Strengths and dark sides are qualities that everyone carry. They are derived from different components, but are also related. Strengths are mainly referred to as the ability that an individual contains, where a dark side is created from unmet needs. It is important to understand that both of the qualities have aspects that need improvement. They both need work, and in order to fully understand them you need to accept them. Your strengths and dark side affect you as a leader, but you get to choose whether it is a positive or negative impact.
When talking about strengths, they are usually referred to as the ability that one has. It is a characteristic that distinguishes individuals apart from one another. It is what makes them unique and impactful. They are attributes that people are naturally good at accomplishing. Your strengths are qualities that you do exceedingly better than those around you. Many people contain strengths that they are unaware of, but can be seen through the eyes other individuals such as co workers, classmates, or maybe even strangers. When categorizing strengths into groups, the thirty four themes are organized into four domains: Executive, Influencer, Relationship Builder, and Strategic Thinker. People that are dominant in the executive strength category are ones who are seen as the hard workers that strive to accomplish tasks given to them with accuracy. Having strengths in the influencing category means those individuals know how to take charge, speak up, and make a statement. The ones put into the relationship building section have strengths which allow them to better understand the individuals that are accompanying them. They know how to put them into the equation and bring the group together. Then there are the strategic thinkers, who know how to organize new ideas and solve problems, while figuring out the best way to accomplish it. Everyone has their own strength, and the best thing about it is they are used in a countless number of ways.
As we move on to dark sides, these qualities are not as often brought up or discussed on a daily basis. The materials that compose a dark side include, pride, selfishness, self deception, and wrong motives. It is thought that a dark side is created from the failure of meeting basic needs and missing blocks. Everyone possess a dark side, but not everyone accepts it. Our dark side is a part of us that is uncontrollable, for it influences our choices and decisions more than we even know. Unaware of the effort and energy that we use to hide it from both our own self and others is quite insane. When hearing the word “dark side” an immediate negative thought emerges in our mind, for we are afraid of it. We are afraid to let it be seen and we are afraid to accept it. Without realizing it, by avoiding our dark side we are taking away from our strengths.
When relating our dark sides to our strengths it is hard to comprehend that they work off of one another. However, the biggest difference between your dark side and your strength is the way that you use it. Strengths are qualities that have been seen as unique or impactful. Where as dark sides are qualities that have been caused from certain situations or experiences. They are set aside hoping to be forgotten about, but in reality never go away. They are what we are most ashamed and embarrassed of. With all of this being said, we need to stand up to our dark side and accept it. We need to view it as one of our strengths, for it possesses positive qualities that we are blind to. Once chosen to accept, the hidden strengths will start to show, for you learn how to work with it and control it. All of the time that is wasted trying to hide it could have the opportunity to be used in other important qualities. If you choose to access your dark side you will soon begin to realize a new sense of personal power. Just like our strengths, our dark sides are unique both which contain good and bad parts. They both influence the decisions we make as well as those around us. Our dark sides often reflects qualities of our strengths that we are unaware of.
The upbringing of our strengths and dark sides are developed separately, but still reflect one another. Our strengths are our abilities and qualities that we personally possess. They are unique and viewed by other as impressive. Where as dark sides, are brought up by situation or experience that has had an impact on you in some way. They are created by needs that were left unfulfilled. However, both a strengths and dark side can be revealed at anytime in your life. In order for both of them to exist they need to be noticed and understood. They need practice and can always be improved, but in order for that to happen they need to be accepted whether it is your strength or your dark side.
As a leader, you are have a role to play in leading the team. When you take on the role as a leader, your strengths are automatically the main trait viewed. However, with your strengths comes your dark side, which is equally important. Your dark side is a characteristic that has the opportunity to become inhibiting on you as an individual, unless you choose to accept it and work with it. In that being said, in order to be an exceptional leader you have to be able to maximize the efficiency of the workplace, the productivity, and success of the organization. This is accomplished by both your strengths and dark side, but also the individual’s strengths and dark sides that surround you. You have to be aware and notice the people’s potential for growth in their personal strengths, rather than trying to fix their weakness. It is crucial in understanding that by improving each individual’s strength, the organization itself will be accompanied by many different people who excel in their personal strength. By focusing on that, the organization will start to be centered around a superb group of people rather than a group of mediocre ones. Of course, you can not ignore ones weakness, but by focusing and investing time into their strength it will begin to minimize the weakness and the effects it has on the organization. Having this quality as a leader, and choosing to invest in your followers strengths and helping them notice their dark side you will begin to build well rounded teams and become more understanding of each individuals personal needs.
When looking at strengths and dark sides, we need to understand that both are brought up by experiences, and being able to recognize them allows us to grow as an individual. Whether it is our strength that helps us achieve our goals, or our dark side that needs improvement, both are affecting our life in a some positive way. It is choosing to accept our dark side and work on our strengths that allows us to accomplish tasks that are placed in our paths. These qualities work off of each other, so improving each of them will only lead to appreciable results.
Identify how emotional trauma and “missing blocks” work with pride, selfishness, wrong motives, and self-deception to grow the dark side issues in the life of a leader.
Many people are are unaware of their dark sides or are in denial of it. Both which could be detrimental to one’s life. The thing about our dark side is it has a life of its own. It thrives when we least expect and we have no say in it. The only thing we have the ability to do is acknowledge it and accept it. Emotional trauma and the “missing blocks” in our lives are certain situations that have occurred in our past life that had an effect on use either mentally, physically, or emotionally. The situations can range from physical abuse to a comment that your significant other made about your outfit. Due to these experiences, we as individuals make the choice to invalidate and put our dark side behind us, choosing to avoid it rather than explore it. The problem that we do not understand is that our dark side contains characteristics of our strengths, and by avoiding it it is preventing us from showing those the entirety of ourselves.
Emotional traumas and “missing blocks” are an accumulation of past experiences that have created some type of impacted on the individual. Due to this, their pride, selfishness, self deception, and wrong motives underlies their dark sides causing issues as a person and a leader. These dark sides affect the pride of a individual by preventing them to have accountability and never wanting to be wrong. It affects their selfishness which then creates chaos and disorder and as for self deception it causes the individuals to get caught up in wrong motives. Many people who are in a leadership position have recognized a unexplainable desire to make a impactful mark at some point with their life. This could include, the need of approval, fear of denial, the need to feel in control, or the tendency to work towards perfection. Emotional traumas and missing blocks are what grow the dark side issues of a leader, which generate secrecy and manipulation. It consumes them causing them to be afraid of vulnerability and the rejection of the dark side that they have been hiding.
The emotional traumas and missing blocks in the life of a leader have an effect on their pride, self deception, selfishness, and wrong motivates. This situation has the ability to be prevented if one chooses to recognize and understand the situation. In Overcoming the Dark Sides of Leadership, Sue Grafton states, “If you want to to understand yourself and others look into the area of pain, sorrow, and rage” (174). By recognizing and identify past experiences of both yourself and those around you it is beneficial to remember how you felt during that time, so you learn from it and use it to help those that surround you.
What 1 strength and what 1 dark side surprised you in your profile? Why?
My top five strengths, which were determined by the Clifton strengths test are Includer, Adaptability, Consistency, Individualization, and Harmony. Out of the five that I received adaptability was the one that surprised me the most. The definition given by clifton strengths states, “People exceptional talented in the adaptability theme prefer to go with the flow. They tend to be now people who take things as they come and discover the future one day at a time.” This surprised me, because I always thought that I was the person who was constantly worrying about how my future and how it was going to end up. However, when learning about this strength, I became aware that this actually describes me perfectly. Although, I am constantly wondering about my future I am okay with plans changing and not going exactly how I pictured them. I realized that I am a person who lives in the moment and is comfortable just going with the flow.
As for my dark sides, codependency was the one that I was surprised to see. I always thought of myself as a very independent and self motivated person, so when codependency showed up as one of my highest scoring dark sides I was confused. However, when becoming more aware of the characteristics and traits that a codependent person carried, I looked back and noticed that I am someone who seeks the approval and opinion of others, as bad as that is. I have a need of pleasing people and I cannot deal with disappointing those around me. I understand know that I am the one that is constantly taking personal responsibility for other people’s emotions and actions hoping to avoid that individual from hurting. Looking back I realize know that I am not as independent as I thought myself out to be.