There’s no denying there is a gender discrepancy in the world today. Stereotypically, women are to stay home to cook, clean, and watch over children while the man works outside of the home and brings in the money. With that said, it’s 2017 and stereotypes are changing. There has been a major shift in gender roles, and it comes with major change in gender roles come with a lot of questions that families in the past were never faced with. Some of these questions are; Does bringing work home really affect a family atmosphere? If so, is this effect greater in males or females? What are there all these ideas about women in the workforce making less money? Are these ideas true? What happens when a parent begins to prioritize their career over their family? Bringing work home dramatically affects your family life and writers like Richard Dorment, Elizabeth O’Laughlin, Gudbjörg Rafnsdóttir, and Anne-Marie Slaughter can explain why.
Bringing work home is a very easy thing to do for both genders, but one writer has experience in this area and has identified the difference in the effect of mothers bringing their work home versus fathers doing so. Gudbjörg Rafnsdóttir speaks on this exact point in her essay, Balancing Work–family Life in Academia: The Power of Time. She explains the difference between men and women working at home by interviewing multiple people of each gender. She explains how when women have to work from home, they like to do so in the same setting where their families are (living rooms, kitchens, or their children's rooms) so they feel like they aren’t fully abandoning their families and don’t have as much guilt as they originally would. It’s obvious that mothers worry more about this because when they work from home they do their best to do so in a family setting, where they can still be present for “family time” while getting their work done. Rafnsdóttir shows this by interviewing a woman who says, “It feels more as if they are supporting their family when they do not isolate themselves in a separate room.” The men interviewed tended to have a slightly different response than the women. One man she interviewed said he “…works long hours because he likes it and has decided to do so. Working late in the evening is not a consequence of the time he has to spend with his family.” This attitude was common in not only the fathers interviewed by Rafnsdóttir, but, in many other men in different areas of life as well. One of these men is Richard Dorment. He shares his input on the idea that men tend to be more okay working during “family time” very similarly to how the other men who were interviewed did. He says, “Men are raised to be the providers, so it’s easier for them to be absent.” This reassures Rafnsdóttirs exact point. Men don’t feel the same type of guilt women do, even if they’re in the same position. In the end of all her surveys, Rafnsdóttir concluded that “men do not express the need to justify their work to their wives or their family,” which is the complete opposite of women who “express more guilt over working at inconvenient times than their male colleagues.” She believes this is because men still think of themselves as the primary breadwinners of the family, just as Dorment said.
Another writer who talked about the division of work in the home (and out of home) between him and his wife, as well as the division of chores in the home, is Richard Dorment in his essay Why Men Still Can’t Have It All. He begins his essay by contradicting common misconceptions people have about women in the workforce, most of his arguments being contrary to what Anne-Marie Slaughter said. One fallacy he focuses heavily on is women making less money than men. He argues that women should make less because they take more time off to have babies and be mothers than their male counterpart does. He states that in the time women take off for maternity leave, men are “chug-chug-chugging along” in the workforce. He goes on to say he believes that when women get back to work they make it right back up to the top where they were originally. He believes this phenomenon is leading to unequal pay becoming increasingly more uncommon for women in today's society. Another point he makes is that men make more “personal sacrifices” than women do. This is the exact opposite of Slaughter’s idea, who says that women are constantly having to make sacrifices to be a successful employee as well as a successful mother. One of the sacrifices he explains is “too many weekends at the computer,” which relates directly to the thesis. Dorment says he chose to spend a lot of time working when he could have been with his family, which is what Slaughter said she had to do before she quit her government job. This is one of the only points the two agreed on. Overall, Dorment is very against the stigma of uneven work for men and women. He believes women have the same fair opportunity as men; the only difference being men and their willingness to take the extra step of being absent in the house when women will not. Slaughter is a perfect example of his theory- she quit her nice paying government level job because it required her to be absent from the home too often.
A man who submitted the essay Education: Work-Life Balance – Balancing Family Life with General Practice anonymously talks about working in general practice and all the ups and downs to this. In his entry, he lists tips for people with families who want to get into general practice. One of his tips is to avoid working from home at all costs. He drills into the reader's mind just how damaging this can be to not only oneself, but also to the people around you. One point he makes to show the reader another viewpoint is the impact working from home has on your kids when they witness you choose your work over them. He explains that, “you are more likely to inspire your children to follow in your career footsteps if you pursue some other interests, outside of your GP work, that they can enjoy with you.” Moreover, if you show your children you value more than just your work, they will become inspired and want to work hard in their own life. This is similar to Slaughter’s view. She talks about her children a lot in her essay and claims she found the more absent she was, the more her children acted out. The anonymous writer is explaining ways to avoid the same problems Slaughter dealt with. Another important point he makes is to, “ do the work at the surgery and don't take it home.” He means that working as a surgeon is already such a demanding practice that it’s important to have separation from it at some point, and this goes for any profession. As he said, life needs to be more than just work if you truly desire a solid family life and want to inspire your children.
Another element to balancing work and family life is the effect that overworking yourself can have on your children. Elizabeth O’Laughlin says “working at home may create behavior-based conflict, as the focus and energy needed to fulfill work expectations is likely to conflict with demands for attention from children and/or spouses.” This is yet another negative example to working from home; your family will feel neglected and it can even add to behavioral issues. Anne-Marie Slaughter dealt with behavior issues in her family life. She discussed how she was absent when her children were growing up so her husband was in charge of all events during the week, and because of this she had real issues with her 14 year old. She said he was “skipping homework, disrupting classes, failing math, and tuning out any adult who tried to reach him.” She believes this was a result of her absence. Because her government level job was so demanding, she would only come home on the weekends unless there was an emergency. After a while it got to be too much and she said she would be in the middle of very important work events (like meeting the Obamas) and only be able to think about her misbehaving kids. This is when she knew she’d had enough. She quit her job and went back to being a full-time mom because she came to the conclusion that “juggling high-level government work with the needs of two teenage boys was not possible.” This a sacrifice Slaughter made that not all parents do.
In a table presented by O’Laughlin, a question was presented: What impact, if any, does your career have on your family? 32% of men said that because of their career they spend less time with their family, while only 28% of women said this. The 4% difference is what is discussed in this essay. Women tend to fall back more to take care of their families. Just like Slaughter did when she quit her job to be a better mother. This is also exactly what Richard Dorment talked about in his essay when he explained that women tend to change their lifestyle for their families more than men do.
Regardless of gender, bringing work home negatively affects families everywhere. When work begins to take over not only work time but also family time, issues arise. Whether this is behavior issues with your children like Slaughter experienced or a lack of inspiration passed on to your children as the anonymous general practitioner explained, they both agree that the effect it has on your family far surpases negative. Through various examples from writers Richard Dorment, Elizabeth O’Laughlin, Gudbjörg Rafnsdóttir, and Anne-Marie Slaughter, the reader is able to see how working from home negatively affects your family. Furthermore, the difference in men and women working from home is clear. Although men tend to be far less regretful and don’t feel the need to explain themselves to anyone, either gender bringing work home has it’s own negative aspect.