Developing Positive Teacher-Student Relationships
A student’s sense of belonging in their school can have an effect on their academic success. One of the best ways for teachers to encourage a student’s feeling of belonging is by developing a relationship with them. This relationship will help students feel safe in their school and, consequently, want to be there more. According to the Search Institute (Minneapolis, MN), “young people are most likely to do well when they have at least one well-rounded, strong, and sustained relationship in their lives, as well as a broader web of many positive relationships across the places they spend time and the people with whom they interact.”
Teachers are obligated to develop a relationship with students because of their frequent and regular interaction. When teachers put in the effort to make connections with their student via a two-way relationship there will be an increase in student effort. Teachers should also expect to feel enjoyment in being around their students, therefore experiencing more enjoyment in their careers.
Research Justification
A sense of belonging impacts the school experience for students. While it is the job of a school district to educate students, the role of a teacher goes much deeper. When a teacher shows genuine interest in a student this can be the catalyst that enables a student to feel connected to his/her school. When a positive teacher-student relationship is established, it will give students the feeling of belonging; a feeling of belonging is essential to correct indiscipline, promote positive attendance, and improve student academics, including standardized test scores.
Schools are meant to prepare students for future success. Three of the biggest obstacles standing in the way of schools are poor attendance, indiscipline, and low academic achievement.
Poor attendance can be detrimental to a student’s success. Students that miss school frequently claim they do not attend on a regular basis because they are bored at school and are simply not motivated to attend (Bridgeland, Dilulio, & Morison, 2006). When a student misses days, they miss out on direct instruction with their teacher. They also can be left with makeup work that will continue to pile up when the student continues to miss days.
In a 2017 study, Kent, Jones, Mundy, and Isaacson report that one of the leading factors in a student’s decision to drop out of high school is too many absences have lead them to believe they will not be able to catch up. Additionally, they found that “[m]any high school students who eventually dropped out showed years of truancy before leaving school for good” (p. 2). By all indications, chronic absenteeism sets students up for failure as opposed to success. Poor attendance and tardiness can lead to disciplinary issues as well.
Being absent or tardy to class can be disruptive to the classroom environment (Mendler, 2009). When students do show up to class (late or irregularly) is disrupts the flow of the lesson. Other disciplinary issues that may present themselves in the classroom that stall the effectiveness of school could be a student’s lack of attention and disrespect toward the teacher (Silva, Negreiros, & Albano, 2017).
When students aren’t engaged in a lesson they may not pay attention. Good teachers will evaluate each student to see how to best help them learn. One of the most common reasons students are not attentive in class is that they do not see the connection to their own lives (Kent et al., 2017). Disrespect can have a horrible effect on the classroom climate—whether it is intended for the teacher or another student. Disrespect can make students feel singled out, threatened, and/or angry. In addition to being a place of learning, schools should also be a place where students feel safe (and respected). Either witnessing or being the victim of disrespect can alter a student’s concept of school.
Low academic achievement is one thing that schools are always trying to improve. Standardized tests, like the ACT and Minnesota Comprehensive Assessments (MCA), give schools an idea of how their students compare to others on a state or national level. When a school scores below the state and/or national average of these tests they work hard to boost these scores. It’s easy to see that low academic achievement, disciplinary issues, and elevated absenteeism all seem to contribute to each other. How can these problems be resolved?
When students feel a sense of belonging in their school they are more likely to demonstrate “academic confidence and [improved] grades” (Scales, 2010). According to Scales (2010), students need to “feel they belong as valued members of their schools” (p. 8). When a student feels they belong they will care more about succeeding in their future and feel safe in their school environment. When students feel they are valued and accepted in their schools they will gain more confidence. When a student feels like an important part of their school they will care more about their future and put forth more effort into their studies. Which would, in turn, halt the desire to miss days of school.
Negative interactions with people within their school can “prevent a sense of belonging to the school” (Uslu and Gizir, 2016). This can also make a student lack the feeling of safety throughout the day. Schools are obligated to ensure that all students feel safe in their learning environment. It is up to the teacher to model and foster appropriate and respectful relationships and interactions among students. When a teacher promotes respect among classmates they are empowering students to be both accepted and accepting. In general, “positive and supportive relationships with teachers and peers promote an adolescents’ sense of belonging” (Uslu and Gizir, 2016).
In a school, a teacher takes on the roles of instructor, trusted adult, mandated reporter, and disciplinarian. Most of these job functions are in place for the safety of students. Obviously, a teacher is there to help students learn the standards adopted by the school district. Additionally, a teacher should be an adult that a student can trust to help if they want it, while a mandated reporter is there to help a student when they need it. And finally, a teacher must act as a disciplinarian. All of these roles require a teacher pay attention to their students. Teachers must be aware of subtle changes in students that may reflect tumult in their lives. And a teacher must be prepared to alter their methods in order to best reach this student. To do this, a teacher must know his/her students very well.
Teachers should actively pursue positive relationships with their students in order to best get to know them. “Positive relationships with teachers predict changes in motivation outcomes, sense of belonging, interest in school, achievement expectancies, and values, as well as engagement, effort, and performance…they [the student] must first develop an attachment with the teacher” (Uslu and Gizir, 2016). Uslu and Gizir (2016), go on to say that teacher-student relationships are best fostered under a “homelike atmosphere in which teachers treat all students with respect and care, and interact with them in relationships similar to the extended family.” While, under this model, teachers would treat their students like “family” it is important to note the kind of family indicated; Uslu and Gizir clearly stated “extended family.” The differentiation between the way one may treat an extended family member and a nuclear family member is in the boundaries placed on the relationship. Thus, making the comparison of (extended) family member and teacher seem applicable: it is essential to have boundaries in a teacher-student relationship. The relationship with family is built on a foundation of trust; students should also have this in their teacher. (And vice versa.) Additionally, as a family member would, a teacher will support and encourage students in their endeavors, academic or otherwise.
Teachers should foster positive relationships with students for a number of reasons. Students may be lacking a supportive adult in their lives. Developing a relationship with a teacher can give a student the feeling of belonging. A positive teacher-student relationship can encourage regular school attendance. This relationship could also help manage and/or prevent disciplinary issues within the classroom. And, finally, when a student and teacher develop a positive relationship, it could elevate a student’s academic achievement.
Unfortunately, not all students have supportive adults in their lives. The reasons are many and varied, frankly, they don’t matter: teachers are obligated to support and encourage students in some way. According to Boynton and Boynton (2005):
Every child needs to have at least one significant adult in his or her life who believes that he or she can do well. Ideally, children would hear this from their parents, but the sad truth is that is not always the case. Teachers have the unique opportunity and privilege to communicate daily to a number of students that they believe in them.
Even if a teacher only supports a student’s learning, this could be support they are not receiving at home. A student may also feel as though this is the only adult they can trust.
When teachers and students work toward a positive relationship the student will feel that necessary feeling of belonging in their school. According to Uslu and Gizir (2016) both male and female students value care shown by their teachers. Additionally, when teachers are caring, sensitive, respectful, interested, warm, and engaging with students it improves both their relationship and the “student’s sense of school belonging.” Because of a teacher’s ability to impact a students feeling of value/belonging in their school, it can be assumed that, outside of parents, a teacher is the adult that makes the biggest impact on a student success.
The reasons a student may have for missing school may be less likely to crop up when the student has a positive relationship with their teacher. If a student likes the teacher they will mostly likely enjoy being in their classroom. If they like being in the classroom, they will not miss the class without a valid reason. And when a student has regular attendance they are not missing assignments. Also, when the student attends regularly they will complete better assignments because they will have a better grasp of the material and requirements.
There are also fewer classroom management/disciplinary issues to handle. When a teacher and student do not have a positive working relationship there can be more disciplinary problems to work around. Now, the student does not want to disappoint the teacher s/he has come to respect. According to Mendler and Mendler (2012), “The degree to which students with challenging behaviors feel connected to the teacher strongly influences how they behave” (p. 15).
When a student is in class and not misbehaving, it can be assumed that they are on task, completing assignments to the best of their ability. This means that students will be better prepared for standardized tests, including assessments like the ACT and the MCA. This will contribute to the district’s goals to raising those test averages, as well as having students career and college ready. When a teacher “create[s] a favorable classroom environment where students are more likely to be emotionally and intellectually invested in the classes in which they have positive relationships with their teachers” (Usul and Gizir, 2016) it shows that the students are academically invested in doing their best work. The drive to succeed can lead to intrinsically motivated students; and once repeated can turn into a lifetime of good habits and work ethic.
The Search Institute has established five key elements needed in order to start and maintain a relationship with another person: express care, challenge growth, provide support, share power, and expand possibilities. The Search Institute has identified sharing power as the biggest element a young person needs in a developmental relationship; it is also the element they feel the least. All five elements are especially important in the classroom because these elements can help a student “discover who they are, develop abilities to shape their own lives; and learn how to engage with and contribute to the world around them” (Search Institute). Their research has also shown when a young person has a higher number of strong relationships with adults their academic motivation increases, while “high-risk” behaviors decrease.
Some of the methods teachers can employ to develop relationships with their students include direct one-on-one conversation, contact in the hallways at school, attending events (both school and non-school related) that the student participates in, bring relevance into lessons, and, finally, maintain a level of respect in all interactions with the student.
In classes of 25-30 students, it can be difficult to launch a one-on-one rapport with a student. A teacher must make time to speak with his/her students. Greeting them at the door is one of the easiest ways to address everyone individually. Greeting them by name is even better. “A person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language” (Carnegie, 1981). A person’s name is personal. And when a teacher shows a student they know the student’s name it shows the student that they are valued in that classroom. The student will feel like they matter. When speaking with students one-on-one, teachers should try to discover the genuine interests of the students. This also implies caring. The teacher cares about the student as a whole person, not just as a student. “‘School’ success is about more than ‘academic’ success” (Scales, 2010).
One other method a teacher may utilize to communicate with students is social media. If permitted in the district (some have strict guidelines and policies about the use of social media between staff and teachers), social media, like Twitter, can be an excellent tool for a teacher to communicate with students. There is some debate about the appropriateness of teachers using social media with students. Sara Holmberg, professional guidance counselor at the Rutland School District believes that social media is a good tool to use “as long as all messages are saved. A teacher would never want to delete any communication with a student that took place in an app” (personal communication, December 22, 2017).
The hallways of the school are a good place for teachers to interact with students. This is a good place to see how they interact with their peers. This is a good way for a teacher to gauge a student’s sense of belonging. When walking through the halls teachers are able to greet students or just smile at them.
Attending events is another way to show students that their teacher supports them. Attending athletic events, concerts, and other performances shows students that their teacher is interested in them. Mendler and Mendler (2012) contend that
It is more important to be seen than to see. Find your students, and make sure they see you at the event. Make eye contact, wave, or, if you can, personally greet them. Remember, it is important for you to see your students, but it is much more important for them to see you! (p. 22)
When a teacher attends a student’s event it makes the student feel like they are supported, they matter, and the teacher genuinely cares for them. All things that will, again, increase a student’s sense of belonging.
When a teacher makes a lesson relevant to a student’s life it can greatly improve the relationship between a teacher and student. The student feels cared for because the teacher selected a topic or assignment in their particular interest level. When students are able to see real world application/relevance in an assignment they are more likely to be engaged learners. And when they are engaged in the work they will do a better job, and, therefore, earn a better grade.
Finally, one of the most important things that a teacher can do to promote a good relationship between themselves and students is to always address them with respect. In order to treat students with respect teachers should listen to understand, admit when they’re wrong, and be willing to sharing information about themselves.
Listening to understand is important because it shows that the teacher respects the student and their opinion. “They [students] need to feel heard and have someone support them” (Nesloney and Welcome, 2016). Teachers need to be open to hearing what students are telling them. If the teacher is simply waiting to respond to the student, instead of trying to understand things from their perspective the student will shut down and believe that the teacher does not care about them (Neslony and Welcome, 2016). Truly listening to students will help teachers when guiding them academically or otherwise.
Often, teachers are expected to know “everything.” Teachers are humans who can be wrong and make mistakes. As Dale Carnegie said, “If you’re wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically” (1981). Students should see adults they admire and respect admit when they’re wrong. Students appreciate honesty. Students may also be more willing to acknowledge and correct their own mistakes if they see this behavior modeled to them.
Conclusively, teachers can show students respect, thereby adding to their positive relationship, by demonstrating a willingness to share things about their own life. Students need to be reminded that teachers are real people with lives outside of the school. Students are interested in what their teacher does when they are outside of the school. A teacher should share personal connections when appropriate.
When respect is shared between a teacher and a student they will have a positive working relationship. According to Boynton and Boynton (2005), “when you treat students with respect, they tend to appreciate and like you, they are more willing to want to please you—which causes them to be more likely to behave appropriately.” Some teachers have the attitude that their respect has to be earned, but students should respect them immediately and without exception. This can cause problems in the teacher-student relationship. According to Monica Sullivan, a high school English teacher at Pipestone Area Schools, “some teacher’s don’t realize respect is a two-way street. They expect respect without giving it” (personal communication, November 8, 2017).
Teachers should foster positive working relationships with their students in order to increase each student’s feeling of belonging in the school. A sense of belonging will lead to fewer disciplinary problems in the classroom, increased classroom engagement, and better attendance; all of these contribute to the success of a student.
Proposed Plan
Attendance rates are declining, drop-outs have been occurring, on average, once a month, and animosity between students and teachers has risen at Pipestone Area Schools (PAS). While the teachers and administration talk about students “running to the building,” the relationships between teachers and students are not encouraging this mantra; it seems as though the students do not feel their school has a welcoming environment. The ACT scores have regularly been just below state and national averages. And the MCA (Minnesota Comprehensive Assessments) scores haven’t improved either. A few years ago Pipestone introduced the ICU program for missing assignments. While the program has resulted in fewer missing assignments in grade books, it has not improved test scores.
Exploring the idea of developmental relationships between high school students and teachers at PAS will lead to an improved school culture, which will include: improved attendance, reduced disciplinary referrals, and a student’s sense of belonging in their school. Three to five teachers will be asked to participate in an activity in which they try to develop relationships with their students. These teachers may be reluctant about the idea of building relationships, enjoy teaching, and have the desire to make a difference or try something new in their classroom. These teachers must be willing to acknowledge that relationships, in order to be effective, are “bi-directional” or each person actively participates (Search Institute).
When this team first meets they will need to come to a consensus about the concerns they see within the school and/or their classroom. They will also consider the data as it relates to attendance, disciplinary problems, and test scores. Teachers will be instructed to identify four to five students (from one class period) with whom they should attempt to build a developmental relationship. (Four to five students should be used because fewer may not demonstrate enough of a change for the teacher. Only one class period should be used in order that the teacher not become overwhelmed in the beginning.) Teachers should remember that in order to build relationships with students they need to: express care, challenge growth, provide support, share power, and expand possibilities. In order to produce results, for a period of one month:
1. Speak to the student daily (outside of class or on non-class topics);
2. Attend one of their extracurricular activities;
3. Talk to them during their lunch period;
4. Send them a note of encouragement;
5. Share something about yourself and;
6. Ask them for help.
The teachers should begin by speaking to this student each day about something that is not class specific (i.e. discussion about assignments or grades does not count). Instead the teacher should focus on the student’s interests out side of their class (this could include another class). Finding this student’s “spark” is key to expressing care and, possibly, providing support.
Attend one of their extra-curricular events, if applicable. “It is more important to be seen than to see” (Mendler, 2009). The teacher must ensure the student sees them; it is even better to speak to the student. If the teacher is able to stay for the entire event they should try to speak to them afterward. Teachers express care and provide support by attending an event that is important to the student.
Once a week the teacher should walk through the cafeteria to greet their students. It’s not necessary to linger, the teacher should remember that this is the student’s free time. This is also a good opportunity to share power, as the student has some control in this opportunity to control how long this conversation will last.
One time over this month long period, usually within the first two weeks, the teacher should send a handwritten note to the student via mail. Teachers can send short notes home, directly to the student, in which they acknowledge some accomplishment the student has recently achieved. This could be as minor as contributing in class to something as grand as winning a 100th wrestling match. The note should not criticize; the note should encourage the student. In either case, students enjoy getting this mail for at least two reasons: (1) getting mail is a novelty for students and (2) the student is being contacted for something good. Writing notes is also a good way to reach those students who may “hide in the middle.” It’s an excellent way for a teacher to let that student know that they see them and they matter, even though this student doesn’t usually get any attention—good or bad—in class. Students are also able to recognize the effort that it takes for someone (even a teacher) to actually put pen to paper to write something and send it in the mail. Written affirmation can express care, challenge growth, provide support, and expand possibilities.
The teacher should look for the opportunity to share appropriate information about themselves. In order to have a bi-directional relationship that is essential to relationship building, both parties, including the teacher must be willing to share things about themselves. This is a way of sharing power because it shows respect and inclusion in the relationship being built.
Finally, the teacher should find a way to ask the student for help. This will show the teacher’s vulnerability and trust in the student. This is done simply in the classroom by asking for the student’s input on recent or future assignments or by any other means of asking the student’s opinion. This is another good way to share power with the student.
When the team meets they should honestly reflect on their relationship with their students. They should ask and discuss:
1. Do they think their relationship with the student has changed? If so, how?
2. Have they enjoyed the class more?
3. When thinking about these particular students, how do you feel?
4. Have they seen changes in the student’s attitude, work, or attendance?
5. Did the student mention the note that was sent home to them?
This team of teachers will see the impact on their own classroom and see the experience of others. At this time, participate in a book study: The Taming of the Crew. The teachers should also be encouraged to continue building relationships for the remainder of the school year in order demonstrate success when mentoring and encouraging other teachers in the future.
When implementing this change some of the challenges expected are associated with the lack of teacher buy-in. There will be teachers who claim they don’t have the time, “that’s not my job,” and just don’t want to participate. Encouraging their involvement may be done through data. Teachers can analyze test scores, attendance patterns, and behavior to see the issues to be resolved in their school. These problems need to be resolved. (If they are unwilling to try this, they need to come up with a better solution.)
Teachers are busy people. In order to provide them with the time they need the process should be simplified. This is where the trial group of teachers will be able to attest to the time implementation actually took—not that much. As well as speak to the benefits—enjoying being around and working with students more, better attendance, higher achievement, and fewer disciplinary problems.
Finally, when teachers are unwilling to participate or claim “it’s not my job” they should be reminded that it has always been their job to help student develop their abilities, engage students, and help them contribute to the world. Building genuine relationships with students by utilizing the five elements (expressing care, challenging growth, providing support, sharing power, and expanding possibilities) is a proven way to do so.
In order for successful implementation at the high school level staff will need mentor teachers to help guide them, assigned students, and materials such as notecards and postage. The mentor teachers will be those who participated in the trial period in the spring. They will be able to help teachers by giving them ideas about when and where to connect with students. They will know what worked for them best in the previous spring. Assigning students in the fall will help the teachers by limiting confusion on where to start. Each teacher has an “advisory” group that they try to motivate and monitor throughout the school year. These fifteen students can be the focus of each teacher.
Mentor teachers will serve by encouraging teachers to add more students as they feel able. They will also help the teachers to acknowledge their own success by considering how their relationship with students have changed. Teachers will then be able to acknowledge that their relationships with students are intentional, not accidental. When teachers see results and have a better feeling working with their students the change will no longer be a change but common practice.
In order to give all students a sense of belonging at Pipestone Area Schools, teachers will intentionally build relationships with students utilizing the five elements of Search Institute’s developmental relationships framework: express care, challenge growth, provide support, share power, and expand possibilities. In recent years, students have shown apathy toward academics, attendance, and school rules. It has been shown that “high-quality relationships are essential to young people’s growth, learning, and thriving” (Search Institute). In order to be effective in the classroom, teachers must do whatever they can to build strong relationships with students.