From the moment of conception, society has foreseen who you are ought to become. An individual's growth- the process of evolving physically, mentally and spiritually- is now abhorrently far from being natural and diverse. What truly shapes us is not merely our interests or the set of circumstances in which we find ourselves throughout the course of life, it is society: it is the wildly absurd and unrealistic standards, expectations and standardisations of society. Our way of life is constrained to be contingent on the current trends and conceptions, thus we are expected to make alterations to our lifestyles in accordance with the continually modified prevailing vogue. Society is controlling us. Call it just a perception or a realisation, it deeply troubles my mind and it is time to understand that it should make you feel the same way.
In some cases, a mother’s situations, their background or past become the child’s future according to outsiders. In an instant they are branded. This often leaves a mark on that child that cannot be erased. They see this mark as their only option on who to become. Their freedom of expression is seized from them. The illusion of free speech becomes just that, an illusion. Most of us could be found guilty of judging others based on things outside of their control. Be it a minor harmless comment or something that could've potentially damaged the person’s stability of mind in some way. Instead of blaming and shaming, I feel as though the right way to deal with this attitude that lies within us is by making ourselves aware of inspirational personas who have broke the chains placed around them by the set of circumstances they were born into. Someone who showed us that is possible is Oprah Winfrey. A woman of great ambience. If her past was to decide her life for her, she would not be anywhere near where she is now. Born to an unwed teenage mother, who worked as a housemaid, Oprah lived a primitive life on her grandmother’s farm until the age of six when she left to continue her life with her mother. As her mother worked long hours during the day, Oprah was often left home alone, when the most tragic events of her life began taking place. She was repeatedly molested sadistically by visitors and even male relatives. After various failed attempts to escape from her house, she managed to leave at the age of fourteen. Her trauma caused her to become sexually promiscuous and led to the birth of her first child during her teenage years who died prematurely. She went through phases of alcohol and drug abuse during those years. This woman has seen the fires of hell but she fought everything. She made the change. She did not let her past weigh her down or control her for the rest of her life. Oprah Winfrey would have been seen as a lost cause by all the eyes looking down on her, but those are the same eyes looking up to her now. Look at where she is now. Look at who she is now. Let's come to understand that your past is given to you, there are so many things outwith your control, but the only one that can decide your future is you.
Nowadays, our perception of beauty is becoming more and more narrowed. We are letting photoshopped portraits and a face full of make-up define what beauty is. Our minds are restricted from thinking outside of what is conventional. Our definitions of beauty and perfection are more or less becoming the same. To the very few that could sincerely object to that, trust me, this isn't fiction. In 2014, Dove surveyed 1027 women within the age range of eighteen and sixty four on the matter of beauty. According to the results, majority of women’s “conception of beauty is shaped by women in the public domain and social media”. A study conducted in the same year concluded that women send approximately five million derogatory tweets about beauty, the focus mainly being on themselves. 78% of women that took part in the study believed that the way women are portrayed on social media is simply unrealistic. That belief doesn't stop us from letting social media rule us though, funnily enough. Also, 82% held the opinion that social media is capable of deciding current standards of beauty. Aren't we allowing others a bit too much input in our lives? Social media takes pride in displaying beauty as merely what is on the outside. According to media, artificial beauty is the right kind of beauty. Society is trying to tell us that nothing less than physical perfection is acceptable or something worth considering as being valuable, is nobody taking the time to think about how ridiculous that even sounds. Why are we falling for this?
Having a disability or disorder makes you abnormal, how? What even is the meaning of the term “normal”? Normality is not something anyone is given, it is something we make of ourselves. A story which I found heartbreaking yet uplifting was one of a journalism student from the university of Maryland. After several misdiagnosis, she was professionally diagnosed with non-verbal learning disorder, which causes her to find understanding cues in social environments challenging and she also takes a really long time to learn essential skills such as driving and cooking. Throughout the course of her life, she has went through constant judgement, rejection and ridicule from fellow students due to her disability. Rumours crashed down on her in waves. She was considered and treated as a social outcast by even the most important people in her life, her parents. She wasn't given any comfort or reassurance, only discouragement and discrimination, as if her disability by birth was something she brought on herself. Those surrounding her believed she had no skills or capabilities that could be called her own. But that is the same girl who is now an advocate for disability rights and highly qualified. Why do we all have to be the same to be considered equal to others? How can a human being’s value be decided according to physical features? Weakness and incapability aren't synonyms of disability. We all have flaws in one way or the other, we can't all be the same. Don't let a person’s disability be their identity. Let them live. Let them be who they want to be.
We are becoming, or should I say are far into the state of illustrating or exemplifying remote controlled machines. This is a trap presented as unparalleled freedom. It may be true that we are living as per our likes, but our likes are pinned to us. We are tricked into believing that what we see around us is what we want; what we should be; what is the only way to be. What are we heading towards? A uniform society striving to constantly meet the standards and requirements of those around us, or a state where no individual has an identity of their own? Neither of the two conclusions I see society betaking itself to sounds pleasant to me, do we not want to stop heading that way? Are we going to continue to merely succumb to the pressure we've brought about ourselves? Are we going to let ourselves become the product of parochial attitudes? Do we want to live our life or let others live it for us? In the same way, what right do we have to be the judge in the lives of others? You decide. Be the change you want to see in the world. It all starts with you. Not him. Not her. You.