Introduction
In this assignment I will explore the possibilities of systemic counselling for a fictional character, “Jamiel”. I will first look at Jamiel’s life, his background, history and the Systemic and Sociocultural issues revolving why he is suffering with fear and sadness. I will look at the reasons behind why Jamiel may be requiring some therapy and will look in particular at how he feels he is viewed as a male in modern day society. I will move on to looking at how Jamiel’s gender, race, disability, class and family arrangements are currently affecting him. Finally I will act as Jamiel’s family counsellor to provide a specific plan for treating Jamiel’s issues considering the systemic approach.
Case study
Jamiel is a 29 years old, stay at home father, born in Malton, North Yorkshire; he now lives with his wife of 5 years, Hannah, in a rural North Yorkshire village. They live in a cottage tide to Hannah’s job as Practice Manager at a Veterinary Surgery. Jamiel met Hannah, the daughter of a wealthy farm estate owner while Hannah was home from University. The couple have one daughter, Jasmine, aged 4 and Jamiel has an elder daughter Amira from a previous relationship.
The eldest of four brothers, Jamiel was brought up predominantly by his mother as his Tunisian father died when he was a child. When growing up money was tight. Jamiel was diagnosed with dyslexia at six years old and remembers school to be a struggle, leaving with very few recognisable qualifications and with low self confidence. Upon leaving school, Jamiel got a summer job as a window cleaner with the hope to train as a plumber at York College after the holidays. Plans changed when Jamiel’s now ex partner Sara fell pregnant with Amira. Jamiel continued working as a window cleaner to support his new family financially. Jamiel and Sara separated when Amira was still a baby.
When Jamiel and Hannah’s daughter Jasmine was born the couple discussed Hannah’s return to work and when Jasmine was just 6 months old, Jamiel gave up paid employment to become a full time house keeper. Hannah returned to work full time.
Now Jasmine is about to start school, Jamiel is feeling depressed and anxious about what the future holds. Hannah wants to Jamiel to return to paid employment and this is causing arguments between the pair. Jamiel is worried he won’t succeed in getting a decent job, he feels that Hannah thinks that he should knuckle down and start looking into employment options straight away. Jamiel on the other hand feels that he is reliving the failures and frustrations he felt as child at school. This brings back intense and unnerving feelings. Because Jamiel has convinced himself that nobody will want to employ him, he is now avoiding the job search as it is making him anxious and upset.
Case study discussion
Jamiel is currently finding it hard to imagine a positive outcome regarding him returning to work, He finds himself in a position where it is almost impossible for him to imagine anything positive in the future. He feels his Dyslexia has always held him back and that his current feelings revolve around his past experiences. This is causing arguments with Hannah who believes Jamiel is more than capable of getting a job. This has created a vicious cycle of arguments between the pair, causing a pattern of negativity to occur. When looking at this from a counselor’s perspective this could be due to circular causality, where “each partner’s behaviour is maintained by the actions of the other”. (Vosser, 2010, p. 191). This vicious circle will need to be broken in order for the arguments and resentment to stop.
In a society where women generally are the main providers of childcare, Jamiel believes that a gap in a woman’s C.V for looking after children is not only more common but more socially acceptable. He feels that individuals think there must be some kind of problem with a man who leaves his job or career to look after his children and feels that he will be looked negatively upon for this reason. Jamiel also finds himself believing that he is somewhat an inadequate husband because he is not following a life path believed to be normal for a man of his age. He believes he should “man-up” and finds it hard to admit to anyone how low he feels. As described by Barker, “Men, certainly, do not escape fear and sadness. Rather, their expression of these emotions differs due to strong cultural messages that ‘real men’ show no fear and are rational rather than emotional.” (Baker, 2010, p. 223)
Jamiel and Hannah find it hard to understand each others points of view. Jamiel’s view of the world is very different to Hannah’s and Jamiel strongly believes this is due to their childhood and opposite backgrounds. Jamiel also feels that being half Tunisian, having a foreign sounding name and been brought up by a single mother has had a massive impact on the person he is today and he finds himself angry with Hannah for not understanding what life was like for him as a teenager and then a young man without the privileges of a wealthy family and the family financial support Hannah received when she was training to be a vet. This has made the couple feel like there is a class divide between them. Having different views is completely normal, as described by Vossler “We are only able to form personal, subjective views of what is out there.” (Vossler, 2010, p. 196). Hannah and Jamiel are both convinced that their own personal view points regarding Jamiel returning to work are correct so therefore both are stuck in a cycle of upsetting and unproductive arguments and feelings. “Families can get ‘stuck’ when their rules and interaction patterns are perceived as gridlocked and unable to adapt to changing demands in the ‘family life cycle’” (Carter and McGoldrick, 1999, cited in Vossler, 2010, p. 201). Jasmine is starting to pick up on her father’s depressive mood and the arguments between her parents. This upsets Jamiel and causes feelings guilty for having anxiety as he knows it is starting to affect the whole family unit.
Jamiel is finding it hard to accept the idea of going back into paid employment; he likes his life at the moment and is feeling pressurised by Hannah and her family to “make something of himself” – he feels no matter what he does, he will never be good enough. He feels that there are expectations of him for the first time in his life, because as a young dyslexic child, he never felt pushed to do anything expect be a kind, decent human being. He is struggling with the pressure he feels he is under.
Working with this client systemically
I suggested, after meeting Jamiel that systemic family counselling would be the best way for him and Hannah to move forward and resolve his issues around fear and sadness. I feel that they would be well suited to this type of counselling because: Systemic therapy not only takes the stance that neither Jamiel or Hannah are right or wrong but it gives both parties chance to express how they are feeling, learn to empathise with each other and to discuss all the things that are affecting them regarding Jamiel’s fear and sadness. ‘Fear can fulfil the function of regulating closeness and distance between the partners’ (Holm, 1987, cited in Vossler, 2010, p. 201).
Constructivism believes that we all develop our own independent and individual opinions and outlooks of the world, and that no one persons view is more correct or valid than that of the other. “According to a constructivist position, every single person lives in a ‘personal biosphere’ with individually held beliefs and views of the world.” (Vetere and Dallos, 2003, cited in Vossler, 2010, p. 196).
By working this way, where everyone is treated as equals, it gives an opportunity for both Jamiel and Hannah to contribute and then hopefully make it possible for them to find a way through the issues collectively. I would work with Jamiel and Hannah as a couple, to try to better understand how they function as a family, to attempt to get them to communicate in a more empathetic way with each other and to set them targets and a line of attack to make it easier for them to work through their currently problems together. I feel It would be an advantage for Jamiel and Hannah to use a ‘reflective team’ as having multiple views on the way of dealing with his problematic issue could help Jamiel feel less restricted to follow a certain treatment path.
I would work with a team of systemic councillors who as in the video clip, can watch from the sidelines and join with their opinions at a later stage in the sessions. Brown (excerpt 13b audio) says, ‘‘the reflecting team offers supportive comments to the family, but they would also offer slightly different ideas that might stretch the conversation a bit further. Or what we call a difference that makes a difference.’ This would give an insight into how different people were viewing the interaction between Hannah and Jamiel. “Supported by a therapeutic stance of open-mindedness and curiosity, different views and opinions are welcomed and utilised as they help to open a client system to change.” (Vossler, 2010, p. 205) “A ‘reflective team’ comprises two or more observing counsellors who are invited at some point during a session to discuss their perceptions and ideas in front of the clients.” (Vossler, 2010, p. 206)
The actions and thoughts displayed by one individual can prompt another individual’s actions; this also works the other way around. Vossler describes this as a ‘recursive interaction patterns’. (Vossler, 2010, p. 192). As a systemic counsellor, I would be particularly interested in how Jamiel and Hannah’s behaviours are affecting each other and how they are becoming stuck in a vicious cycle of behaviour and not moving towards a mutually agreed goal.
Moreover, I would use the reframing technique with Jamiel to help him to transform negatives into positives. I want to concentrate on what he can do and is doing rather than what he can’t do or is not doing. I feel that it is vital that he feels worthy and capable. I feel this technique would be effective because it would help Jamiel to change his view of some of his negative opinions from negative into positive, productive thoughts. (Vossler, 2010, p. 202).
Finally, I would look to explore Jamiel’s interactions with Hannah, find out more about his beliefs and see what patterns start to immerge. This would enable me to see Jamiel and Hannah’s issues more clearly and would hopefully mean suggestions could be made on new ways for Jamiel to think in every day life. Hopefully increasing Jamiel’s self confidence would therefore, help him to make the necessary changes to move forwards.
Conclusion
In conclusion, I feel that the best approach for dealing with Jamiel’s fear and sadness is for him to work along with his wife Hannah by undertaking to come to regular systemic family councillor sessions. I would need to take into account my own difficulties as I councillor I would need to ensure that I did not use my previous experience or thoughts regarding Jamiel’s culture, family setting, gender and position in the family to judge him initially as explained by Sue and Sue ‘Counsellors should expect the same diversity in their BME and their white clients, and remember that everyone has a culture’ (Sue and Sue, 2008, cited in Barker, 2010, p. 220).
Self-reflection
I have really enjoyed this assignment; I loved the creative writing of making up my own fictional character. Although I did change my mind numerous times. The main difficulty was covering all aspects and relating it to the text book in a coherent and logical way and sticking to the systemic approach.
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References
Vossler, A. (2010) ‘Systemic approaches’, in Barker, M., Vossler, A. and Langdridge, D. (eds) Understanding counselling and psychotherapy, London, Sage publications ltd. P189-210
Barker, M. (2010) ‘Sociocultural issues’, in Barker, M., Vossler, A. and Langdridge, D. (eds) Understanding counselling and psychotherapy, London, Sage publications ltd. P211-233
Brown, P. (2015) Excerpt 13b: The process of systemic family therapy – changing stories: [Online]. Available at https://learn2.open.ac.uk/mod/oucontent/view.php?id=842445§ion=1.4