DRAFT: Veterans Suffering with PTSD Conflicts with Healthy Parenting
Yasmeen Valentin
Towson Seminar
Introduction
Our soldiers are known as our protectors and they always make sure the people of the USA are safe, but can they protect everyone? Most soldiers, unfortunately, have to suffer through PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), from serving in the war. Soldiers who suffer through this have a hard time adjusting back into their daily lives after a traumatic experience. In order for a Veteran suffering from PTSD to provide healthy parenting they need to be emotionally stable, able to reconnect and have self-control.
Emotional Stability
Veterans have a hard time being emotionally stabled while facing PTSD. Dealing with PTSD can sometimes lead to both depression and anxiety. A veteran who is dealing with depression results in parenting difficulties. This then takes a toll on the child causing them to have emotional, behavioral and adjustment problems, especially in school-aged children. A parent who is facing depression is also associated with an increased likelihood of reporting children acting afraid or not being warm. Facing both depression and anxiety from PTSD can actually cause the child to fall into the same mental illness as their parent by being around them frequently. “Researchers found that children of the fathers with PTSD have significantly more issues with self-control of aggression, delinquency, and hyperactivity.” (Schaeffer, 2012, p.7). Another crucial staple for a child to develop is social skills. Children of a parent who have PTSD aren’t able to conversate or keep close friendships. It was found that, “overall, mental health symptoms resulted in a 171% increase in the likelihood of a service member reporting a child with an emotional, behavioral, or adjustment problem.” (Creech and Misca 2017). What can the parent do to overcome the depression and anxiety is seeking treatment from a doctor, taking medications, connecting with others with similar problems, support groups, talking to someone they trust, moving around, are finding breathing mechanisms are some solutions.
Reconnecting
It can be very overwhelming for a veteran to try and reconnect. When uncomfortable emotions are brought up or challenged many veterans don’t know how to cope with it. PTSD is the biggest obstacle because it makes it difficult for the sufferers to recognize themselves. Most veterans will try and avoid treatment which is common. Lots of veteran’s experience emotions of “feeling hopelessness or helplessness and cannot connect their feelings with the world going on around them.” (National Veterans Foundation, 2015). Veterans who are having trouble reconnecting also say that they “have feelings of unworthiness as a parent, and alienation or detachment from their children.” (Sherman, 2016). A parent who isn’t there affects their child’s emotional development. Unfortunately, what the veteran needs the most is for their family to learn to cope with it and find a way to help them reconnect. “By reconnecting to uncomfortable emotions without becoming overwhelmed it can make a huge difference in their ability to manage stress, balance out moods and help a veteran take back control of their life.” (Smith, Robinson, Segal, 2018). Strategies to help a veteran reconnect are support groups, volunteering, connect with trusted/loved ones, connect with civilians (not necessarily about combat experiences.), exercise/moving around can help clear the head before talking, and vocal toning before a conversation can all be helpful.
Self-Control
Triggers are hard for a Veteran to avoid with PTSD. Some triggers can be smell, tastes, feeling, scenery, pictures, sounds, crowds, activities, and more. Sleeping sometimes causes a veteran to have dreams of the war which can cause sleep issues or random outburst from awakening from the dream. When a flashback is experienced, and they don’t have self-control over its children experience the secondary trauma from it. This can cause the child to feel emotional distress from the secondary trauma. When a veteran parent doesn’t have self-control, they “are not able to respond to the needs of their child if they are debilitated by PTSD. This can be particularly catastrophic to the emotional development of a young children as their organization of brain structures depends on an attentive and responsive parent.” (Perry et al, 1995). Children sometimes also perceive their homes at unsafe and unpredictable. The best way to avoid a trigger from the war is to avoid them and slowly accommodate. For example, if huge crowds are a trigger don’t go to a concert. Some other tips for a veteran to regain consciousness is to help pull out of not being in control state of themselves (look around and realize they’re safe), describe what they see, and tapping their arms. Veterans can also “try to ground themselves by using movement (run in place), touch (splash cold water on face), sight (blinking), sounds(music), smell (something that brings you to present), taste(gum).” (National Veterans Foundation, 2015). These can all help a veteran slowly regain self-control to help them and their children feel safe again.
Argument
Everything founded from the research of the impacts of a parent with PTSD on their child has turned out to be mostly negative, but in some cases can it benefit a family to have a parent with PTSD? It can benefit a child if the parent(s) are able to show their child love, support and control. For example, appreciation, active listening, parental supervision, encouragement of child’s independence, and etc. Also, if the child’s father suffers from PTSD and the child has a good relationship with their mother it eliminates the negative outcomes of what the child could become in the long run. There was a study where “the findings indicated that the more participants in the study group perceived of their mothers as warm, caring, and facilitating personal space and autonomy, the less emotional distress they revealed, and the more negligible the damage to their capacity for intimacy.” (Dinshtein, Dekel, Polliack, 2011). The problem is will every parent who has PTSD be able to commit to the list of duties to make sure their child doesn’t endure negative behaviors and qualities. That solely depends on who that parent is, what they’re going through and how severe their PTSD is. Yes, some parents may be able to do this for their child, but mostly all PTSD victims struggle to be involved in their child’s life and seek help. It may take years for a veteran to be able to somewhat fully heal from PTSD and the process is very time consuming. Unfortunately, a parent with PTSD bad impacts weigh out the good, but thankfully there are many programs and support groups to help soldiers and veterans recover from PTSD to become the parent they want to be one day for their child.
Summary
A veteran who is suffering from PTSD is going to be a challenge for not only them but their children too. While they are trying to manage everything, they’re going through its going to fall on their children who are witnessing and experiencing secondary trauma. This causes many negative effects on the child in many ways leading to behavioral issues, aggression, emotional development and etc. Therefore, it is not appropriate for a veteran parent who won’t seek treatment and cannot handle their emotional stability, can’t reconnect and has no self-control to set examples for their child.