Introduction
In the past, the term “family” was quite easy to understand: it meant a couple getting married and having children and grandchildren. But in our current era, the concept of families have evolved and has gradually become more convoluted as it has changed structurally; despite its definition remaining the same. Today there are single-parent, same-sex, joint and nuclear families living together in the same society. As we have evolved, our perspectives have changed, which mainly led to this. The road to evolution doesn’t come easy though, and there are questions raised whether we’ve evolved in the right direction as some people disagree and tend to sustain traditional ways of thinking. In my opinion, the concept of family doesn’t dictate how you live your life, or who you live with, it depends on your perspectives and if it has really evolved. It’s about the bond and love shared between people. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter on how you define a “modern” family, what matters is that it is a family nevertheless. The advancement of technology, social norms or the way of life doesn’t and will never change that.
Why people agree with this evolution.
Today, the decisions we make are made with almost full freedom. We have learned to become more independent as individuals; an examples of this, is the marriage decisions only we get to make. According to Coontz (2007), the new independence of individuals, enables them to form healthy relationships with each other and build more successful lives as singles. This newfound freedom allows people to stop being afraid about society’s perceptions and take bold steps as they’re independently secure. For example, this evolution have caused same-sex couples to come out and take bold steps to start a family and adopt children, and single-parents to not live in shame. This wasn’t possible before as marriage had to follow a certain regime. Marriage was more of a regulation than a personal decision and were formed due to economic and political benefits or dowry settlements. Some women just got into marriage to achieve a financially secure future even when they weren’t happy. Hence, the main benefit of our modern day age is that no one can force us to do anything and we have the freedom to choose our own happinesses which includes being able to live and make the family we desire.
Nowadays, there are a variety of different options to pursue something other than marriage. Individuals get to live the life they want, with who they want without the public eye's forcible control over them. For instance, women’s financial freedom these days have decreased the requirement for a full-time housewife, causing them to focus on themselves for a change. These changes are great in terms of having the right to live how you want, but problems can still arise. The new lifestyles we get to explore today, result in people putting less effort in their relationships, which leads to the lack of prominent family strength. To clarify, studies and researches have made people realise moms are "quitting," now as they aren’t putting enough effort to take of their children. A recent survey in the UK, showed how 70% of parents and children don’t have a weekly evening at home while 15% manage to set aside time to be together less than once a month (O’Grady, 2017). This reflects the society we live in today, where modern families have evolved to a point where they don't even have time to spend with their loved ones. Thus, emphasising on the fact how families are falling apart, due to the freedom we have today.
The history of the family is complicated and has evolved in many ways over the years. Before, each individual had particular responsibilities they had to follow, which would cause them to get bashed and mistreated, if they didn’t abide by it. Women, in particular suffered through this the most, due to the huge amount of sexism they faced as they were considered “inferior” to men. According to traditional family and gender roles, men were the breadwinners of the family, while women were the primary caretakers of the house, and was responsible for most of the family work (Geiling, 2013). Moreover, guaranteeing paternity ended up vital in the exchange of property to true successors, and the privilege and sexuality of females weren’t given. For example, in certain parts of India, families prefer getting boys rather than girls. When girls were born, they were considered as financial liability (Abhinand, 2016),Whereas males were considered the future of the family. This reflects how the greatest advantage of the society we live in today is getting equal rights as individuals. In families, everyone is treated with equal respect and importance – all genders, same-sex, single-parent, and nuclear families are all the same today.
This graph further proves my statement of how society has really evolved to accept each other. From this graph, the huge jump of supportment from people for gay marriage can be seen. This is due to the community’s perspectives, which have changed to be more accepting of one another and become more open-minded. People have realised how not following a particular standard isn’t wrong, as individuals have learnt to speak up for themselves. The striking numbers from the survey, shows the acceptance of gay couples receiving kids hopped to 61% from 49% in 2006, reinforcing my point. Moreover, 65% think being gay is just the way individuals are and isn’t a decision. However, there is a 41% of people who oppose to express help for same-sex marriage. This could presumably be the older generation, as they might still be having an outdated point of view due to the society they were brought up in. On the bright side, more youthful ages express larger amounts of help for same-sex marriage today, which allow homosexuals to wed legitimately. Thus showcasing that we have indeed evolved as a society and have become supportive of one another, compared to before.
Why people disagree with this evolution.
Families come in different varieties today. There are no “typical” families anymore. This is good as this allows us to come together as a society to welcome and accept each other. But sometimes we face the harsh reality of the differences families might share, leading to conflicts. To illustrate the point, there’s still people who believe a married man and women along with their offsprings is ultimately the definition of a “family”. Countries like Argentina, Peru and China agree on this (The Sustainable Demographic Dividend, n.d) and they even have laws that state this should only happen. This ended up causing same-sex parented families to be the least-represented families, because of the stigma surrounding them (Cindi, 2016). This causes citizens to feel as if they were forced to follow this particular culture and standard of society. For instance, single parents were normally condemned as they weren’t seen as genuine families and were often bashed and discriminated on their marital status. Nevertheless, it is essential to accept different family structures as a community, not just for the individuals who are considered 'ordinary'.
Strong families and communities used to represent power and unity. Whenever someone was sick, in trouble or had to make important decisions, their families would always be there to encourage and support. Local communities played the same role before people were close-knit rather than divided. For example, in the Chinese Ming Empire, when the power of kings and rulers were more significant, they would increase taxes, hire more labourers or soldiers, but they knew better than touch the communities directly (Harari, n.d). Instead they used society's weaknesses against them for profit. To clarify, community seniors used to keep check on their families expenses or earnings. Families and communities back then could confine their members similarly like modern states and markets and they acted on pressure as well as violence. Individuals who didn’t have the support from their families or communities were good as dead (Harari, 2011). This shows the value for a community and how much it meant to a person back then, compared to today’s time, where you don’t need anyone. Families support are considered unnecessary if you already know you’re doing well, and because of the excess freedom provided now, we have become more preoccupied with ourselves.
Today, families and communities lack consideration and value. According to Harari (2011) states and markets used their growing power to weaken the traditional bonds of families and communities. This was done due to the fear they held of the power and unity these communities shared. Problems or issues within a family was made into court cases, and traditions or cultures of local communities were turned into business designs as the population got brainwashed with the concept of “individuality”. People got influenced by the ideas of having the rights to do what they will, even if their families weren’t happy, because having personal freedom only seemed to matter. Family values started to disappear and it became all about the state and the market, as they claimed to provide all basic necessities including education, employment, protection, and insurance. The importance of families were cast aside due to this. But what the government could never give was the love and devotion that only families could supply – which people have seemed to forgot due to the major changes around them. Families have changed from big and close-knitted to small and far apart. As we grew, the importance of the community disappeared. It became all about taking care of yourself and your needs.
Consequences
One of the consequences of modern families is the impact it leaves on the children who live in these families. For example, research has shown that when a child loses a parent to divorce or separation, it has an impact on the child’s well-being and future behaviour (GoodTherapy.org, 2012). Children would have trouble adjusting to their new family structure, which affected them psychologically and emotionally. Furthermore, the gift of individuality leading to modern families comes with a cost. We have lost the power and unity of strong communities and families as we have fallen down at the hands of society. Modern families today are often quite small, which increases the pressure of sustaining a family. In almost 50% of every one of the two-parent families today, the two guardians work all day, depriving youngsters from getting a proper childhood experience. The problem these families face, is the trouble of adjusting everything. Working guardians say they feel pushed, worn out, short on quality time with their kids, companions, accomplices and their self. This is because the family structure appears to have changed, laws of the government or the work environment structure haven't appeared to adapt to a standard, thus causing a negative impact on the children of these families.
This would be quite worse for single-parent families as they had to take care of their households all by themselves, while trying to support their family financially. This causes them to miss out to take care of their children’s personal needs like being there for them when they need to. Issues like these affect the children psychologically and emotionally. As stated by Knaus (2017), poverty is rising in single-parent families, as the doubling of childcare costs combines with stagnant wage growth, falling home ownership and low child support payments to fuel financial strain. I don't agree with this, as it's just assumptions made on stereotyping. One parent could be financially stable enough to provide all basic necessities without falling off the deep end; but only a few fortunate parents have this luxury. For instance, many teenage mothers find it difficult to secure a well-paying job, due to their lack of qualification. On the bright side, steps and initiatives can be taken to prevent these problems. Paid family leave and after-school kid care would fundamentally ease guardians' pressure. Single parents don’t have enough time as couples to spend with their kids, thereby showing the consequence of living in today's society.
Not all is lost though as things can be done to improve our modern society. For example, developing family friendly work policies, not only reserved for highly paid or highly skilled workers but are guaranteed to all workers through federal regulation will help (Coontz. S, 2007). Today, there are 20 countries that offer financed maternity or parental leave since childcare is unfunded. Moreover, in Australia, workers get to take leave for almost a full year, unfortunately without getting paid. A report made at Harvard University has found out 107 different nations allow women to breastfeed at work; 137 nations command paid yearly leave, with 121 of these nations ensuring two weeks or more every year. But these benefits should be given for every country as well. Single guardians, living together couples, gay and lesbian families, and separated guardians are currently a changeless piece of the photo. They, as well, require emotionally supportive networks to enable them to go on with their lives.
Conclusion
In conclusion, this research has broadened my view and perspectives about the evolution of modern families. I have learnt that the ideal image of a married couple and their children is no longer the standard every family has to abide by. And how throughout the years, individuals have learnt to voice out their opinions which mainly caused change. Today the traditional family structure we once had is vanishing, while modern families are taking over. A modern family in our society means having the independence or freedom in choosing what you want, and who you want to live with. There will always be people in society who will judge and disagree. In my opinion, families are the backbone of society. Families might change structurally and evolve, but the strong bond and love shared between members will never change!