According to Schultz and Schultz (2017), individual psychology focuses on the uniqueness of an individual, and somewhat challenges the biological factors that play a role in shaping personality. Alder was an advocate for having the will and power to create who we want to be, and was overall optimistic about our own progress (Schultz & Schultz, 2017). We have the ability to also shape our own futures (Schultz & Schultz, 2017). While this may be so, Alder did not completely discredit biological aspects. Alder promotes that certain aspects of human nature are innate, and these include the strive for perfection, and social interest (Schultz & Schultz, 2017). Moreover, Adler discusses how our childhood influences have played a partial role in shaping who we are—this includes birth order and how our parents raised us (Schultz & Schultz, 2017).
This paper discusses the development of Lydia’s personality, and integrates Adler’s individual psychology, specifically focusing on the strive for perfection, style of life, social interest, and birth order.
Striving for Perfectionism
Striving for superiority is related to feelings of inferiority as a means of removing that feeling (Ashby & Kottman, 1996). Adler also suggested that the strive for superiority comes from an attempt to perfect ourselves, and to make us complete (Schultz & Schultz, 2017).
According to Ashby and Kottman (1996), there are two types of striving for perfection: normal and neurotic. Normal striving of perfection includes manageable feelings of inferiority, and these feelings are dealt with responsibly and productively (Ashby & Kottman, 1996). Thus, high levels of social interest is demonstrated, and these type of people attempt to relieve these inferior feelings by benefiting not only themselves, but others as well. Those with neurotic perfectionism have no concern for others, and work toward personal gains (Ashby & Kottman, 1996).
Lydia identifies has having a normal strive for perfection. She sets high standards for herself to do her absolute best work and to accomplish all tasks. However, she is fully aware that she cannot attain ultimate perfection, though because of her strive, she ends up being content with the outcome of most situations. She has a “constructive striving for achievement” (Ashby & Kottman, 1996, p. 240). Her strive for perfection is looked at as a challenge, rather than as an affliction that can lead to discouragement.
According to Schultz and Schultz (2017), the strive toward perfectionism increases tension rather than reduces it. Because of Lydia’s strive for perfection, she very often stresses herself out, overthinks, and worries that certain things aren’t good enough; when in reality, it’s probably the best it can already be. For example, when writing essays or any papers, she constantly worries if she’s writing the paper correctly, properly addressing the prompt, or if the organization of the paper makes sense. She worries if the paper is perfect or good enough, and this is when her feelings of inferiority come into play. Thus, it motivates and activates the strive for perfection.
What can be attributed to this perfectionism is most likely the environment that Lydia was raised in. Her parents and even her own self can also be reasons for the perfectionism. When she was younger, in her elementary school years, she remember always being so on top of her school work and feeling very smart for the most part. Lydia always got really good grades, straight A’s, honors awards, etc. The recognition and good grades made her feel good, so it motivated her to continue to work hard, and work toward some sort of goal. Getting these high grades and being close to the top of the class, made her feel superior to those who didn’t have the same grades as her.
Additionally, being raised in an Asian culture also contributed to her strive for perfection. This is somewhat stereotypical, but she found it to be somewhat true in her own family. Since she always got A’s, getting a B, or especially a C, would come as a shock to her parents—it was a big deal. Her parents would emphasize the fact that she got a B. If she were to get a C, they would tell her to do better. Lydia doesn’t remember her parents being very harsh or strict about grades, but they made it a point to continue to get A’s and do well in school. There weren’t any negative consequences of getting a B or C; her parents would just point it out, and encourage her to do better.
Style of Life & Social Interest
In regards to Adler’s Styles of Life, Lydia would classify more into the socially useful type. She mostly cooperates others while also accommodating to their needs. In addition, she identifies as having high social interest. With this, she is able to accomplish her own goals as well as help others achieve theirs.
Lydia’s first and actual recollection of social interest comes from her participation in show choir during her elementary and middle school years. It was her first chance to really cooperate and be a part of a team. Thus, this experience has carried over and continued throughout her work ethic and in her interpersonal relationships.
In a work and school setting, her social interest is evident. Lydia is very accommodating and tries to make sure everyone gets their way as much as possible, sometimes to the point where she sacrifices her own needs and wants. When it comes to group projects, if nobody else facilitates a conversation, Lydia has no problem initiating one. She ensures that everyone feels included and contributes to the project. This is partly because she is also a people-pleaser; she feels the need to accommodate everyone’s preferences as much as possible. Further, this somewhat also brings out the “perfectionist” aspect in her. She goes out of her way, and asks each and every person what part they would like to contribute in, even before she chooses what she would like to contribute in a project.
When it comes to work, she is very cooperative and is a team player. If she isn’t assigned any specific task, she assesses what can be done or be helped with, and takes the initiative to lend a helping hand. She also asks any of her colleagues if they need help, and is happily and willing to help. In a social setting, when Lydia is with her friends, she is also very cooperative and accommodating. When making plans, she tries to work with everyone’s schedule and asks what everyone else would prefer. From there, she creates a plan that hopefully makes everyone happy, and works with everyone’s preferences.
Adler theorized that social interest is innate, but is also influenced by the relationship one might have with their mother, especially in early childhood (Johnson, et al., 2003). From what Lydia remembers, she generally had a good relationship with her mother. The relationship was warm, and her mother was loving and kind, yet stern and disciplined when necessary. Her mother was, and is always supportive in all of her endeavors. When seeking advice, her mother shares her perspective and opinions, but overall, supports any choice or decision Lydia might make. Thus, with a strong and caring relationship with her mother, Lydia was able to develop a deep sense of social interest.
Birth Order
Lydia has a younger brother, making her the oldest, and first-born between the two. As a first-born, Lydia experienced dethronement, which according to Schultz & Schutz (2017), is when there is a shift in attention when the next child is born. Similarly, according to Eckstein & Kaufman (2012), when a new sibling is born, the first-born child tends to experience feelings of jealousy, rivalry, and envy.
At around the age of 4, Lydia was no longer the focus of attention. The attention was now being shared with her new sibling, Caleb. With Caleb now in the picture, Lydia felt jealous, and felt like she wasn’t loved anymore by her parents. Her mother accounts Lydia of not being as welcoming or accepting when Caleb was born.
According to Schultz and Schutz (2017), first-born children tend to dwell onto the past and are often reminiscent of past memories. They are also pessimistic about the future. This completely defines Lydia. For as long as she can remember, she’s always thought about her past memories and how certain things back then were so much better, and she often compares it to her current situation now. In regards to the future, she tries to be hopeful, but at times she also doubts her success in the future when it comes to her career and financial stability, and is quite pessimistic.
According to Alder, first-born children also appreciate order and authority (Schultz & Schutz, 2017). They are characterized as great organizers, have strong attention to detail and can be conservative (Schultz & Schutz, 2017). Lydia is conservative in the sense where she is cautious and careful about the way she acts and responds to new people, and new, unfamiliar situations. At her job as well as in her schooling, she is incredibly organized and has high attention to detail. At her job, she is typically the one who is often assigned projects that require a great amount of attention to detail.
Eckstein & Kaufmann (2012), also discuss teaching strategies between siblings, and found that when it comes to teaching, older children have more controlling and dominating tendencies. Thus, they try to control the situation, rather than by providing instruction and allowing the younger sibling to actually participate in the learning experience (Eckstein & Kaufmann, 2012). Lydia is sometimes a know-it-all when it comes to informing or advising her younger brother. She has good intentions of being helpful, but sometimes the way information is relayed comes off as hostile. In a work setting, when training or helping new hires, Lydia tries her best to actually teach a procedure; though, sometimes she ends up controlling the interaction and outcome, rather than by providing actual instructions on how to complete a certain task.
Conclusion
The development of Lydia’s personality was examined by specifically looking at Adler’s theories of the strive for perfection, style of life and social interest, and birth order. While some of these aspects are considered to be innate, some are also due to environmental factors and influences. Lydia’s younger years, specifically elementary school years, have played a role in shaping the person who she is today. However, with the many experiences to come her way, she is able to choose how she wants to be as a person, and how she wants to interact with those around her. It is ultimately her choice, with how she wants her future to play out, a main concept in Alder’s Individual Psychology.