Aristotle’s mindset of friendship in the 21st century
It is debated what friendship is supposed to be. Many perspectives and individual thoughts on what friendship actually is. Friendship comes with all sorts of elements such as loyal, long lasting and synonyms to these words which all comprise on what we perceive as friends. Friendship by definition is “a person who you like and enjoy being with” (Merriam-Webster). Aristotle one of the fathers of western philosophy and a student of Plato states “complete friendship is that of good people, those who are alike in their virtue” (Aristotle, 147). Aristotle thought friendship should be highly valued and full of a person’s morality. “Friendship seems to hold cities together and lawmakers seem to take it more seriously than justice” (Aristotle, 144). Aristotle stated no one should be without friends or live without having friendship in their lives. There are three specific categories Aristotle viewed friendship. If they didn’t fall under these categories, you probably weren’t friends. First one is utility, second one was that of pleasure, and the last one was that of complete friendship. Aristotle wrote about friendship in ancient Greece 340-350 B.C. It is now 2016. Is this the same way we view friendship now? I think we have evolved and now think of friendship differently than what he categorized as friends. The world has changed in the generations since Aristotle. Aristotle views and concept of friendship are archaic in comparison to today’s society.
Aristotle thought people of class and high society were the only ones worthy of love and friendship. He didn’t care for everyone equal. In his point of view “neither old nor ill-tempered people seem inclined to friendship”. Aristotle thinks of friendship as political in nature. This is obviously a risky way of thinking in today’s society. In Aristotle’s eyes if you are a criminal, poor, or of lesser standing you cannot be friends with anyone.
Aristotle had three specific ways of differentiating friends. The first one was utility. The use of a person. For example a mechanic. He is getting money in exchange for fixing/maintaining of a vehicle. Aristotle thought it was the lowest form of friendship. I am a very good friend with my mechanic and we work on my car together on a monthly basis at least. I may not know everything about his family or enjoy his company all the time, but I consider him a friend. Aristotle states “such friendships are thus easily dissolved, when the parties to them do not remain unchanged; for if one party is no longer pleasant or useful, the other stops loving him” (Aristotle, 146). Let us say I no longer have a vehicle. Will I stop being friends with my mechanic? I no longer have use for him because the car was what in Aristotle’s mind what kept him as a useful friend. I don’t see it that way. He will continue being a friend of mine due to his importance in life. Not because of the usefulness of him as a mechanic. My mechanic is still a good person at heart and I know I will continue to be concerned about his wellbeing. I consider that a friend. I can count on him regardless of having a vehicle for him to work on or not.
The second form of friendship is that of pleasure. I use a bar hopping buddy as an example for this. I get some sort of gratification from having him around. He is a big jokester. He will make fun of every single team in whatever sport we seem to be watching including his own. Aristotle states that if he goes to jail or commits some crime it is no longer a friendship. “It is only the friendship of good people to protect you from slander. For it is not easy to trust criticism of a person whom one has proved oneself over a long period of time; between good people there is trust, the feeling that the other would not do an injustice to one” (Aristotle, 148). Does this mean because he had an error in judgement and I know longer have the pleasure of having him around he no longer is a friend? I oppose this train of thought. Personally this did happen to me. One of my friends was in jail for driving under the influence and hitting a pedestrian. Obviously, this is clearly horrific. The person wasn’t seriously hurt, but it still happened. He went to jail for about 8 months. He is now a criminal. Is my bar hopping buddy still a friend? Yes, he is. An error doesn’t change the person. I don’t believe it should change your point of view on that person. There is some hesitation around him, of course. Will I drink an alcoholic beverage around him? Probably not. Especially if I know he is driving, but the person is still the same either way. The title that he gained by being in jail is that of criminal. He didn’t change the title changed. The status by which he is looked upon maybe different, but he is still the same jokester. I love him just the same.
The last form is friendship of Virtue. It took me a while to understand what Aristotle was meaning by this. “They each alike wish good things to each other in so far as they are good, and they are good in themselves”. Basically, I am friends with you because I love you over being loved myself. You have to be good in general. Good for the sake of goodness. Virtue by definition “morally good behavior or character” (Merriam-Webster). It is hard to understand this in today’s perspective. I have to be alike to you. A perfect example of this is my friend who is a dot com millionaire. We are nothing alike. He has more money than I will probably ever see in my life. He definitely isn’t of equal mind or alike due to his wealth and status and where he was educated. Is he a friend? Of course he is. In Ancient Greece the difference between money and status was huge in disparity. It was the social norm. In ancient times I probably wouldn’t even know who my friend was because of that status difference. In the 21st century not so much. We don’t notice the difference. At least we don’t think a person is better than another just because of the type of education that they received or the money that they have in their bank accounts. He is a friend because of the common bond we have no money or status involved. I actually have no idea why my friend calls me a friend, but he does none the less. He doesn’t care where I live or where I come from. All that matters is that we drink the same beer, good company is there, and I keep him grounded.
There are disputes to my form of thinking. Not everyone has changed in their mindset of 350 B.C. There are still people in the world that think high society has their place and you should stick to it. People with money should only be friends with people with money. I consider their views flawed, but to each their own. Our four fathers wrote The Declaration of Independence which states all men are created equal. It was written generations after Aristotle, but this is the time we live in now. Why not be friends with everyone. I believe it would diminish the problems we have in the world today. If we cared just a little about each other regardless of class, societal status, or the money that we have. This world would be so much better. Utilizing religious text “have we not all one father? Has not one God created us?” (Malachi 2.10).
Every individual person will come up with their conclusion on what friendship is. What we can’t deny is that friendship is an essential element in everyone’s life. “It is not only a necessary thing, but a noble one as well” (Aristotle, 144). Aristotle was one of the fathers of western philosophy. We still follow his teachings today. It is almost biblical or religious the way we treat the words that Aristotle wrote. Would he be right in today’s society? I don’t believe so. Was he correct in his society? I can’t answer that question. My mind wasn’t wired to think the way the ancients did. I believe in equal rights and that no one is better than anyone else. Aristotle didn’t believe in equality in unequal people. If you didn’t derive from status you could not find the person with status as equal to you. Therefore, that person with status could not be associated or friends with someone who didn’t have that status. This is a horribly archaic way of seeing things. I challenge Aristotle’s philosophy on love and friendship as if he was a modern philosopher, but he wasn’t. Different eras have different perspective on the way they see things. No one is right or wrong in this situation. I only bring to light that in the modern era there is no room for inequality. Whether you are a criminal, poor, or of lesser standing I could still be your friend. I will not treat you differently because of those errors in life that may have arisen. Even less from the financial status that you may hold. I definitely will not think of you any different if you have a lesser standing than me. All these are archaic views on friendship. To me the more the merrier. I will continue to call you my friend regardless of who you are.
Works Cited
Aristotle, W D. Ross, and Lesley Brown. The Nicomachean Ethics. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2009. Print
The Bible. King James version, Old Testament and New Testament, Oxford University Press, 1998.