Abstract
It has been studied that boys have a special or particularly different kind of relationship with their father rather than a daughter-father relationship. Boys tend to see their father as a role model or someone idealistic in their life, which in turn will affect their later adulthood, and how they perceive their future depending on the kind of relationship they have had with their father specifically while growing up. In this study, there was one participant 37 years old male, recruited via email. Stefan responded by email to a recruitment advertisement on the BACP. The data was collected using an unstructured interview with a psychologist. The main findings were that Stefan had a ‘normal’ relationship with his father, where his father was a busy successful man yet he balanced that with family life. In the interview Stefan had moments were their ‘good’ and ‘normal’ relationship was questioned throughout.
Introduction
Father and son relationships are very unique and play a different part in the child’s upbringing to mothers. Fathers tend to play the role of ensuring that their children grow up with a strong set of values, protected physically and financially while the mother plays the nurturing and emotional role in the family. Numerous studies have concluded that the father’s most important role is a sex-role model for their sons. (Biller 1971, Lamb 1993) Psychologists measured the masculinity in fathers and sons and then determined how strongly the two sets of scores were correlated. Surprisingly, these scores were not reliable and as result raised the question that if fathers don’t turn their sons into men, then what is their position in the family?
To investigate these questions psychologists looked at the relationship between a child’s mental health and the absence of their father. Children, who live without their father, are, on average more likely to have problems in academic performance (Hetherington & Stanley- Hagan, 1997; Horn & Sylvester, 2002). For example, they are likely to have lower scores on tests, intellectual ability and IQ tests. This clearly states that the father plays a very important part in the child’s intellectual abilities. In addition to this, children who live without their fathers are, typically, more likely to choose aggressive peers, have difficulty getting along with other children and peers and be more violent.
Furthermore, there is a clear correlation between father and child relationships quality while growing up and their mental health in their adulthood. Mallers, Charles, Neuport, & Almeida, D. M. (2010) have undergone a longitudinal study to support this. They have used interviews and surveys from a sample of 7189 candidates from the ages 27-74. Out of these only respondents who reported both material and paternal affection were included in the analysis They measured the participants daily stressors using semi-structured Daily Inventory of Stressful Events, this included a series of questions asking if different stressor events (e.g. arguments and tensions). The results were that the father-child relationship quality showed a trend where higher levels of father-child relationship quality were related to lower levels of psychological distress n men. These findings also explain the importance of fathers in the lives of their sons, and that assessments of emotional experience that move beyond overall levels of emotional well-being may uncover further influences of both mother and fathers on the enduring emotional experiences of their children.
Similarly, E. Millings (2010) has investigated the role and influence of the father on his ‘child’ in biological and non-biological relationships. She wanted to examine the role of the father in a child’s upbringing and to determine whether that role is a positive or negative influence. Additionally, she wanted to explore the short and long-term effects of that influence. She has used Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis (IPA) (Smith, Jarman, & Osborn, 1999) in a qualitative study of three men and three women, together with the utilization of case notes for two further females. These themes were: control; masculinity; rejection; pride and praise (in and for father); the bad/nasty father; the reactive father; mother’s role.
Using these studies we are able to conduct improved methods and practices in order to learn further about the impact of a father-son relationship quality and the impact on the child’s adulthood. In this study, we are exploring the relationship of one particular father-son relationship where the results and themes will be used to draw conclusions that would help us understand father-son relationships further.
Method
Design
The type of research being done is based on an unstructured interview were the interviewee was changing the questions depending on the participants answers. To analyse these results a thematic analysis was used in order to conduct reoccurring themes taking place throughout the interview. This was used as it will give us an insight to what is truly happening and why was something said which in turn allows us to fully understand why it has happened. Using this we can make judgments about future investigations and research on father-son relationships. This methodology is supported by other studies in the past. For example Clothing and embodiment: Men managing body image and appearance, Psychology of Men & Masculinity, (2004).
Participant
In this study the participants name and identifying data have been changed for confidentiality purposes and will remain anonymous. Participant Stefan, 37 years of age is a white male man the time of the interview. As a child and teenager he lived with his father, mother, and one younger sister in a city in the North West of England. Later Stefan left home to attend university was the first time he experienced living away from his family Studied Law at university and worked as a lawyer for 7 years.
Interview Schedule
In this interview schedule an unstructured interview was used. Some examples of the questions were ‘is it just you and your sister in the family? And ‘When you were growing up, did he feel like a familiar reassuring presence for you when you were a child, or was he the sort of dad that was away a lot, absent.’
Interview procedure
Stephen responded by email to a recruitment advertisement on the BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy) website from a researcher interested in exploring male therapists’ relationships with their father. He and the researcher conducted the interview in a private study room in a university library. Before starting the interview, the researcher asked Stephen to sign a consent form to indicate that he agreed to participate and the he understood: what the interview was about; that he could stop the interview at any time. The interview lasted 30 minutes.
Analytic approach
For this thematic analysis a sophisticated approach was a better approach as it focused on the story, puts the data and participant in context as well as interprets meaning and ideas which will help find the real meanings and reasons to why things have occurred the may they did. Which in conclusion will make an argument in which further questions will be asked.
Results
In the interview we have learned a lot about Stefans upbringing and about what kind of man his father is and was while he was growing up. Through out the transcript Stefan;
Describes his as a very proud man but he is also hiding the bad sides of his dad.
This was one of the themes discovered. For example on line A6 ‘I think my mum found it very funny’ he added this after he has added that his dad came home drunk once, the fact that he added that his mother found it funny it looks as if he is trying to distract the interviewer from what he said by turning the situation in a funny outcome. He also added on line A30 ‘I don’t know, he is an easy going guy and he is easy going in the house, easy going out of the house.’ Stefan stutters a little and uses a little repetition ‘he is an easy and easy in the house and easy outside the house’ if he was confident that his father was easy going he could’ve said simply ‘he is very easy going’. This shows that his father may not be very easy going as he suggests, which makes the reader or interviewer question his father.
Father has verbally and emotionally abused his son due to occasions were he might have embarrassed him or his occupation maybe in the past.
Throughout the interview Stefan describes that there has been occasions in the past where his father may have been embarrassed by Stefan. This is added in line A49 where Stefan states ‘whole “pulls your socks up” this was said by the father to Stefan. ‘Put your socks up’ in some contexts may mean ‘get your self together’ (don’t embarrass me). This shows that indeed his father was a very proud man and does not allow any foolishness happen around him, which shows that his father was ashamed of his son. Another example is on line A35 where his adds ‘he commented on my posture’. This seems like a normal comment said by a parent, however in this current situation this adds to the context that his father was not happy with the way Stefan was and wanted him to change’
Discussion
The aim of the research was to investigate if a father-child relationship will be affected with the addition of success. The findings show that yes it does effect it to some extend, Stefans father was around for family holidays and special occasions, however his father was not very close or warm towards Stefan, he wasn’t the type to offer emotional support. For Stefan his father was not his go to person from a young age. These findings contributes to the research question as it clearly states that if success is a factor the father will miss out on many family events as he is much more busy.
These finding are very similar to E. Millings (2010) findings, she has discovered a few themes which were found in Stefan’s interview for example E. Millings (2010) found ‘control; masculinity; rejection; pride and praise (in and for father); This shows a trend in father-child relationships and a lot on the fathers overall. Fathers tend to be very egoistic and have a lot of pride and control. In addition methodology was somewhat similar, both used qualitative data and used it to interpret the meaning, which may be the result to the similar results.
The research on Stefan has some flaws; although methodology used was very flexible to ask many questions, it meant that Stefan was not able some questions which to him were sensitive which may raise ethical issues. Also, using unstructured interview is unreliable as you cannot use the same questions on every participant, everyone is unique and as a result the data may differ. To improve this in the future a standardised questionnaire should be introduced were all the questions are all the same, therefore we are able to distinguish the differences in the data clearly.
I was able to interpret the data the way I did due to past experiences with my own father, where he had the same attitudes, this in turn has made it easier to see in-between Stefan’s lines.
Conclusion
When viewing the data and additional research we could draw clear interpretations that a father-child relationship will most likely be affected not necessary in a negative way, however it will likely that the father has no time to spend with his children and therefore they may turn to mother for emotional support rather than the father, which in turn will cause the father to become more distant. However this could be argued by many psychologists, stating that this is a necessity to provide for the family and should not be an issue to point out. This in contrast raises more questions like ‘could a father have the best of both worlds? Be able to be successful and give the needed relationship quality to his children?’ which shows that more research needs to in this topic.