At some point in your lives, we all face the same decisions. We have all been hit by so many different arrows in our lives that we sometimes don’t know what to do with them all. So, what do we do with them? Neglect it, run from it, indulge it or even divorce it. Whatever the case may be, whether we experienced them through a loss or a deep volition, they all come with the same message: to kill our hearts. Our deepest gilts are formed without us being aware of our efforts, which in return causes a deep shift in our soul. Romance is full of beauty and wonder, but the arrows are just as powerful in their devastation. Romance promises a life of wholeness through a deep connection, while arrows deny it by telling us, “You are on your own. There is no romance, no one strong and kind who is calling you into an exotic adventure” (Curtis & Eldredge, 1997, p. 31). Romance invites us to trust while arrows subdue us into self-reliance. Romance also tells us that we are someone special and that our heart is good and it is made for someone good. While the arrows tell us, “we are a dime a dozen, worthless, even dark and twisted and dirty” (Curtis & Eldredge, 1997, p. 33). These arrows penetrate and hit us emotionally and make us feel such pain that we just want it to stop. Every time we go to do something the barbs rip, tear, and affect us in ways that are not always seen. Pain that we feel from these arrows is all too real. But instead of dealing with the arrows the correct way, we tend to silence them and try to forget about them, which seems to be our only hope. But there is a way to overcome it. Which is to go find it. Deal with because God can set your captive heart free.
Learnings
In The Sacred Romance, the authors share different methods on how we are to deal with the arrows from the devil. In the chapter The Message of the Arrows, which is written about the life of Curtis, Curtis describes how he tries to handle the pain he was feeling from his arrows. In college, Curtis says that he:
“Spent most of five years there still pursuing the Romance through parties, alcohol, and drugs, and in always making sure I was present when anything was going on. I feared that if I missed any opportunity, the magic would come while I was not there and I would miss it forever” (p 25-26).
He goes on to describe how he thought that something magical was coming and from that, the pain was dulled for a while, but college did not last forever. When the effects of the distraction method were lost with college he had to confront the fear and pain created by the arrows. He decided that the dreams he had possessed could not be true in this horrible world so he said that “I placed that last arrow in my heart that day and shoved it cleanly through” (Curtis, 1997, p. 27). He decided to simply give up and tell himself to man up because there was no use in trying in a world that was so evil. This did not fix the problem it simply let the issues build up and become worse. Curtis gives this description of what his life looked like with this method:
“It was the morning after another night of searching for something or someone; searching in bars, nightclubs, and just driving the roads listening to music all with the help of enough alcohol and drugs to keep the search hopeful.” (p 28)
Curtis goes on to say that one morning he decided to cry out to God and ask him for help. God answered his prayer in faithfulness that morning in his “first-love” years. After that, he began reading his bible and praying and decided to go take classes at Philadelphia Bible College. But becoming a Christian doesn’t necessarily solve the problems with the arrows in our lives. We have to full summit ourselves to God and ask him for help to take the deliver us and protect us from the devil’s arrows. What I have learned from these points is that you should always trust in God and ask him to help lead you down the right path in life. By putting on the full armor of God we will be protected by the devil’s arrows and schemes. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2). Trust in God and he will guide you throughout life.
Life Arrows
Like everyone else, I have had arrows that have affected me. One of the arrows that I can remember when I was younger was that I never fitted in with anyone and I never really had anyone that I could call a friend in elementary school and into some of junior high. I had a really hard time finding friends that I could actually call my friends and trust them. Because of that, I became very sad and maybe a little depressed that I was not really accepted for who I was and just not fitting in at all. Also, I started looking more into myself to find hope and kept everything to myself. I became very shy and did not like to be bothered and never really talked unless I had to. But all of that changed when I became a freshman in high school. I started finding friends and with doing sports it definitely helped out a lot. I became closes to a small group of people and I still keep in contact with them to this day, even though we all are going down separate paths. I have five people that I would call my best friends. But I have 2 very closes friends that I share everything with. They both came into my life in high school and we have been good friends ever since. And one of them is the most important person in my life, which is my girlfriend. She means the world to me and we trust each other with everything. So, because of meeting those people in high school, I have become more open and not self-reliant and willing to be more outgoing.
Another arrow that has affected my life is that with being a pastor’s kid that I always have to do everything right and if I make a mistake what will other people think of me. Going to a public school made this a little hard I think. Everyone knew that I was a Christian, which didn’t bother me at all, but I always had to try and be perfect because if I messed up I was always scared what other people would think and how they would see the Christian life. So always trying to live the perfect life put a lot of stress on me. But that changed over time because no one is perfect and we all make mistakes in life. It doesn’t matter what other people think of you. You just have to be yourself. And another arrow that affected my life is that when I was in public school I was always scared to share the gospel with people, even though everyone knew I was a Christian. I would have this feeling to go tell certain people about Jesus and minister to them, but I never did any of that in high school. Which I regret to this day of not sharing the message. So I do not know what is going to happen to those people in life, which I might get to see them again, but I lost my chance to share the word with them. I just hope and pray one day they will find the light and someone will share the love of Jesus Christ with them.
Conclusion
As I read this book I could see a what the authors were talking about and I could see what they were talking about in my own life when it related to the arrows. I agree that we need to find a way to get fix our problems caused by the arrows because they do a lot of harm. The personal stories that they shared in the book required a lot of bravery. Their sharing caused me to appreciate it, along with their description of how arrows affected them and how they can affect others. I was struck by realization and sadness every now and again when they talked about something that could have come from our past and I realized those things in my own life. This caused me to see this book not so much to help myself getting better rather than a platform to correct my current relationships. The benefit of reading this book would be to help you find a starting platform to fix the arrows that you have in your own life. And I would recommend this book as a platform to find the problems they discuss and let God do the rest of the work because he is the only one who can heal our hearts.