Gender roles are specific ways we are perceived in having to act to be accepted by others depending on our sex which is either female or male. There is a certain set of mannerisms we are seen to have to have in order to be particularly ‘feminine’ or ‘masculine’. This essay will be going through certain aspects that happen in our lives that will determine how we act, such as our primary socialisation, what is seen as ‘gender type’ behaviour, our primary attachments such as in schools and pressures, the impact of culture and then later on when we grow up in paid work and families of our own. All of these factors determine how we learn our gender roles and depending of what we perceive them as, could either have a positive or negative effect in our societies.
Firstly gender roles are made in primary socialisation, which is where interactions are first made. The main interactions that will be made in primary socialisation is with our parents. Our parents are the ones that first show us the characteristics that we should have the certain qualities that we should acquire. For example babies pay close attention to their surroundings and how other people interact with each other, their mother which is usually the main caregiver is most likely the person that is mainly caring for them and giving them the most attention. The fact that the mother is caring the most for them making sure that they are always there is a clear first sign that as women we are to be seen as the main caregivers whereas men are not the main caregiver in the babies life.
There are two main theories that are to do with primary socialisation. The first of which is the ‘social learning theory’ which means that the children’s parents will reinforce particular gender appropriate behaviour upon the child and also punish the children for carrying out a gender inappropriate behaviour. An example of this is where a young boy may fall over and hurt his leg and then starts crying because he is in pain, however the fact that the little boy started crying is seen as an inappropriate behaviour as boys are perceived to have to be tough no matter what, even from a young age if a boy falls over and is in pain the mother is most likely to tell the child off for crying saying something like ‘be a big boy now’ whereas girls are seen as more fragile and need more looking after. The fact that each of the genders are treated differently means that males will grow a resilience to want to show their feelings as they were taught from a young age that showing their feelings makes them seen more feminine rather than masculine. This could affect males in a negative way as may even cause depression as they grow older as problems that they encounter in their life they will be less able to talk to others about them as they are made to believe that they are meant to be strong and keep any feelings they have to themselves as women are only able to show feelings. Women may also feel restricted as they are brought up being told to always act in a ladylike manner such as being polite and not outspoken in anyway, this will later on make women feel belittled to men as disagreeing with something is seen as ‘unladylike’ so they are brought up thinking they aren’t allowed to express their opinions.
Another theory that is linked with primary socialisation is the identification theory where children find a ‘personal sense of what it means to be female or male’ (Wharton, 2005, p.36). Children first find this within the attachments that they make with their parents that is the same sex to them. This is seen as the most important attachment that they will form as they are depending on their caregiver to provide them with all of their needs. The first caregiver is usually the mother who provides meaning to the child’s deep feelings. The child is made to bond with their mother however there is a separation involved for the male the person they identify themselves with is now made to be the father, this is a horrible feeling for the male but is a vital step that needs to be made as it teaches the male on what it means to be their gender as their father will teach them masculine mannerisms, in which the mother wouldn’t be able to provide the male with. Although this will help them learn the ‘gender appropriate’ roles the males find it much harder to form connections as fathers are usually not as involved with children which means that they will grow used to the separation and may also be more likely to choose distance rather than connections. This is based on the fact that they were forced to give up their first attachment. However, for women it completely differs as they are not forced to give up their primary attachment, they always have an ongoing bond with their mother from infancy which gives them a more concrete sense of what it means to be their gender as their mothers are always there for them guiding them throughout. The fact that they have a strong bond with their mothers means they have built in empathy and will more likely take into account other people’s feelings above their own, however they will struggle to be alone and would much rather be in a relationship than separated from others.
Culture plays a key part in how children learn their gender roles as before children are born their parents make sure that they pay attention to gender stereotypes and without thinking they form ‘sex-appropriate choices’ (frieze, 1978, p.108) this is called canalization. Children are most likely given objects and toys that identify with their sex, for example are reinforced to play with dolls and are given kitchen sets or toy babies as presents as this gives the child an idea of their gender roles, as females are taught to identify even from a young age to care for children, like pretty things such as well-dressed dollies and enjoy doing the housework. Whereas boys are reinforced to play with trucks and cars. As the children are reinforced to play with these types of toys they are more likely to choose the gender appropriate toys to play with which will therefore restrict them as they grow up as they will feel as though they need to gain jobs that are within what they have been used to. This leads women to be ‘naturally’ caring when they grow up as they have been taught from a young age to look after dollies and may therefore look for jobs that are based on what they have been used to growing up as it is difficult to break out of what they have been used to.
There are certain expectations and pressures that the children will face as they grow up while in the school system that effect their gender roles. There is prejudice in certain fields which are gender biased, for example technology subjects such as IT, mathematics and natural sciences are seen as mainly male orientated. Girls are perceived as incapable of being skilled in these fields. This means that even if girls wanted to do these subjects there would be a negative stigma towards them doing these subjects which may cause the female to drop out of these subjects and choose subjects that are more gender appropriate such as sociology or health and social care so they can fit in with their gender roles as what is seen as more feminine. Even if girls were to ignore the negative stigma around them doing these subjects and do the subjects anyway they would be underestimated if they are not completely successful and be brutally judged for not being good enough, even if they were successful in these fields they would be seen as ‘cold and unfeminine’ as these subjects are perceived as male centred. This would mean that society would lack women in the science and maths based departments according to official statistics of women in engineering ‘only 9% of the engineering workforce is female’ , therefore women will feel as though there is a barrier for them being capable in pursuing a career in these fields.
It isn’t only the school system that holds a negative stigma towards children choosing inappropriate gender fields, but also the peers within schools which stereotype genders to act in a certain manner in order to fit in. Within schools males are pressured to drink more than they usually would and to take part in sexual activities that they may not completely want to do but feel as though they have to in order to be accepted as males are seen as ‘more masculine’ if they engage in a lot of sexual activities and drink excessively. There is also a pressure within sports such as football and rugby, for males as it is seen as a hobby that all males should take part and enjoy as they are manly sports that make males more masculine as men as all perceived to enjoy playing ‘rough’ sports to get their hands dirty. As they are pressured males will feel like they need to take part in these sports even if they don’t enjoy them, which will mean they will not be able to carry out hobbies that they truly enjoy without being made fun of or looked down upon.
Even from as young age in primary school, girls are pressured into having to wear ‘popular’ brands that are ‘in the style’ to keep following the latest trends, if they don’t they will be excluded from groups as they are not seen to fit in with everyone else. This shows girls that even from a young age they are taught that being attractive should be their biggest focus above their academic achievements as they are there to attract men. Bullying could occur in the school setting if a girl is not seen as ‘attractive enough’ in the eyes of their peers as there is a pressure for girls to have ‘effortless perfection of being beautiful, smart and accomplished’ (wood, 2015, p.179). As there is a constant pressure for girls to achieve this type of perfection they could constantly feel not good enough which will lower their self-esteem drastically consistently trying to gain the approval of others and acceptance.
In the world of work there is a gender biased in the hiring process as in most work places women are seen as sex objects and their success could mainly be based on how good they look rather than how good they are at actually doing their job. Even within the work place there are ‘identity categories’ where part of women’s job is to look good with their makeup done up and well-dressed at all times, if not they could be looked down upon due to not looking feminine. As well as being judged for how well they look in the workplace it is more difficult for women to gain jobs such as managers or jobs within a law firm as women are stereotyped to all being mothers which automatically makes them perceives as less serious workers who put their children in front of their work duties which will therefore make them seen as not focused enough or giving work their all. It is also more difficult for women as they biologically have more empathy than men which means they are assumed to have to have jobs that involve caring for others which will only give them access to less well payed jobs such as secretary’s and nurses. This will frustrate women as they feel like they cannot be as successful than men and feel constantly under them. There was a experiment carried out that showed us that ‘79% of women with children are less likely to be hired