Picture your mother. Think about her job – does she have a full time job as a stay-at-home mom or does she have a part-time or full-time job? How much do you value that work that she does? Now picture the other side of that job she does and ask yourself this question: do you value that work more, less, or the same? I believe that the work value of stay-at-home mothers is equal to that of full time working mothers because they both demand hard and fulfilling work, require similar qualities, and essentially provide the same support for their families.
For the first 12 years of my life, my mother was a stay-at-home mom. Though she did not have a full-time paying job, her job was taking care of me and raising me. And when my siblings were born just three years after me, her workload tripled. I would say that her work was one of the hardest jobs to do. Everyday, she woke up at 5:00 in the morning, fed us, packed our lunches, sent us off to school, got us off the bus after school, fed us again, and got us ready to sleep. She did this day in and day out, never resting or taking a break for herself to relax. Her work of being a full-time mother demanded the same, if not more, hours than a full-time job. I am beyond appreciative for the work that she did for me. When I was about 13 years old however, my mom decided she wanted to get a job that would really challenge her and give a new aspect to her life. She began working at an interior design and home decor store in Malvern; now working as the store manager, she loves her work. Yes, she now has a job, but she still works just as hard as she did. She still wakes up at 5:00 and still gets us our breakfast, packs our lunches, and sends us off to school everyday. From my experience, her work as a full-time mom and that of her job now is equal. She worked just as hard to maintain a happy and functional home, whilst also finding her passion in raising us, and later adding to that passion in interior design and retail.
In Maya Angelou’s poem entitled “Woman Work”, Maya describes the seemingly never ending tasks done by women in a household. Whom the poem is referring to is unknown, but regardless the effect brought about by the words is equivalent. In the first stanza the poem reads, “I’ve got the children to tend / The clothes to mend / The floor to mop / The food to shop” (Angelou 1-4). The first three stanzas of this poem all entail the endless work the woman must do to maintain her household and take care of her children. The work that this includes all requires the same qualities of that of a full time worker – effort, dedication, and persistence. The seeming endless work described by Maya reflects equally on that of a full time working mother, deeming the two positions equal. Further into the poem, in the fourth stanza Maya describes the draining impact that the household and motherly work have on a woman. The woman in the poem describes this saying, “Shine on me, sunshine / Rain on me, rain / Fall softly, dewdrops / And cool my brow again” (Angelou 15-18). This quote can be made to suggest that the entirety of this woman’s life is spent in service to others. Her service is so tiring that at the end of the day, the only things that she has left to give to herself are the elements of nature that surround her. This further proves the point that mothers dedicate themselves to their children, put all of their effort and time in to be successful, and persist to do so everyday when at the end of each day they have nothing left to give for themselves.
In Opting Out?: Why Women Really Quit Careers and Head Home, a book written by author Pamela Stone, real world women discuss the decision they face when thinking about become stay-at-home mothers. In many instances, these women felt they were unable to become stay at home mothers because they thought the toll on them would be too great financially for their family to cope with. In chapter five, called “The Choice Gap”, this very process is recognized. It discusses these problems saying, “How limited women’s options often were, how many aspects of their situation were beyond their control, and how difficult it was for women to exercise the kind of agency and strategic thinking they had demonstrated in their education and early careers before they became mothers” (Stone 106). From this quote, it can be understood how difficult this decision can be for some mothers, as they feel they have no other option to financially turn to. Most of these mothers discussed in the book felt that if they quit their jobs they would have no way to support their family or help financially. Further into chapter five of the book, Pamela Stone enters into the different experiences specific women faced when choosing the option of what was best for them. One of the common feelings felt among these women can be attributed to Joan Gilbert, a thirty-six-year-old non-profit administrator and mother of a two- and a four-year-old. She says in the book that she “attributes her decision to her personal preferences and overlooks the roles played by the limited part time opportunities in her field” (Stone 113-114). This further acknowledges the aforementioned point that women often feel that the limited opportunities provide them no outlet to being successful in full time motherhood. In Joan’s case, her particular field did not accommodate to her leaving her job, and for that reason she simply saw no other way for her to be a stay-at-home mother. This sad reality can be accredited to the lack of understanding these women have of the achievable opportunities within their own reach.
In an article entitled “The Market Value of the Stay-At-Home Mother”, author Barbara Sefton, whom is herself a stay-at-home mother describes in calculations how valuable the work of a full-time mother truly is. She begins by referencing the fact that because the stay-at-home mom does not receive a weekly paycheck, she still contributes to the financial well being in terms of market value. The greatest service of the full-time mother is the childcare she provides. Because daycare is not comparable to full time care in more aspects than one, the proper substitute to stay-home mothers is a full-time nanny. According to The Complete Nanny Guide by Cora Hilton Thomas, the rate per nanny usually varies from $5.00 to $10.00 an hour increasing with each child and level of expertise, which depending on the amount of hours worked can range from $250.00 to $500.00 per week. This means that for a stay-at-home mom who provides child care to her children at least ten hours a day for at least five days every week provides child services that come to a total market value of at least $20,800.00 annually (Sefton). This is a value that would come out of the bank accounts of families without full-time care. Another financial aspect of being a stay-at-home mother is providing transportation to her children and running errands that accommodate her children and family as a whole. Some of these endless responsibilities include transportation to and from school, sports and extracurricular activities, meetings, and shopping for necessities. Unfortunately for families with dual income, it is often a necessity to enlist the services of errand-running businesses and children’s cabs. The article gives a few common examples of these services. “Robert J. Hainsworth, of the NCTA of Naples, Florida, reports that there are more than 350 children's cab companies nationwide, in 46 states, and that the average rate for a one-way ride is $5.00 to $7.00 in most states” (Sefton). The article also goes in depth upon the other charges across the country that range from $8.00 one way up to $25.00 for an hour worth of errand running in the US and Canada. From these costs and services, if a stay-at-home mother makes a minimum of three round-trips per week with a minimum of two hours per week of errands, they provide a service worth a market value of at least $5,096.00 annually. These savings can be reflected upon the counterargument aforementioned because they reveal that stay-at-home mothers do help the family financially and their work saves money in market value that would otherwise be spent in childcare, errands, etc. For these reasons, the stay-at-home mother’s work values the same of a full-time working woman.
The work of a stay-at-home mother is far beyond the simple task it appears to be to some people. The value of motherhood and raising children is a task with equal working value to that of full-time working mothers and people. The work load, the requisite qualities it requires, and finally the financial support it offers to a woman’s family make the task all the more valuable and worthy of recognition and understanding. I now ask you to revisit the question from the beginning. Does the work of a stay-at-home mother value the same as a full-time working mother? Has your opinion changed and if so how? Hopefully, you have come to realize the equality that both of these roles share. Whatever the case may be, however, the true importance is in the recognition of parenthood and the message that being a full time mother is a job and it does, in fact, value the same of that of a full-time working woman.