Clashani Vaz
Professor Jill Levenberg
English 111
November 18, 2018
Bros Before Hos
“Bros before hos’’: the guy code is an article taken from the book Guyland:’’The Perilous
A world where boys become men” (2008), written by Kimmel. In this article, he demonstrates the guy code that he was able to observe during his research regarding young men.
He brings to light the behavior of men amongst other men who show off their masculinity and prove their manhood. The writer is of the opinion that men are constantly observing other men and this is how they come up with ideas to act or behave a certain way. Kimmel believes that guys are constantly monitoring and checking on who's doing what to keep them on the right masculine track which in other words means keeping up with the tough guy code.
Kimmel suggests that boys are under the strong influence of their society stressing over how to
be the real boys and men. This, in fact, is dismantling their real personalities based on the self-created image of how a man or a boy should be. They have come up with a name for this
Perception calling it ‘’THE GUY CODE’’ (2008). Phrases like “it is better to be mad than sad’’ promote violence in a way resulting in more aggression in men. “Take it like a man” (2008).
“Be the man that you are”. Phrases like these sound like ‘Awaken the beast inside you and take revenge’.
“No sissy” (Kimmel 2008). Kimmel suggests that guys have a specific line of code that they observe in their daily life comprising of four basic rules. This rule means you cannot act feminine in any way. If a guy shows any signs of weakness or talks using feminine words he would be breaking the rule and would be turning gay. The second rule is called ‘be a big wheel” (Kimmel 2008). This rule means a guy cannot be suppressed by anyone. The guy has to act like a man has to be dominant and authoritative. It is his role to lead the pack and he can not give up this right otherwise he would be taken for someone weak and grayish. He has to be the boss he is meant to be. Following this is the third rule called ‘be a sturdy Oak’ (2008). This means you can not act like a weak woman you are the man you have to be ready for any situation. No matter how hard the situation the guy has to step up his game and act appropriately. You can not show your emotional side no matter how hard the situation hits you and you're on the verge of breaking down you still have to act strong and hard as a rock. The fourth rule is called “Give Em hell.’’ (Kimmel 2008).This rule leads to the fact that being a man means you can not act like you’re scared of anything. You should go out take risks. Act absurd if you want to act absurdly do what you got to do and you feel is right don't pay attention to how others perceive it. Be the man and live life being a daredevil without paying any attention to those around you.
This article took me back to my own experiences as part of this society where I see my own male friends going by the bro code. The main thing I have observed is that it is very important for guys to not act sissy. The moment someone gets emotional over anything even a break up they are instantly looked as acting like a little girl. Falling under their rule book guys cannot cry over girls or whine about it. They can never shave their legs or get their eyebrows done either because as the writer suggested they would be breaking the line of code set out for them. The guys cannot go running behind girls all day carrying their stuff and following their orders. I have many personal instances that prove Kimmel's ideas. There have been times in which i have clearly seen the parents grooming boys differently telling them to act macho not cry over anything even at very early ages. Coming from an Asian family I have seen even mothers listening to their younger sons and letting them dominate the household just because they are boys, so they are superior.
In my culture boys are allowed to risk their lives driving bikes and cars at such early ages below 16 because they are considered brave and sturdy driving older sisters around but since they are guys, so they have authority over older girls of their family even though they are way too young Themselves. The culture turns most boys at a very early age to segregate themselves and start sitting amongst the older men around them. Most parents I have observed do not even let their kids play with Barbie dolls or dollhouses or kitchen play sets because they fear that would affect their boyhood and later manhood and they would act like girls at some point. The idea of guys cooking in some cultures is also perceived as a feminine thing. The guy has to step up and be a man and not help in the kitchen all day. Also being a guy means living life with full respect from people around him. He cannot take orders from anyone.
“Get laid, get even, get rich and show no mercy”(2008).As Kimmel mentioned in his article the most common thing suggested for a guy is do not hold regrets.. This brings forth the concept that being a man you are more or less invincible because you do not look back on anything you mess up it is totally fine just keep moving forward. You are a guy so you have the right to suppress the weak and enjoy the show. This also, in my opinion, would give way to bullies and instil the feeling of fear amongst women especially. As the article suggests you have to act according to the code or the gender police watching over you is going to get you. Teenage boys especially use words like pussy, woos, girl pants and homo etc. every time they see their male friends taking that first step outside their masculine code. A lot of television shows, music and books are also considered gay to these boys. This can be understood better by an example mentioned in the article when guys use the word faggot. Faggot is like the ultimate gunshot for most of the boys. You can call them homo or girl pants or similar bad words but there is no way you can call someone faggot. By calling faggot you are taking away the boy’s manhood which is a big problem. To be the man that you are, no one would perceive you gay all you got to do is just keep up with the code. According to the article, you just got to keep minding your masculine manners regarding the way you walk talk and dress and it's all good. But the moment someone tries to cross that line drawn between the guys and the homos they get beaten up.
The guy code knows what it expects from its men and no one can dare break those rules.
Sometimes the risks can be enormous risking friendships and family. Guys can put themselves in
Hazardous situations just to prove their masculinity and would definitely care less about the
Outcome.
Summing this I believe writer makes a valid point it is not in the best interest of our society for guys to keep being hard-wired to this bro code. It sounds very convincing when the writer compares something so natural like breathing and blinking to this idea of the bro code. It really does fit like a straight jacket affirming the title of the writer's article “Bros before hos” one hundred percent true and appropriate.
Work Cited
Kimmel “Bros Before Hos: The Guy Code,” Language Awareness: Readings for College Writers, by Paul A Eschholzetal., Bedford/St.Martin’s 2016, PP. 447-484