Intimacy and Self-Disclosure in Online Relationships
Intimacy, self-disclosure, and online relationships aren’t words that typically come up together in a sentence. However, they surprisingly correlate with one another a decent amount, especially when looking at how online relationships affect intimacy and self-disclosure. There will be seven articles discussed in this research paper, each addressing how self-disclosure can affect intimacy in online relationships. This can include dating apps and social media. Can self-disclosure influence intimacy? Do people use more or less self-disclosure online? Can higher self-disclosure lead to a more successful relationship? These are all questions that will be addressed in the body of this paper, followed by an explanation of why these questions all relate to one another. This is an important topic to have background on because online dating is becoming increasingly relevant in today’s day and age.
The first article, “Internet Initiated Relationships: Associations Between Age and Involvement in Online Dating,” in the Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication by Robert J. Stephure and Susan D. Boon, explored many ideas, but had a focus on disclosure of online relationships to family and friends. They hypothesized that the younger the participant was, the less likely they would be to tell their relatives or friends that they use the Internet to meet people. One hundred and seventy-five subjects between the ages of eighteen and sixty-four years old had their responses analyzed from an online questionnaire that they found through search engines or links placed on academic websites. One of the questions asked was “Have you ever told your family, friends, etc. that you use the Internet as a means of meeting people?” The respondents answered the question on a 7-point scale, one being very unlikely to tell people and seven being very likely to tell people. Contrary to the researchers’ expectations, 70.3% reported that they had disclosed their involvement in Internet dating to family and friends.
While this information may seem irrelevant, it is actually very important to understand how people feel about online dating and how willing they are to disclose that information to others. How they feel about it and express it to other people can be a strong indication of how much they disclose to the person they are in an online relationship with. The more comfortable they feel talking about online dating publicly, the more comfortable they will feel actually participating in that online relationship. Self-disclosure is one of the main components in online dating, so the more confident you are in dating online, the more likely you are to use more self-disclosure.
The second article, “Why Would You Decide to Use an Online Dating Site? Factors That Lead to Online Dating”, studied self-disclosure in online dating, but more specifically what led participants of online dating forums to use this form of interpersonal relationship establishment.
An analysis was conducted from survey data collected by telephone poll that took place from September through December 2005 via random dialing. There were 3,215 participants, men and women, aged 18-95, with education varying from 1 through 7 years post high school graduate. The survey measured results using yes/no questions, as well as questions scaled 1-4 regarding internet usage and reliability/trustworthiness. The information gathered was used to determine the likelihood of survey participants to actively engage in online dating sites.
The study confirmed that trust was a significant factor that could predict online dating usage. They found that without the nonverbal cues of face to face communication, self-disclosure rates elevate due to the liberation of certain social setbacks, such as anxiety or shyness. Research concluded that those who are more trusting are less likely to use online dating because they are confident enough to date in person. However, it can be deduced that during the beginning stages of a relationship, people are likely to have a higher rate of self-disclosure online than in person because they are able to more easily present themselves in a more attractive way. The pressure of presenting yourself in person is temporary relieved. However, whether this higher rate of disclosure is necessarily a good thing, is still up for discussion. The following two articles will discuss the effects of self-disclosure when used positively and when it is used negatively.
The third article “Self-Presentation in Online Personals The Role of Anticipated Future Interaction, Self-Disclosure, and Perceived Success in Internet Dating” conducted a study to determine the correlation between the way a person reveals information about themselves in an online dating forum and what they anticipate to get out of a face to face meeting. They also looked at the way self-disclosure correlated to how successful they perceive these meetings and overall relationships to be. An online survey using a random sample of 349 United States members of heterosexual men and women from Match.com was used in this study. The sample was 56% female, 93% White, and in their 40s on average (though ranging from 18 to older than 60). Sixty two percent were divorced or separated, and 57% had children. The participants received an invitational email from the researchers explaining the intent of the survey and directing them to the survey website. As an incentive, all respondents were entered into a raffle where a number of $50 Amazon gift cards were given away, as well as daily access to the results of the study.
Although there were five total hypotheses in this experiment, the one that stood out most was hypothesis 5b, which stated that those who were likely to have higher self-disclosure online were also likely to have greater perceived strategic success. People use more self-disclosure online and it is possible they do that because they are more successful in their relationships when doing this. Not only were they more successful in the online dating world, but in face to face communication as well. However, it is likely that the participants were using self-disclosure in a positive way because the next article explores how more of it is not necessarily a good thing.
The fourth article, “First Comes Love, Then Comes Google: An Investigation of Uncertainty Reduction Strategies and Self-Disclosure in Online Dating”, explores the ways that online dating participants control their self-disclosure (share personal information) with potential partners. Multiple studies of online dating participants via paid dating websites were conducted. Fifty-two people participated in online surveys. They were single, over 18 (18, >60) both men and women, gay and straight, had a minimum of a bachelor’s degree and an income range of 50k – 75k. The study determined self-disclosure method and frequency as well as the URS (uncertainty reduction strategy) occurrence among the participants. The questions were answered on a 5-point scale. The researchers’ found that by using uncertainty reduction strategies, you can control the amount of reciprocated self-disclosure based on your belief of the validity of the information one has received from potential suitors. It also allows a person to gain control over the amount of communication via the online forum and communication networks. The studies also found that more disclosure led to more falsified information in order to create a sense of familiarity and recognition.
These findings concluded that the amount and reciprocity of self-disclosure was a key component in the choice to participate in an online dating forum. The findings supported the argument that by using online dating versus traditional face to face encounters, one can diminish dating concerns such as personal safety (physical & emotional) and the amount and the manner in which you wish to disclose personal information. Although there is a higher self-disclosure rate in online relationships, it does not always mean it is accurate information. This is perhaps why people are less trusting online they know about this misrepresentation of yourself. This is a particular hypothesis as to why more self-disclosure online does not have to be a positive thing. Since self-disclosure is one of the major components in any relationship, it can have negative effects if not used honestly.
The fifth article “Revealing the ‘real’ me, searching for the ‘actual’ you: Presentations of self on an internet dating site” explores the presentation of self on an internet dating site. Sixty online daters, thirty men and thirty women and ages 23 to 60 years old, were interviewed and asked a series of questions regarding their motivation to use online dating sites, how they constructed their profiles, what kind of people they would be attracted to, and what kind of personal information they disclosed to their online potential date. Their findings discovered that participants believed that cyberspace was a safe place to identify their “true” self or play around with presentations of themselves. However, the interviewees stated that they were attracted to genuine and honest people rather than people who put up a façade and appeared stereotypical or clichéd. Another finding was that the amount of information individuals initially self-disclosed to a potential partner is very different online than it is online. In person, sharing information would be a gradual process, however, in an online relationship, this process happens much quicker because the people feel they are in a safer environment.
This study revealed that based on the type and honesty of the information disclosed to potential online dating partners, the more or less attracted they would be to them. Trust is a reoccurring theme in how well and successful a relationship will be, whether online or offline. Also, most people tend to feel more comfortable disclosing more information online, which dating partners found more attractive, however, the integrity of that information would be a deciding factor in the success of the relationship. The next article will reveal how being deceitful will affect intimacy in an online relationship.
The sixth article, “A Study of Online Misrepresentation, Self-Disclosure, Cyber-Relationship Motives, and Loneliness Among Teenagers in Taiwan”, investigate the relationships between online misrepresentation, self-disclosure, cyber-relationship motives, and loneliness in teenagers. The study was done by conducting a serious of surveys that consisted of yes or no questions. The subjects were six hundred and eight Taiwanese high school students from grades eight to eleven and ranging from thirteen to eighteen years old. Researchers found that the most common misrepresentation behavior was faking one’s external information to make them appear more attractive to potential partners.
No true intimacy can lie in relationships that are based on deceit. While they felt more comfortable disclosing false information online, as discussed in the previous article, subjects found it extremely unattractive when in person, people did not match up with their online profiles. This article also relates back to the fact that less trusting people use online dating websites and apps and it is because of all the false information that is being disclosed. This article contributed to the hypothesis that intimacy is based on trust, and therefore truthful information.
The seventh article, “Effects of self-disclosure on relational intimacy in Facebook”, examines the relationship between self-disclosure and intimacy on Facebook. They studied the results of a survey taken by 249 respondents. An interesting finding they discovered was that a larger amount and more positive self-disclosure lead to increasing intimacy in Facebook. Even though Facebook is not a dating website, higher self-disclosure was still a desired thing among potential dating partners. It can be assumed that just in general, people who had higher self-disclosure online, whether that be a dating app or social media, were more successful when finding a partner.
Throughout all of these articles, there was a reoccurring theme; people tend to use higher self-disclosure when participating in online relationships. Initially, this use of high disclosure attracted potential dating partners, however, when these partners found out that their information wasn’t truthful, it ultimately led to an unsuccessful relationship. The studies found that people are more attracted to genuine, honest people, so when they realize that the information wasn’t truthful they instantly became unattracted. While having high self-disclosure online can expedite the levels of intimacy initially, it immediately comes to a halt after learning that the information was false. Having knowledge of this information can greatly help you navigate relationships of any kind, whether that be an online relationship, one in person, with a romantic partner, or even a friend. Communication is a key component in any relationship, so knowing a little bit about how much and what kind of information one should disclose to someone can greatly improve the state of that particular relationship.