The bottom of his drink was the object of his utmost attention that night, at least its what his eyes seemed to lie upon the most.
The flame like liquid brought some sort of unexplainable soothing to the bothersome tingling that engulfed his entire being. He looked out onto the opaque drape of maroon that was the autumn sky. The stars have begun to hang in the heavens, as if someone was carefully placing them there while he counted as each new one showed up. But even starting at the sky and counting the stars was not enough to make him forget where he was, as the window he looked through reflected his young face and the yellow glow of the room behind him. Again, the realization of his surroundings dropped on his soul and slightly tugged on his stomach as he reached for the glass again, taking a long swig of the blissful poison that burned his throat.
As he drank, he could see them, the girls. They would glance at him from whichever corner of the room they were found, and look upon him with such an intense gaze that he felt as if he would crumble from the longing in their eyes. Lev was used to this, the affectionate glances from the softer sex. When he was younger, it was only because of his looks. His mother always seemed to take pride in how her son resembled her, and carried all the beautiful features that were meant for a daughter. The blonde locks like grain on their field, going from light to dark depending on how the sun would hit them, the crystal clear blue eyes, and lips that looked as if they were stained by berries. The only resembalance Lev held to his father were his strong, sharp jaw and a personality which all women lie about despising. His father was short of words, but when he spoke it was only with purpose. He was direct, and a glance into those ominous, brown eyes brought a chillness to the soul. The only person those eyes warmed for were Lev’s beautiful, lively mother. Lev wished he could say that those eyes also looked upon his children the same way, but that would be a lie. His mother provided the love necessary from both parents, and Lev accepted that early on. It was not as if father did not love him, but if he did, Lev could never tell.
Lev knew that father would much rather give what little affection he had to his elder son Kyrylo. Lev always envied his older brother because of this, but how could he blame his father for loving someone that was the mirror reflection of him. Kyrylo had all the intense features father had, but the dark eyes were different. Kyrylo’s eyes were hypnotizing, they were the kindest eyes Lev had ever looked into. They never held any hidden meaning behind them, they never left Lev uneasy. With Kyrylo, everything was out in the open, like mom. His personality was like the wind that blew above the hills, catching everything in its path. He smiled a lot, even while working with father and Lev in the forge. His muscular, tan body was built for work like this, but his smile wasn’t, gleaming brighter than the flame.
“Oy, Lev, let me help you, you’ll break that skeleton hand of yours!”, he would laugh as Lev attempted to hammer a horseshoe.
It was a curse, Lev thought, the pale skin, the thin body, the beautiful face. Lev would never be a good blacksmith like his brother or father. He knew father would give the forgery to Kyrylo after he died, and Lev would have to work for his brother for the rest of his life.
“Get away Kyrylo, I’ll do it myself!”
“No, if you break something, Tato will first whoop me, then you. So let your older brother help you before Mama has to rub ointment on both our asses”, he laughed.
Lev would get angry at times like these, it was rare that father would even raise a finger against his brother, while Lev would get a beating at least once a week. What he hated even more was mother always comforting him after, as If he needed protection. He was ashamed to say he would even lash out at her for this as he got older. But she never stopped loving him, even when he told them he was leaving to join the army.
That memory struck something in his chest, and his knuckle turned white from the grip he had on his glass. Lev quickly realized he was going to shatter it, so he just downed the drink and set the glass on the table. From his seat in the corner of the living room, near the window and the small table where the girls probably did their homework, Lev surveyed what went on around him.
The loud lady playing on the gramophone made his head buzz. It seemed to him that all the music they played was the same, continuous groaning of that one woman. He thought he heard someone whip out their harmoshka once, but he isn’t sure if that was just his drunk mind playing tricks on him. The room was filled with girls and young soldiers dancing and laughing and flirting and saying things they never dared say unless they were sure they would never see each other again. Lev sat there thinking abut how they ended up in this small apartment that belonged to some nursing student they met yesterday at the market. He recalled as Andrew saw her and whistled as she was leaving class, calling her to come over. Lev almost punched him, because they were merely there to buy food and go back to camp. But Andrew always wanted to do more than what was required, even outside of duty.
“You know its impolite for a girl to walk past soldiers without even giving them a kiss? It’s girls like you that we’re fighting for you know? So your beautiful little body can put on that uniform everyday and make a couple of boys feel better”, Andrew went off on her, smirking. His playful tone making it clear that he wasn’t dangerous.
Just as she was about to reply, he pressed on, “I mean I would understand if we were just a couple of regular soldiers. Yah, thats nothing special to you girls anymore, you’ve probably met thousands by now. But were not regular soldiers are we Lev brother?”, Andrew looked at him, his mischievous eyes giving Lev a wink.
“No, Andrew we are not”, Lev sighed, crossing his arms around his chest. He might as well play along with another one of Andrew’s foolish games. “Do you know what the two stars on our shoulders mean girl?” Lev asked her, furrowing his brow slightly to make her nervous. He knew he hd to play the role of the villain so that bashful idiot can be the hero. “Do you?’”, Lev asked forcefully.
The girl now looked very nervous, getting a tighter grip on the books she was holding, cowering below Lev’s tall figure.
“I must apologize for my buddy here dove, Lev recently saw one of our men get his arm ripped off by one of those Nazi devils, and he hasn’t been the same since”, Andrew put his arm around the girls small body, comforting her. “But if you didn’t know the two stars mean we a—“
“Luietenants”, the girl cut him off. She then smiled. “I know my rankings lieutenant, I’ve seen all kinds of them on different uniforms”, she flirtatiously gazed at Andrew, brushing a strand of her short brown hair behind her ear.
“Ooh, a smart girl. Well, listen here smart girl, it would be considered a great service to your country if you let a few of the boys protecting you into your home for a little fun. You can invite as many of your fellow nurses as you’d like, well even provide the vodka. And Bodya can play the harmoshka very well. Lev here can do the hopak if he drinks half a litre”, Andrew laughed at Lev’s annoyed face.
“I would love to officer, but your men must behave or our neighbours will get mad. We almost got kicked out the last time a party like yours passed through town”, she smiled. She hesitantly brushed a lock of his curly brown hair from his face. He grabbed her hand and kissed it, never taking his eyes from hers.
“Your country thanks you dove. We’ll see you tomorrow night”
After she left, Lev smacked the back of Andrews head.
“What the fuck is wrong with you? She was probably scared half to death, and now has all these fucking horny Reds coming to her house. They won’t fucking behave Andrew, do you only think with your dick?”, Lev snapped. He was mad, because this is the second time this happened, and last time ended with some of the younger men getting in a fight over a girl, smashing their faces to almost no recognition.
“Hey, its not going to be like last time okay. Loysha and Sasha learned their lesson after being on cleaning duty for a week. And why not Lev? You probably haven’t been in something warm since you had to leave the goats back at the farm”, Andrew laughed, earning another hard smack on the back of the neck.
“How many bastards do you have by now?”, Lev couldn’t help but smile at his friends crude joke.
“Probably enough to fill a small village”, Andrew chuckled.
Thats how Lev ended up here, at the “smart girls” apartment, waiting for the alcohol to hit him.
Lev used to enjoy parties, especially weddings. Of the three day phenomenon that was his cousins wedding, Lev could only remember them trying to steal the bride and something to do with a rooster. He also escaped his fathers watchful eye once in a while to get drunk with his friends when the moon came up, picking up a few girls along the way. It was on one of those nights that he lost his boyhood under the stars to some girl whose name he has long forgotten, but he remembered that she had a pretty dot above her lip and smelt like cherries.
He looked up to see Andrew at the lips of the young bird with a short red dress on. It was the brown haired nurse he had harassed yesterday. Lev recalled Andrew telling him one night back at one of the camps that he liked girls with dark hair. Lev responded that girls were all the same to him, as long as they didn't speak too much he was fine. And Lev didn't give them the opportunity to speak much either.
It has been three days since they settled in this town, and he wanted nothing more than to go back the battle grounds at this very moment. He would much rather be at the brink of death than at the eye of some young woman waiting for him to look at her. The two stars on each of his broad shoulders apparently worked as some sort of magnets. Andrew understood that very well, never failing to point them out to a powdered eye. Lev could not help but smile. The look on Andrews face warmed him more than the drink could, as he watched his friend enjoy the little escape he had from real life. From the depressing real life they both shared, and the one that gifted them with the stars on their shoulders. To Lev the stars weights he did not want to carry, ones he would like to rip off and just run. Run wherever, as far from this war as possible, back into his mothers warm arms.
"What are you thinking about lieutenant?", a silky voice awoke him from his thoughts.
"My mom", Lev replied, not thinking twice. He didn't even look up before he replied. His eyes remained on the table. The cloth was patterned with small flowers, and bits of it had been burnt off with cigarette ashes.
"Oh. Do you miss her greatly lieutenant?", the voice inquired.
Every word she spoke was like a wave, moving smoothly up, and crashing down ever so slightly.
"Everyday girl. Now please leave me alone, there are plenty of men here, I'm sure you could interest someone else". Lev did not raise his head, and spoke as if to the table. He hoped this was enough to send her on her way.
“Lieutenant, what do you miss about your mom?"
Lev's head shot up, and he was forced to look at his questioner. She stood over him like a willow, her long blonde hair resting on the crevices of her thin body. She wore a short, periwinkle dress that buttoned all the way down. She was smirking at him, with bashfully plump lips. But it was her eyes, Lev noticed, that embarrassed every other girl here.
Those beautiful grey eyes looked down on him with such coolness, and disconcern that he was slightly intimidated. There was no denying that those eyes belonged to a Ukrainian, nor the freckles that painted those cheeks or the particular long structure of her face.
"What is it any of your business girl?" Lev blurted. He had no other thoughtful response to such a surprising question. This girl made him feel all sorts of emotions that his drunk mind could not process.
"It isn't. But it's my business that you're sitting alone in my house, merely drinking and sighing, whilst stealing every girl from one of your subordinates. It's simply unfair lieutenant and I cannot have it", she smiled at him, completely unaffected by the rudeness of his tone. It's as if he has never spoken at all, and she had already planned what to say beforehand. He noticed how her hips moved as she talked, and the small bounce in her breasts.
"This isn't your apartment, it belongs to that girl that studies nursing or something. We saw her at the market yesterday"
"Natalya. And yes, were both studying nursing or something, we're roommates. So what are you going to do about your situation lieutenant? I can't have you stealing all the girls, it ruins the party", she placed her small hand on the table and leaned over him. He couldn't help but notice that from this angle a bit of her white, lace bra underneath the dress. He couldn’t tell if she was flirting or asserting her dominance, but he knew that he would not be told what to do.
“Are you questioning an officer girl? Because I heard nurses can be whores, but not stupid?” Lev hated that he had to look up to her to see her piercing gaze, he preferred looking down at people.
But yet again she dismissed what he said into the wind.
"I wouldn't think someone your age would be a lieutenant already, how old are you? Twenty four? Twenty five? What did you have to do to move up so high? Place 100 Nazi heads at Stalins feet or something?", her hand was now on his chest, and her eyes twinkled at him playfully. Her cross dangled on her thin neck, and he could smell her sweet perfume.
He hated talkative girls, they were always too much trouble for such a small cause.
Lev stood up, catching her off guard.
"Or something. Now," he leaned in closely to her ear, dropping his voice to a whisper," let go of me sweetheart, or I will be forced to command my boys to do something you might not like.” Lev grabbed her small waist forcefully, and used his other finger to lightly trace down her spine, over the thin fabric of her dress. He could see the goosebumps on her arms begin to form. Good, now she'll leave him be.
He was surprised to find that she hadn't left, but in fact, now leaned into his ear, standing on her toes to reach him. "Lieutenant, the day I fear the Red Army, is the day I forsake God. You may fool these little girls with your stars and your handsome face, but I am no fool, I could see right through you all. You're all just scared little boys running with guns in their hands, fighting for a nation that has never done shit for you. And right now, you sit very drunk in my home, threatening me. Yet you forget these men have been deprived of a woman's touch for way too long, and who will be very dissatisfied with the fact that their commanding officer can simply sit and steal all of their potential catches from them. So I suggest, in order not to displease your men, you leave or you take one of these girls into a room and show her why you deserve those stars lieutenant", she spoke with her harsh words bathed in honey.
She got out of his grip and turned away, back into the crowd. He stared at where her long legs had been a moment before and smiled truthfully for the first time that night. What a bashful girl talking to an officer like that.
Lev decided to listen her words, and he headed for the door. He had to nudge past the crowd, trying his best not to trip on his own feet. The door was so close, just a few more steps…
"LEV!!! Get back here blyat", Andrews voice filled the room. Everyone went silent. All the soldiers turned their heads towards their commanding officer who stood very drunk in front of the doorway, leaning on it to keep himself up.
"Andrew I'm going. One of the boys will drive you home", he glared at his friend. Andrews brown eyes widened. Lev watched as he detached himself from the brunette clinging to his side and stomped like a bear towards him.
"Lev you promised to have fun tonight. We're only here for a week, and then back to hell with those German devils. Come, grab a girl and dance with me", Andrew was yelling in his face now, grabbing him by the collar of his uniform.
Looking past Andrew, Lev caught the eye of one of his subordinates Maksym. He saw Maksyms jaw wide open, staring at two officers yelling at each other. This was unacceptable.
Right as Lev was ready to give Andrew a lesson about grabbing him in front of this crowd, he felt a pair of arms slither around his.
"Lieutenant, I'm so sorry for worrying you about him. He's leaving with me tonight if you don't mind of course", a bushel of golden locks leaned on his shoulder as she held him firmly in place.
Andrew looked shocked for a moment, before grinning. Letting go of Levs collar he gleamed, "Oh I knew you weren't a cold hearted bastard Levchik! Any man can survive war, but no man can survive a girl like her. Good luck brother", Andrew gave him a strong pat to the chest as he returned to his girl. Then everything resumed to normal Well, except this.
As she led him out into the hall, he briskly shook her off of him.
“Are you obsessed with me?”, Lev slurred.
“No, I was just helping you leave. I need to go borrow some books from a girl living in the next building anyways, so I might as well go with your drunk ass”, she huffed at him. The artificial light shone through her dress, whose thin fabric could not hide all underneath. Lev felt a twinge in his lower stomach as he leaned against the cracked wall.
“Lets go, we’ll part ways outside, you probably don’t want the residence seeing you sprawled out on the staircase in the morning.” She grabbed his arm and led him down what seemed like a million cement steps. The building smelt of cigarette smoke, and was covered in profane graffiti. Andrew was right, it had been a while since he’s been in something warm.
When they reached the doorway to the outside, Lev stopped in his tracks, yanking her arm back to him. She lost balance as he slammed her tiny body against the heavy door.
“What the f—“
“Shhh, you talk too much”, Lev covered her mouth with his palm, holding her in place with his other hand. “Now, since the moment I saw you, I’ve been trying to decide what part of Ukraine you are from. It can’t be eastern, because you still have an accent speaking Russian. So western it is, but where? Ivano-Frankivsk? Ternopil? Well, right now it doesn’t matter much, I haven’t been with a Ukrainian girl in too long”, Lev’s head buzzed as he spoke. The alcohol was making him more aggressive, and the fact that her tiny body looked so good didn’t help. She squirmed underneath him, and he could make out the swear words she was yelling in the mother tongue.
“Now, since you were the only brave girl to come up to the liuetenant tonight, he’ll reward you”, Lev held her in place and began trailing a series of kisses down her neck, softly.
Then he felt a strong pain near his groin, one that was unlike any fucking other. She kneed him there. Right. Fucking. There. Lev automatically reached for his male parts, hoping they were intact.
Breathing heavily, she leaned down to him, once again staring into his eyes.
“Zakarpatya, liuetenant. Thats the part of Ukraine I’m from. How about you?”