It was the end of June 2004 when my mother broke the news to me that we were moving from the only home I had known in Alexandria, Virginia, to go to Mobile, Alabama, in a matter of one and a half months. For someone such as myself who always pushed back on any sort of change, this was a tough situation to process. While this was a major life change, it was not one my mother took lightly. My mom had been a single parent for over three years. She had done a wonderful job to give me a stable life as much as possible after my parents had separated. However, having no outside supports, the high expenses of living, inconsistent income and not much financial support from my father made the reality of being able to maintain a stable and healthy life in the DC area difficult. When evaluating her options, mother realized that she had the opportunity to gain stronger financial stability and family support by moving in with my grandmother in Mobile. Looking back, I’m glad that the great move during the summer of 2004 was an event that occurred.
Strengths
My mother showed incredible courage in her decision to move. Instead of feeling victimized by the reality she was facing, she utilized resources to control the factors to lead to a positive outcome by moving. The positive outcome of us building a new home by relocating resulted in a sustainable environment and life for the two of us. My mother showed forethought and used her resourcefulness to be adaptable and change her situation (Rogers, 2016). These concepts are ways my mother showed that she worked from a strengths perspective in moving our lives forward (Rogers, 2016). Forethought was shown through her concern with the impact that an economic downturn could have on our family stability if she chose to keep us in Alexandria. She was concerned that if we stayed and a downturn occurred, such a situation would leave us at risk of foreclosure on our home. She also would no longer be able to afford the costs of Catholic education, in addition to the other negative impacts, socially and emotionally on both of us, because we were essentially living paycheck to paycheck. Additional forethought and adaptability were shown because she recognized that I also was in a transition phase of my life and moving at this particular time in the long term would be better for me socially and emotionally (Rogers, 2016). I had just finished 8th grade at my elementary school where I had been enrolled since pre-kindergarten. Because I was transitioning to a new school for high school, my mother knew that while a move would be challenging, it would be one that I would be making regardless. If we had waited and moved out of necessity after I had started high school that transition could have had negative impacts caused by changing to a new high school, in a new place, after I had already found stability in school. Her work as a recruiter for attorneys was flexible enough she could do it anywhere and travel to the DC area as needed. She seized the opportunity to sell and make the move when my transition to a new school coincided with a rise in the prices in the housing market. Coincidentally, the economy did have a significant financial downturn in 2008.
Cultural Influences
Religion, specifically that of the Catholic faith, was a large cultural influence on the decision to move to Mobile (Walsh, 2010). Our family’s deep Catholic roots have been a large influence on family and individual identities (Walsh, 2010). Because of my family’s history and relationship with the Catholic Church, both of my parents placed a high value on Catholic schooling. It was important to both of them that I be educated in the Catholic school system. However, the reality of a private school, especially in Washington, DC, came with a very high price tag. Due to high tuition costs and diminishing financial resources to pay for my education, the choice to relocate to Mobile was an important decision so that my family would be able to provide me with the Catholic education they highly valued. Also, by moving to Mobile, the cost of the Catholic high school I attended there would be a fraction of the cost of the high school in Alexandria.
Another significant cultural influence on the decision to move was the importance of family. Mom grew up in an environment that highly valued family relationships. While living in Alexandria we had strong relationships with friends. However, there were no other familial relationships nearby for me to develop strong family connections besides those with my parents. Familial relationships became even more important to my mother after my parents had separated, negatively impacting my relationship with my father. These family relationships also became more important to my mother not only as a support system, but also for the significance to my own development (Davies, 2010). The act of moving not only gave me more access to family in closer proximity but it also allowed me to live in a multigenerational household that valued the system of family.
Risk and Protective Factors
One risk factor in particular that was observed during this particular event was the fact that my mother was a single parent and how that could negatively affect my developmental outcome (Davies, 2011). However, my mother was able to mitigate the effects of developmental shortcomings due to single parenting by fostering my relationship with my grandmother. My mother helped to ensure this protective factor by making the decision to move to Mobile where we would all live together in a multigenerational household where my grandmother became a positive, supportive figure to my own personal development (Davies, 2011).
Another risk factor (Davies, 2011) to consider was the fact that my mother was unable to maintain financial stability due to insecure income along with the high costs of living in the Washington, DC area. The high financial cost also contributed to the risk of “ongoing emotional availability and consistency in parenting” (Davies, 2011, p. 73) for my mother. This would risk my mother not being present often in my home life and, in turn, in my emotional support for my development because she would be out of the household working longer hours to try to mitigate the high cost of living to cover basic costs and tuition for my schooling.
Moving to Mobile was an example of another protective factor to mitigate the threat of these risks (Davies, 2011). By moving, my mother was able to drastically cut the cost of living, minimizing her need to be out of the house working so that she would be able to provide the needed support to aid in my emotional support. Additionally, because of the move she was able to work from home as she used technology to work from home and be a more constant, supportive presence in my life (Davies, 2011).
Oppression
Oppressive factors were present in the decision my mother made to relocate us to Mobile. Financial strain due to economic stressors were oppressive to my mom as a single parent (Turner & Maschi, 2015). However, it is important to note that while there was a level of economic hardship, the impact also was not as oppressive as it could have been. My mother was able to combat many challenges though safety nets she had been able to build due to access to resources along with her own level of privilege (Turner & Maschi, 2015). While my mother was a single parent, she came from a strong, middle class, white family. The privilege that came along with that identity allowed my mother to have access to certain opportunities that minority women would not have been able to necessarily access (Turner & Maschi, 2015). For instance, my mother had the opportunity to earn her law degree at a good Washington, DC law school which opened doors for her to get connected with solid legal employment opportunities. Those connections helped her gain independent financial stability and access to stock brokers who helped her build up her savings through quality investments. This safety net allowed her to buy time, so to speak, to choose to be able to move in a transition time instead of as a forced decision that was out of her complete control (Turner & Maschi, 2015). While these resources did not allow my mother to keep us in place permanently in our home in Alexandria, it bought her the time to move on her own terms in the best interest of our family.
Empowerment
It’s easy to look back on the move and see these outside forces that led to the ultimate decision to leave Alexandria. However, this move also was an opportunity for my family to be empowered. The way my mom explained how she perceived the financial situation we faced fits into a perspective from the ecological theory (Bronfrenbrenner, 1979). My mother explained that she saw our financial situation as an opportunity to start over. This fits into the ecological perspective on how people are active participants in their environment and how one’s perception influences the way a situation is handled (Rogers, 2016). For my mother, she was empowered to create something new. She seized the opportunity to sell our home while the housing market was high, turning it into an opportunity to pay off the mortgage and other debts instead of feeling helpless and also avoiding a potential critical financial situation down the line. My mother used her healthy relationship with my grandmother as an opportunity to bring down our cost of living and join our individual systems to build one complete household.
Resilience also was an element involved in empowerment in this particular event. My mother was able to navigate internal and external resources to help build a more meaningful and sustainable life experience through moving (Ungar, Ghazinour, & Richter, 2013) (Singer, 2018). Her relationships with her closest friends provided her with social and emotional support needed to make the tough decision to move. She created her own job opportunity to maintain a source of income, so she would have employment in Mobile. My mom knew she would not be able to get a job as a practicing attorney in Mobile due to having to take another bar and the length of time that had passed since she had worked as an attorney. There was not much of an opportunity in the legal market to provide legal recruiting services that would be sustainable in Mobile either. Instead, she came up with a plan to build a working partnership with her former boss so she could continue to work from home with clients in Washington by starting her own business in Mobile.