I assumed that we both had considered our own options carefully and that it was a common project. Relationships and family have been very important to me. I expected, based on my previous experience, an emotionally-rewarding relationship, cultural fatigue (Roces et al, 2016, p.12), a hard-working transition lasting 2-3 years, after which I could speak fluently Danish, have full-time employment and aim towards higher-education.
As Weick et al.(p.409, 2005) suggests, sensemaking uses our previous experiences to help us gain a reasonable understanding of present circumstances. Living in the UK, I cued out factors, such as family and friends’ support, language classes and employment, which gave me a sense of purpose, satisfaction and accelerated my integration in society. However, in Denmark, there was a very competitive job-market with highly-skilled applicants and my lack of knowledge of the language generated additional pressure. Thus, sensemaking is a continuous and circular process, as I constantly learnt to adapt to these new circumstances and react on the positive or negative outcomes, progressing into a deeper and wider understanding of my surroundings.
My self-leadership involved holding myself accountable for my professional development. I designed a 3-years progression-plan, starting with enrolling in Danish language classes and gaining employment. As I learnt during management training, I set out specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely goals. This helped structure my efforts and review progress. Grey (1994, p.482) argues that the self is actively constructed by the individual through a process of self-labour. However, Grey ignores external factors affecting self-development, in my case- financial constraints, as I had no financial means of supporting myself, had I enrolled in a university course. This was achieved 5 years later, and this goal related to my deeper-sense of purpose and societal expectations.
Self-reflection on past-experience taught me that it is easier to learn a language and internalise new cultural norms, when one feels affinity with that. I abhorred the difficulty of the language in the beginning, therefore, I used natural reward strategies- I capitalised on the sense of achievement when I passed exams or been challenged to converse at a higher level in Danish. Also, passing by kindergarten was part of my reward strategies, as I enjoyed talking to children. I also used constructive thought strategies, in form of visualisations and hypnotism recordings, until my inner-narrative was in Danish, even while dreaming. These strategies changed how I perceived the language and I started loving its complexity, (D’Intino et al., 2007, p. 106).
Weick et al. (2005, p.412) argues that sensemaking is socially constructed. How I interpreted my experiences and prospects, was heavily influenced by my social surroundings. Danish employers seemed more concerned with applicant’s soft-skills, such as confidence, self-motivation, interpersonal relations, than technical ability. While in the UK, there is a strict hierarchy regarding decision-making, in Denmark there is high autonomy and personal accountability. Professional and personal support helped me choose better job-related strategies and internalise new social values and norms. Working for a recruitment agency involved covering short-notice, short-term staffing problems in several businesses, thus applying for vacancies at 6:30 a.m. on week-days, as we were often called on the day, and learning to perform effectively in a variety of professional environments. Constructive feedback improved my performance, thus increasingly meeting employer expectations with minimum training and adapting rapidly to new demands. Positive feedback and renewed custom acted as a self-leadership behavioural strategy, increasing my self-motivation and keeping me focused, while allowing me to develop professional relationships and understanding Danish work-culture (Zehndorfer, 2014, p.265).
As Weick et al. (2005, p.416) suggest, how we interpret reality is largely due to our own values and norms, to our own identity. As an international couple, our understanding of the surrounding and expectations in life were rooted in very different backgrounds. While different interpretations of the same event enriched our sensemaking, they could also create dichotomy with own norms and identity, if they did not align with own values.
My identity as a woman was based on my mother’s image as a traditional care-giver, rather than autonomous and equalitarian- which were an integral part of Danish values. As Brown et al.(2015, p.11) suggests, sensemaking and identity are interactive, my identity changed, due to environment, through sensemaking. However, these changes were not obvious to me at the time, but later, when I gained a different perspective on events. Also, as Weick et al., (2005, p.412) suggest, as an international couple sensemaking was a collaborative process. By discussing, rationalising our own experiences, we could better understand each other and we could provide each other with moral and practical support, for example, reviewing job applications or dealing with work-related stress.
Cunliffe and Coupland (2012, p.) argue that sensemaking is not just a cognitive process, but it is organic, involving our senses and emotions. Expatriation can have an overwhelming effect on the psyche, deeply affecting our sensemaking. As time passed, an intense feeling of not belonging started to take place and a new perspective, that I needed emotionally closer social relationships than were permitted by the Danish culture, thus my decision I made 2 years before felt out of context with where I was in 2012. As (Weick, K.E., Sutcliffe, K.M., Obstfeld, D., 2005) suggests, sensemaking is not necessarily about truth, but about plausibility, thus I moved back to the UK in 2012.
My identity and sense of self gradually changed as I progressed through this challenge. I became more confident in my ability to lead myself through difficult situations, live with risk, adapt to new circumstances and deepened my understanding of my personal values. I learnt to consider the risk of depression and to reach-out for help when needed to. Living in Denmark gave me a thirst for change, challenge and I continuously use the positive adrenaline rush and my experience to continue my self-development. This experience helped me stay on purpose and start higher-education, while being authentic about who I am.