Growing Problem of Bullying
Bullying comes in many different forms, from cyber bulling to physical contact, hurtful words or insults. It is nowadays widely spread in schools but neglected and ignored by teachers and parents, who seem to fail to recognize it as a major problem, with severe consequences for both the children who initiate this violent behavior and those who suffer from it. The constantly bullied are terrorized, insecure and when pushed a little too much, they can break and end up hurting themselves or others. There are measures that, if thought correctly, could help children deal in a more constructive way with their problems, instead of managing them by bullying others but this measures require proper guidance and training from parents and teachers. As a start though, we all should focus our efforts in determining what causes a child to act aggressively and what consequences this behavior has in the schools and on children.
Bullying can be defined an aggressive behavior among school-aged kids and teens with a big gap in power between individuals. “Usually, bullying comprises of actions such as taunting, teasing, threatening to cause harm, name-calling, spreading rumors about someone, and embarrassing in public” (Common Causes of Bullying). But why do students bully their classmates? Kids use their physical strength, notoriety and popularity to control and harm others. They act this way to impress others and gain more popularity, they enjoy the attention they get, they think they are better than the others and that they have the right to induce in such negative behaviors. Bullies often come from troubled and dysfunctional surroundings, growing in a family that doesn’t take care of you, or worse, have parents that give you an example of inappropriate behavior, such as being aggressive towards friends and other family members. Growing in such environment does not signify the kid will become a bully; however, a very large number of kids adopt simulate their parents when growing and end up bullying their peers. Bullies may seem strong and confident, but the majority of them is full of insecurities and with a huge inferiority complex.They bully so that they can feel better than the others, to make themselves feel better. They feel ecstatic when they overpower others and this ecstasy becomes almost an addiction, addiction that is hard to let go, especially if such bliss also makes them gain popularity and attention. This responses give more strength to the harmer and encourage him to continue such behavior. The main reason why bullying is so diffused in schools is because kids can’t control their responses as well as adults do; in fact, an adult that gets irritated or angry for whatever reason, can efficiently manage to calm down and restrain him/her-self from hurting others, but a kid can’t. Kids act on instinct and anything can provoke them. “A child may accidentally wimble into a bully, while walking down the hall. Even though the child will beg for an apology, the bully may lose his temper and hit or shout at him” (Common Causes Of Bullying).
Effects of bullying can severe and extensive; in fact, it can attack a kid’s self esteem so much that he/she’d suffer from it many years even after the bullying has stopped. Victims of prolonged threats and intimidations are bound to deal with anxiety and depression problems throughout their life and, if the threats were severe, the bullying may lead the victims to severe illness, loneliness and low self esteem that persists even in adulthood. Of course, same rule goes for the bullies; in fact, if the bully has never been taught to stop his/her behavior, they’ll continue with it even when adults, perhaps with their work colleagues.
Another aspect that gets affected by bullying is a kids GPA and overall academic performance. After being bullied time and time it is natural for a kid to be scared to go back to school and his/her love for learning drops, causing the grades to drop because of lack in motivation and inability to concentrate. According to the National Education Association, “bullying impacts approximately 13 million students every year, and some 160,000 students stay home from school each day because of bullying” (“Nation’s Educators Continue Push For Safe, Bully Free Environments”). There are schools that don’t really pay attention to certain behaviors and fail to help the bullied students, driving them to the point of dropping out or transferring to a different school. Bullied kids are suffering and in need for assistance. The fact that they spend most of their day in school, with is not a safe place for them, leads them to seek isolation and to distrust others. The fact that the school doesn’t care how kids interact and that it accepts such hurtful behaviors instigates and almost justifies the bullied to seek revenge and act the same way their persecutors do. I remember reading a short story called Rosso Malpelo (or Evil Hair) written by Giovanni Verga, one of my favorite Italian writers of the Italian Realism period, that might have some links with aforementioned behaviors. The story narrates about a small kid, Rosso Malpelo, who, for as long as he could remember, has been ruthlessly beaten and picked upon his peers for no other reason than him having red hair, a symbol of nastiness at that era. After the death of his father, the only person who defended him, he found himself lost and desperate, he sought revenge for the unfairness of his life and started beating up those weaker of him, feeling like he had the right to do so since his entire life he’s been treated the same way, with the excuse he was doing it for their own good, to “toughen” them up. This behavior lead the poor Malpelo to a very short life full of misfortune and suffering, and with not a really happy ending. * Of course the story wasn’t really meant to talk about bullying but more about the critical conditions in which people at that time (late 1800’s), but it really well explains the consequences negative and aggressive actions have on peoples lives. Going back to nowadays bullying, when it gets aggressive, it can have real serious physical effects; such as, excessive marks, big bruises and scars allover the child’s body, and it can lead to a loss of appetite and sleep and excessive anxiety and paranoia.
Bullying has consequences on everyone, the ones committing the act and the people witnessing it. When someone gets bullied there is bound to be a big crowd around them; the bully doesn’t act if there aren’t enough kids watching him/her. All this time, spent searching for victims, strategizing how to best humiliate the poor kids and pleasuring themselves with the notoriety they gain by doing so, could be invested in studying instead. But no, the lack of interest for knowledge and the aggression that persist even in adulthood, leads them toward a life of crime, violence and abuse, if not even sexual harassment. On the other hand, the victims of persistent and repeated bullying, which might have had some interest for school and learning at the time, now suffer from serious psychological problems and, in serious cases, might even have taken their own life. But there are also kids who endured and prevailed, who made their life worthwhile and found a meaning and strength off the bullying they suffered from. A recent song, “Thunder”, performed by Imagine Dragons, is a great example of this accomplishment; in fact, the song is a sort of autobiography of the singer, Dan Reynolds, who once suffered because others hurt him, but now he’s free and living his life at best.
In the second verse of the song, Reynolds is taking the audience back at the time he was a kid and is telling us how he was “bullied” because he dreamed to become a star. The verse:
“Kids were laughing in my classes
While I was scheming for the masses
Who do you think you are
Dreaming 'bout being a big star?
You say you're basic, you say you're easy
You're always riding in the back seat
Now I'm smiling from the stage
While you were clapping in the nose bleeds”
Reynolds is sharing some details of his life while growing up, how he was a dreamer among people who weren’t, kids in his class who laughed at him and made fun of his desire to make millions of people enjoy his art. He is showing his struggles and fears, but is also telling us that he endured the hardship and accomplished his dream, he found strength in his beliefs and rose above the basic and common people.
In conclusion, although there is no real way to completely eliminate bullying, we can make an effort in dealing with it in the best way possible and try to help the kids that are bullied and are bullying, because both sides are suffering. Schools should make an effort in acknowledging more the kids that use violence as a way to show their strength and worth, and start helping by teaching them how to deal with anger in a proper way. Teachers have to help those who are being bullied to, they have to make en effort in protecting them and showing them that they don’t have to be afraid of school and their classmates. Schools should be a pacific place where kids enjoy spending their time and strive for learning new things.