Suzy Nakamura was a normal child, but she was also bright mornings with leaves dripping with gold. She was make-believe-games with princesses and dragons and happy endings. She was pillow fights and finger painting and the burn you feel in your chest after running for too long. She was collecting snow globes and watching her mother's milk swirl into her coffee. She was fuzzy socks and trying to catch snowflakes on mittens for long enough to see their shapes. She was watching her mother french braid her hair and wondering if she would ever be tall. She was the smell of pine tree and piling so many marshmallows into hot chocolate that they overflow over the sides of a specially selected mug. She was the way light from a fireplace dances on the faces of families on christmas, the scent of homemade cookies straight from the oven, and red bows on unopened presents. She was fingers stained with icing and blasting christmas songs, she was getting tinsel in your hair and wanting the tallest Christmas tree in the lot. She was watching the thanksgivings day parade and trying not to be distracted by the heavenly smells from the kitchen. She was spinning as fast as she could on ever office chair she could find, and running to the swings at ever playground. She was biting into the warm dough of a soup dumpling and letting the flavors roll around her tongue. She was whispering cheesy pick up lines into her pillow at night, she was falling asleep on long car rides, she was wanting a pony for christmas and always winning hide and seek. She was the chill of peppermints in your mouth, and she was colorful shreds of wrapping paper that lay all over the floor. She was the way a child's eyes light up when they see their first frost, she was making snow angels before there was enough snow, she was the delight of seeing your breath come out as smoke. She was watching as the sun goes down early, and she was getting a new bike for christmas. She was the smell of woodsmoke, and the sound of the kettle as you wait for tea. She was the silver necklace from her father she refused to take off, even when she showered. She was wishing she could just lay on the couch eating chips all day. She was failing at anything resembling consistency, she was laughing and crying at the same time, and she was the girl who thought her mother was the most beautiful woman in the world and would fight anyone who said otherwise. She was wishing she had someone other than her mothers freinds’s kids to play with on snow days. She was milk chocolate truffles, stockings stuffed with gifts, the way white lights make a house look almost magical, and the sleepy joy of falling asleep on Christmas day. Suzy Nakamura was a normal child, but she was also winter.
Suzy Nakamura was a normal elementary schooler, but she was also honey and flowers and the way the autumn sun makes the trees look like they are on fire. She was a bright new red jacket that she took off when the kids made fun of her. She was pressed daisies, old stereo music, and oversized sweaters. She was failing classes because she couldn't be bothered to do the homework, she was shutting up and never asking for help, she was a stash of junk food that her mother didn’t know about. She was the peace of a pure blue sky, and she was staying up all night to learn a new language just because. She was getting lost in libraries, filling up notebooks, swimming in the cold ocean at dawn. She was intricate handmade metal bracelets, and talking fast when she was excited about something just to realize that no one was listening. She was ink stains on her hands and writing all up her arms and worried phone calls home about wasted potential. She was all the things that fall: teardrops, rain, stars, leaves, shadows, time. She was sleeping in those extra few minutes under warm blankets because school is useless. She was serial multitasking, she was refusing to write in anything but ballpoint pens and she was dealing out her own justice. She was trick or treating with her brother and his friends since she had no one to go with herself. She was carving pumpkins and accidently cutting herself. She was hating bus rides, but loving long car trips especially if they ended somewhere where the earth was filled with color. She was not caring at all that she was terrible at art, and spending all of her time in the art room anyways because the way everything is arranged slightly differently every time you walk in, and the way the intricate pencil doodles on the desks are never erased, and the way the cups full of paint-colored water sit next to the sink, just all of it, was perfect. She was making apple cider donuts with her mom and bringing the hats and scarfs and knee socks out of storage. She was rosy cheeks from the biting cold and closing her eyes to enjoy the crunch of leaves and pinecones. She was secretly dreaming of boy bands and wishing she dating that cute blonde who sat in front of her in social studies and had once told her that her hair looked cute. She was curled fingers around chain link fences, she was marble statues, and the rustle of old parchment. She was jumping in puddles in her new rain boots but also sneaking a cup of champagne at her babysitters wedding. She was painting her nails red and then quickly chewing the paint off because she would rather be boring than be made fun off. She was going on camping trips with the damp earth and the clear sky and looking up at her mother and thinking “Dad is never gonna come back, is he.” She was milky tired with late nights spent wondering why nobody liked her, and she was curling up all cozy in bed with a good book. She was liking an envolope twice before sending it to make sure it stuck, finishing thousand piece puzzles and she was sneakers with the shoelaces untied. She was pretending to hate all the pumpkin spice flavored treats and drawing pictures in the frost on her car windows. She was joining a dance studio, because she needed an extracurricular. She was getting up to get a glass of cold water in the deep of night, and she was kicking her blankets off the bed no matter how cold it was. She was falling completely in love with ballet and she was a steadily growing pile of gray ballet shoes that had once been pale pink. She was that single stray piece of glitter on her face, and she was cinnamon filled pastries and smelling candles in the crisp morning air. Suzy Nakamura was a normal elementary schooler, but she was also autumn.
Suzy Nakamura was a normal middle schooler but she was also dreaming of an apartment in the city covered in film camera pictures and half finished sketches. She was spending hours reading on the porch with a soft cat in her lap and she was falling asleep late to the sounds of cicadas and all the night creatures. She was pixie sticks and firefly lights on the beach and mosquito bites. She was Spanish moss pouring from the trees and the scent of honeysuckle being carried by the soft breeze. She was loud, trying to stop hesitating while speaking up for others. She was the city lights at night, and she was the burning down her through when she drank too much. She was helping with the community garden and braiding flowers into her cousins hair. She was messy half up buns, and gold accent jewelry because that's what all the other girls were wearing. She was checking the temperature of water with the tip of her toes, she was blasting music through her headphones, and she was pretending to still be innocent. She was falling in love for the first time, and she was falling out of love for the first time. She was covering her mouth with her hand when she laughed so that people couldn’t see her teeth, she was sipping lemonade through twisty straws, she was getting into screaming matches with her mom. She closing her eyes and going over her dance routines in her head and trying to eat less. She was charcoal smudged hands and bruised feet, she was declining calls from her dad. She was blowing bubbles, and she was a crescent moon. She was wishing she was musically gifted, and trying to calm her windblown hair. She was people-watching instead of doing her summer reading, she was the feeling in your stomach when one goes upside down on a rollercoaster. She was putting on her mom’s high heels and wishing her eyes were bigger. She was bubblegum pink lipstick she never had the courage to wear, she was bare feet on hot sand and bulletin boards with inspirational quotes. She was apple pie with vanilla ice cream and sarcastic comments muttered underneath her breath and hiking until it gets hard to breath. She was the way sunbeams dance on the surface of the lake near her house. She was worrying about the rent and taxes and the electricity bill even though her mother said she was way too young for those things. She was terrible at small talk and she was stabbing herself in the eye with a mascara wand. She was doing the whole group project by herself, and she was balloons blowing in the wind. She was abstract art but not modern art, she was wishing she knew what it felt like to have a best friend. She was putting messages in bottles and planning elaborate revenge plots that she never carried through with. She was spiral staircases and wishing she wasn’t such a stereotypical only child and she was clouds that have been painted soft pink by the sun. She was drawing words with sparklers alone in her backyard and heavy wooden doors and cracked pavement and she dreamed of a world through stained glass. She was lying in bed in the middle of the night bathed by the glow of her mom’s old laptop as she scrolled through article after article on how to be liked. She was cold showers and writing her to-do lists in permanent marker just to leave all the items undone. Embroidery, touching a butterfly's wing, rocks in a stream, and hating math to the ends of the world and back again. She was putting a blanket over her moms back when she fell asleep at her work table. She was getting a summer job and getting fired the next day because she refused to serve a customer who called her a slur and she was swimming lessons in the afternoons. Suzy Nakamura was a normal middle schooler, but she was also summer.
Suzy Nakamura was a normal high schooler, but she was also green bubs poking up through the fresh earth. She was fresh air, and feeling like a failure when she got an 80 on a global quiz. She was taking long runs in the morning to clear her head. She was realizing she had to actually study to do well on tests, that having an organized locker is actually very helpful, and that gel pens are one of the greatest things in the world. She was a competitive dancer with pointed feet and she was stretching every morning and every night. She was loving bath bombs and hot coffee with as much creamer and sugar as she could get away with. She was making sure she stayed hydrated, and throwing on a ratty sweatshirt because honestly there is no one she needs to impress. She was finally in a group of friends and she made sure they all knew how much she appreciated them. She was paint smudged on her face and mood swings and could perfectly explain photosynthesis to anyone who asked. She was songbirds in the morning and trying in vain to get the cat hair off her black clothes and using all her impulse control not to doodle on her bio notes. She was dry shampoo way too much, had books full of unuseased story ideas and could use up a whole roll of polaroid film in one sitting. She was always helping people who dropped their books even if it meant being late to class and she was ankle boots and struggling to put her thoughts into words and forgetting to water her bonsai tree. She was the one other kids wanted to cheat off of in class, bites her bottom lip a lot, and giggles at other people's jokes only if they are funny. She was loving rainstorms and reading a new novel ever week. She was only swearing in her head and subconsciously scrunches up her nose when she thinks. She was waking up to texts from her friends, she was clear lipglass and a carefully done high ponytail. She was dimples and forehead kisses and helping with the dishes. She was subconsciously humming, she was the best poker face, she was trying on new makeup styles for different seasons. She was sunflowers standing tall, and playing chess in the park. She was the girl everyone wants to cheat off of on tests. She was lemon ginger tea with honey and she was dreaming of all the wonderful places she would travel too when she grew up. She was knowing the names of all the people in her class and always having an extra pencil, she was knowing exactly what she would name her band if she had any musical talent. She was the girl who did her english homework for fun, and she was slipping her babysitting money into her mother's wallet. She was a horrible driver who never wanted to talk about her first kiss, and she was browsing Wikipedia long into the night. She was barely ever sick, with a perfect attendance record. Suzy Nakamura was a normal high schooler, but she was also springtime.
Suzy Nakamura was a normal girl, but she was also so much more than that. She was happy and sad and loving and angry and all the seasons. She was a college student, and then she was a working mom, and then she was a grandmother with eyes that glittered like wet pavement. And now she is a name on a gravestone, a name on a gravestone with a bouquet of sunflowers laying in front of it.
The gravestone will sit throughout the seasons. Through spring, through summer, through autumn, through winter. Suzy Nakamura is dead, but she is not forgotten
I choose to write about Susy because I thought she was an interesting yet unexplored character. I had her have a lonely but happy childhood because although she doesn’t have a lot of friends, she also jokes around with Wei (pg. 95, panel 6). I think she would have a strong bond with her mother because she is a generally loving character, for example she is very lovey dovey to her boyfriend Wei (pg 94, panel 2). She is also represented in this piece as kind because she won’t let Wei say something mean about Jin and encourages him to be nicer (pg. 98, panel 3). She also waited for Wei when he was at math circles which shows that she is devoted (pg. 185, panel 3). I had her feel alone a lot of the time and she thought of herself as a “chink” all the time (pg. 187, panel 2). I also had her be a slightly protective and a bit aggressive person because she slaps Jin when he kisses her (pg. 188, panel 2). I had her be interested in the arts and uninterested in school but still smart because she gives me that kind of vibe.