The Experience of a Woman
Women are typically put into categories, expected to be exactly how society wants them to be, regardless of their own wishes. The opinions/thoughts of women are often ignored, letting men and patriarchal societies choose what a woman is and what a woman is not. Due to this, women are often defined in many different ways, depending on background, religion, culture, and societal beliefs. Considering the endless definitions of what woman is, and what woman isn’t, this draws into question: what truly is a woman?
Looking closely at these definitions, it is apparent that the very definition of a woman can create complications and real consequences for women altogether. These consequences can include, but are not limited to: gender inequality, class struggles, stereotyping women, and even everyday struggles living as a woman. When analyzing and dissecting these consequences, it becomes apparent that they are a direct result of women being defined as other. However, a continuation of women’s otherness in society will only further perpetuate these struggles that women face.
What is a Woman?
In society, there are many different definitions of what a woman is believed to be. These definitions depend on many varying factors such as the culture, religious beliefs, background, and social norms that these definitions are based upon. The definitions also play an important role when deciding what a woman is and isn’t, yet these definitions also often contradict one another.
Culture and background play a huge part in shaping morals and beliefs, and depending what cultural background somebody is from, this can determine how they view women in their society. In many cultures, women are believed to be inferior to men. In these same cultures, the women are expected to serve men, and only perform household/mothering duties. Most of these cultures are typically examples of Patriarchy, which is defined by Dictionary.com as “a social system in which power is held by men, through cultural norms and customs that favor men and withhold opportunity from women.” (Dictionary). Therefore, these groups based on these cultural norms would define a woman, by their cultural definition, to be an inferior being to men. However, this definition can vary even more when looking at religious beliefs of what a woman is and what a woman is not.
Religion can often shape morals and roles more than cultural background, depending on the context. When defining a woman, there are many different religions that would define women as submissive to men, and the institution of the religion. A Wikipedia article titled “Women and Religion” states the following when discussing women in the religion of Christianity:
“According to the Christian Bible, wives are expected to be submissive in many ways. They are asked not only to be submissive to their husbands, but to the church, their community, and God. "At the head of every household is a man; at the head of a man is Christ; and the head of every women is a man; and the head of Christ is God." Wives are seen as second in the family household, only to that of their husbands.” (2)
The idea of women being submissive to men, the way that men are submissive to their god, implies that a woman, by Christian definition, is submissive and seen as “second” to men. However, considering the countless amount of religious beliefs about women, this raises the question yet again; Which definition is absolute? What is a woman?
Lastly, different societal norms across the world are often used to define women and define what a woman “should be”. These societal norms can consist of: how a woman acts, how a woman is “supposed” to look, etc., according to the society the norm is from. For example, one social norm that can restrain women is the idea that “women should not play sports”. This norm places the idea that women are not athletic by definition, therefore defining what a woman is and is not. These norms can certainly be considered as definitions/guidelines for women, that convey the idea of women as other.
Woman as Other
After analyzing all of the cultural backgrounds, religious beliefs, and societal norms that create definitions of women, the overall consensus can be reached that women are considered as “other” when compared to men. This idea of “otherness” takes many different forms, such as women being inferior to men, and women being submissive to men. Although, the otherness of women has been brought to light many times in the past.
The study of woman as other has been around for a while, with major contributions from important female figures. One crucial piece of work titled “Woman as Other”, by Simone de Beauvoir, proposes many interesting ideas that include: defining women, analyzing the position of women, and what results comes along with these definitions. There are many instances throughout “Woman as Other” where Beauvoir questions; why functioning as a female is not enough to define a woman:
“If her functioning as a female is not enough to define woman, if we decline also to explain her through ‘the eternal feminine’, and if nevertheless we admit, provisionally, that women do exist, then we must face the question “what is a woman”?” (Lemert, 268)
When asking this question, Beauvoir opens the discussion to society as a whole. She proposes that, if society can acknowledge that women do exist, then there is no excuse to ignore the question of “what is a woman?”.
Throughout this piece, Beauvoir also questions the definition of women in relation to men, and how this can create conflict. She explains that women are often seen through their relationship to men, instead of on their own value. Beauvoir describes this type of defining by stating:
“She is defined and differentiated with reference to man and not he with reference to her; she is the incidental, the inessential as opposed to the essential. He is the Subject, he is the Absolute – she is the Other.” (Lemert, 269)
According to Beauvoir, women are seen as the inessential or the other, while men are seen as the essential. This is important because it furthers the understanding of women being defined not only by men, but also in relation to men. On the contrary, men are typically never defined in relation to women which capitalizes on the notion of a woman’s worth being determined by comparison to a man’s.
In terms of contributing to the feminist movement as a whole, Simone de Beauvoir made a huge impact in the feminist movement, especially with this work “Woman as Other’. For a long time, women have had a very different experience in society and many different expectations. However, there were not many ways to explain or analyze this experience around 1949, when this piece was written.
Beauvoir took all of these complicated experiences and the history of women and questioned it. She supported her curiosity with facts, and the consensus of many women’s emotions on these social constructs of a woman. By doing so, Beauvoir can be argued as a very influential figure in the wake of the feminist movement. She can also be noted as somebody who has managed to open this lifelong discussion of woman as other. Now that this discussion is open to society, taking a closer look can help to reveal the harsh consequences the otherness of women has caused.
Everyday Consequences of Women as Other
The previously stated definitions of women have continued to cause some very real consequences on the lives of women. These consequences include inequality in society to men, better known as gender inequality. The consequences can also vary if a woman is from an ethnic minority group, or a low/working class background in society; creating class struggles within women’s otherness. Lastly, a consequence almost every woman has faced at one point or another would fall into the category of everyday struggles. These everyday struggles can range from standards placed upon women in society to stereotypes that women have to face and overcome on a daily basis.
Gender inequality is a great example of one of the serious results of these social norms/stereotypes. The stereotype of women being “weak” or “unstable” is one that directly affected the way women entered the workforce. The exact consequence that was a result of this is the wage gap between men and women. Wages started with a gap due to “quality” difference in labor between men and women. Then came the Equal Pay Act, effective 1964, which made it illegal for unequal pay between men and women, however this does not explain how even up until today women, on average, make $0.80 to the male dollar. (Time; see also Infoplease). However, this wage gap can be even harsher if a woman is from an ethnic minority group, or low/working class.
When women are faulted not only because of their being but also because of their ethnic background/social status, this runs into the issue of class struggles. As previously stated, women statistically earn less money than men, for the same job. Although, for ethnic women, the statistics vary, and the wage gap can be even larger and more consequential for them, when compared to their male colleagues. For women of ethnic background, they statistically make less than $0.80 to the male dollar, they tend to earn around 55% of what their male colleagues make. This would mean they are making about $0.55 to the male dollar (Time; see also Infoplease). The women facing this consequence are not only being seen as other for being a woman, but also for being from ethnic backgrounds.
Lastly, another consequence of women’s otherness includes the standards placed on women, and everyday struggles that women have to face. In many societies, women are expected to meet certain standards/expectations and face consequences if they do not measure up to them. These expectations can include being slim, being conservative and being very nurturing/caring. The consequences for women who do not meet these expectations can be harassment, discrimination, and sometimes developing mental health issues. Without breaking the idea of women as other, the stereotypes and standards will continue to cause these everyday struggles for women.
Common Beliefs and Stereotypes About Women
One of the major contributions to the “otherness” of women are the stereotypes that have stuck with them throughout the centuries. Some of the most repetitive stereotypes being that women should be homemakers, and be content with this position in society. One major work that focuses on this position of women is “The Problem That Has No Name”, by Betty Friedan. It is safe to say Friedan focuses on the typical American housewives, and the issues surrounding them. Friedan gives society an overall better understanding of these gender roles, and how there is much more to be seen behind the stereotypical “happy housewife”.
The piece discusses the history of women being homemakers, and the belief that women should seek fulfillment out of this task. This work is a very well-known piece, as well as its impact on the women’s movement and the discussion of this stereotype of women as caretakers. Friedan explains how women started adopting this housewife narrative slowly over time, until it was a part of American culture. This work’s overall contribution to the women’s movement is that it opened the discussion of what began this stereotype/belief and why it remains problematic.
Friedan begins by explaining what women were taught, and the values that were instilled in women from very young ages. Growing up, young girls would see their mother’s role, and likely follow in her mother’s footsteps. This is also because young girls were taught, by society, that women were to shame those who wanted to take the role of a “man’s job”, such as a doctor. They were also taught that women who were not feminine enough, or perfectly fitting into the beauty standards of women, were worth less than those who were. Friedan explains these values that were taught by stating:
“They were taught to pity the neurotic, unfeminine, unhappy women who wanted to be poets or physicists or presidents. They learned that truly feminine women do not want careers, higher education, political rights¬- the independence and the opportunities that the old-fashioned feminists fought for.” (Lemert, 281)
In this part of “The Problem That Has No Name”, Friedan is analyzing what society teaches women, starting from a young impressionable age. She explains how women were expected/taught, by society, to then “pity” other women for not fitting these standards placed upon women at this time. Whether the standards were beauty standards, or simply being satisfied with the role of a caretaker; if a woman did not comply with them, she was automatically seen as “unhappy” in society. After analyzing this work of Friedan’s, it becomes apparent that this “unhappiness” versus “happiness” between women was the irony she was trying to draw attention to.
Women who do not fit into society’s expectations were deemed “unhappy”, and the typical American housewives were deemed “happy housewives”. The irony within that statement is that the roles are quite the opposite. In simple terms, Friedan is arguing that the housewives are the unhappy ones in this situation, and the women who are fulfilling their own needs are the happiest.
When Friedan calls into question, what these societal expectations and standards are doing to women, it can be seen the effects are not only on mental health. The beauty expectations, and expectations to be a perfect mother, had also started a notion of women neglecting their physical health for the sake of fitting these standards. Friedan elaborates on these cases, giving examples such as:
“In a New York hospital, a woman had a nervous breakdown when she found out she could not breastfeed her baby. In other hospitals, women dying of cancer refused a drug which research had proved might save their lives: its side effects were said to be unfeminine. “If I have only one life, let me live it as a blonde” a larger-than-life-sized picture of a pretty, vacuous woman proclaimed from newspaper, magazine, and drugstore ads.” (Lemert, 281)
From this excerpt, Friedan shows that not only were women having mental health issues because of these standards (i.e. nervous breakdowns), but also began putting their beauty over their health (i.e. refusing cancer treatment). By analyzing these events, it is clear that Friedan is shedding light on these issues, to further her claim that there is much more to be seen than the facade of a “happy housewife”.
Other than her work on societal standards of women, Betty Friedan can also be seen as a very influential figure in the history of the women’s movement. She is also known for her accomplishment of creating the NOW, or the National Organization for Women. The NOW will always remain a very important accomplishment for Friedan and also an accomplishment for the women’s movement altogether (Lemert, 280). In other words, Betty Friedan’s work, “The Problem That Has No Name”, may choose to focus on the typical American housewife, but it was also a gigantic step toward understanding this role and how it impacts the perception of women.
Pushing Past the “Otherness”
Overall, when looking at the many definitions of women, it can be concluded that society defines women as other. These definitions create very real consequences for women, such as gender inequality, class struggles, and stereotypes. Some very real examples of these struggles being the wage gap, and representation of women in our government. As long as women are defined as other, with many stereotypes surrounding them, these consequences will remain. However, society can open this discussion even further, and break the molds of these stereotypes and definitions.
Throughout analyzing “Woman as Other” by Simone de Beauvoir, the existence of the category “other” is defined. Beauvoir then explains this category in relation to women, and the otherness that woman face, when compared to men. She questions why women face the double-standard of always needing to identify themselves as a “woman”, meanwhile this thought does not typically cross a man’s mind. Beauvoir explains this idea particularly well in the following excerpt:
“Merely stating the problem suggests an immediate answer to me. It is significant that I pose it. It would never occur to a man to write a book on the singular situation of males in humanity. If I want to define myself, I first have to say, “I am a woman”; all other assertions will arise from this basic truth. A man never begins by positing himself as an individual of a certain sex: that he is a man is obvious.” (Lemert, 268)
This otherness is the very cause for the real consequences women have to face. However, Beauvoir is not the only figure in history who tries to push past the stereotypes/molds for women in society.
When also analyzing “The Problem That Has No Name” by Betty Friedan, there are many times where she pushes the envelope on women’s roles in society. Friedan mainly focuses on the very common roles of women in society, such as the stereotypical “happy housewife”. However, Friedan decides to take on a slightly different approach to these issues. In this attempt, both Friedan and Beauvoir both arrive at the same conclusions. The conclusions being that women are subjected to the consequences of their very being, and they are also not considered equal beings to men.
Side by side, these pieces of literature can help portray women in society, and the struggles they face. However, coupled with the real statistics and data of these consequences, it is easy to see that these consequences have only prolonged throughout time. This being said, with this information about women and their existence in society, and the background knowledge on where these definitions come from, society as a whole can use this research to expand the definition of what a woman is and isn’t, in order to break the molds that have existed for far too long.