Through raising my child, Susan, I considered many of the theories of human development that were mentioned in class as well as the book. However, I decided on focusing upon Erik Erikson’s psychosocial theory. As this theory mentions that development occurs in eight phases that occur throughout a person’s lifespan, which requires lots of nurturing and guidance from parents to be successful. The eight different stages of development are presented by a “challenge” in development which is relevant to the developing person at the time. The conquering of these challenges prepares the person for the entrance of the next stage (Arnett, 2016). These stages all support the idea of human development being stemmed from the need for a person to become a member of the social and cultural environment in which they live.
The first five stages in this development theory are only successful through a close and supportive relationship between parent and child. With this in mind I set off raising Susan with a conscious acknowledgment of which of the eight developmental stages Susan was in at the time, thus, mandating how I could parent her most effectively from a developmental standpoint. The first stage of this developmental theory occurs in infancy it is “trust versus mistrust”. This involves the infant establishing a close and trustworthy relationship with its caregivers through their ability to attend to their needs and love and care. If done successfully the infant will have a positive outlook and will develop trust for the world (Arnett, 2016). During Susan’s infancy, I paid close attention to her needs, spent time with her, and expressed my love and care for her through this. Through passing this stage, in Susan’s toddlerhood she successfully moved into the second stage: “autonomy versus shame and doubt”. Here the child has developed a sense of self and begins wanting to make some decisions for themselves. If allowed to do so the child develops a healthy sense of independence (Arnett, 2016). Through Susan’s toddlerhood she began showing a desire to do things for herself and I allowed her to experiment with this while providing sufficient support and help. An example of this was allowing Susan to pick out her own toothbrush and her own hairbrush from the store, I helped with the operation of these things. Now in early childhood, Susan had entered the third stage of Erikson’s psychosocial theory: “initiative versus guilt”. Here a child will attempt to plan and carry out activities with purpose. With encouragement from caregivers a child will develop a sense of initiative. (Arnett, 2016). An example of this occurring with Susan was when my partner and I got her an electronic keyboard, while being able to play the keyboard was a little outside of her fine motor capabilities she insisted on practicing playing music for long periods of time. Through passing this stage Susan was now in middle and late childhood and experiencing the Erikson’s fourth step: “industry versus inferiority”. During this stage, the child is now going out and truly experiencing the world more where they will begin to gain the knowledge and skill which are necessary in their culture. Through encouragement and learning the child will successfully develop excitement for learning and will establish required skills with certainty, all of this meaning that the child will develop a sense of industry (Arnett, 2016). An example of this is when Susan would be struggling with math homework when she was 10 years old. Instead of insisting she figures it out on her own, or doing the problems myself, I would encourage Susan to keep trying. I would offer Susan help by giving her some guidance and answering her questions, however, I would allow her to eventually figure out the problems by herself. By offering support but still allowing Susan to complete the problems herself she developed confidence in her own ability. Finally, in adolescence Susan reached the fifth stage of development: “identity versus identity confusion” which would be the final stage of development that Susan would experience in the simulation. Here the challenge for a developing child is the ability to develop their own unique and genuine identity with which they are comfortable. High school posed a challenge to Susan as it does with many kids regarding fitting in and developing a comfortable identity that is genuine. Susan has always been a quieter child who gets nervous in new situations and becomes shy and cautious. This didn’t change in high school for her, and she even made many good friends just being herself. My partner and I supported Susan throughout high school and always offering to talk to her if she needed it. Susan continued through high school pursuing her interests, like playing violin, and staying true to her genuine identity. Through this, she was very successful, earned good grades, and created healthy friendships. Keeping Erik Erikson’s psychosocial theory in mind helped me make conscious decisions while raising Susan which helped shape her into the person she became.
Parenting Style
The way a child’s primary caregivers parent them has a very profound effect on the kind of person child becomes in the future and also has an important effect on the relationship a child shares with their primary caregivers. The textbook explains that parenting consists of two different factors: demandingness (control) and responsiveness (warmth), and that Diana Baumrind and her colleges have developed four different parenting styles which incorporate different expressions and amounts of the previous two parenting factors (Arnett, 2016). The four parenting styles developed by Baumrind are: disengaged, permissive, authoritative, and authoritarian. By American standards, authoritative parenting is associated with the best outcomes and the other three styles result in varying negative outcomes (Arnett, 2016).
Through raising Susan, I considered the outcome that parenting styles have on children and I certainly wanted what was best for my child. Authoritative are both high in demandingness and responsiveness. They establish and enforce clear consequences; however, they will explain to their children why they do so. This leaves discussion regarding consequences and rules open and can lead to some negotiation between the parent and child. (Arnett, 2016). So, with this in mind I decided to take an authoritarian parenting approach with Susan. I established very clear rules with Susan but also explained why I was doing so with her. This left communication open with Susan so that I didn’t have complete reign over her life, and she was able to see why I was doing certain things. Through this Susan was able to negotiate with me and we could make decisions together where we were both comfortable and happy with outcome of a rule or expectation. This gave Susan some control over her life. An example of this is when Susan was 16 years old and she got in a minor car accident in a parking lot where she backed into a car passing behind her. Rather than become very angry with Susan and immediately punish her for actions, I decided to make it a learning experience and to work with her while still ensuring that she did receive some sort of punishment. Rather than punishing Susan severely, I revoked her driving privileges for two weeks allowed her to take care of insurance forms and raising the $250 insurance deductible. Rather than taking control of Susan and lashing out punishments for no reason I decided to go lighter on the punishments and allowed the minor accident to be a learning experience.
Virtual Child’s Development and Characteristics
According to the Thomas and Chess infant temperament studies they discovered that 65% of babies they studied fit into one of three temperament styles: easy (40%), difficult (10%), and slow-to-warm-up (15%) based upon their adaptability to people and situations and their activity level (Arnett, 2016). Through observing Susan’s reactions as an infant, I noticed that Susan fit into the “slow-to-warm-up” category where she would become fussy when put into new situations and when introduced to new people. As she got older she continued to display this reaction in her infancy. Being familiar with Thomas and Chess’s goodness of fit model I adjusted Susan’s environment to match her temperamental needs. So, as a baby I would allow Susan to slowly become comfortable with new situations and people, supporting her as she did so, also being careful not to rush her on this. This allowed reduced stress for Susan and allowed her to develop new familiarities with places and people in a way in which she felt comfortable. Susan continued to be a quieter child as she grew but was always well liked and had plenty of friends.
An area of Susan’s development that surprised me was her Cognitive and Intellectual ability. From preschool (age 3) until middle childhood (age 6) Susan tested in the average range for language compression, reading (once she was able to), and mathematics. Once Susan turned eight she began to excel academically. In her psychologist’s report Susan was shown to be above average range in reading, reading fluency, phonological awareness and spelling. Susan was also slightly above average in math concepts. Arnett discusses this progression in cognitive ability explaining how the development of reading skills follows a very similar path with a development of mathematical skills. In middle childhood as children become skilled readers they usually also advance in math skills (Arnett, 2016). It was surprising to me how profound of an effect the entrance into formal school has on the development of cognitive skills in children.
During her childhood Susan became very interested in sports and music. At age six Susan began playing soccer and softball. Arnett discusses how gross motor development continues in early childhood that children are now able to play many sports, also middle childhood is when children are most likely to be involved in sports (Arnett, 2016). Susan’s musical interest was prevalent early in her life as she began taking piano lessons when she was six, sang in a choir, and at eight began to play violin in her school’s music program. Susan continued to play sports and to play violin in high school.
Influence of Outside Factors
There are many factors outside of a parent or family’s control that can make impacts on a child. These are things that are very relevant at all time of a child’s development and some can make profound impacts. Social interactions and peers have profound effect on children as they begin to spend more and more time with them as they get older. In middle childhood, the idea of “popularity” comes into play in school where children receive their distinct social status. Arnett explains that some important determining factors for popularity are: how intelligent a child is, a child’s physical appearance, and more importantly for boys, athletic ability (Arnett, 2016). Factors like this can have very serious impacts on children in middle childhood. Susan displayed her desire to meet these expectations when she was 11 and heading into the seventh grade. The simulation said that Susan was very concerned with looking cool for the start of seventh grade. This is how peers and the pressure of social order within schools in middle childhood have a very profound impact on children.