Cultivating Empathy in Our Modern Age
Kennedy Landen
Honors 104
Dr. Simon
3/15/18
Emotion lies in our reaction to events in our life, which our brain creates thoughts to. This ultimately leads us to develop feelings. These feelings, or emotions, control our everyday lives because they lead to larger social circles and comfortable relationships. The ancient Greeks believed that love exists in forms other than just “one soulmate”, as the modern age has led us to believe. If we learn to cultivate empathy and love for others outside the dimensions of romantic attachments, we can flourish ourselves while feeling part of a larger whole.
For some reason, we equate modernity with with anonymity and egocentrism. Even though the United States is a “melting pot” of races, ethnicities, gender, and class, we often ignore these individual cultures and desire to make one universal “culture” of our own. Not to mention that most political or moral discourse we hear today is far from civil. From the beginning of our country’s foundation, we have struggled to make an attempt to understand one another. The reason America lacks so much empathy, as stated in Adam Smith’s The Wealth of Nations, is because “the great affair, we always find, is to get money.” (Smith 457) Wealth and inequality have always affected our thoughts and actions, no matter our economic circumstances. (Huff Post)
Does possessing more wealth equate to a lack of moral judgment and compassion? Empathy is not just a feeling – it’s verbal and nonverbal behavior that is expressed in a way that is authentic and caring. Studies have shown that individuals from lower-class environments are more perceptive of emotions because of an exposure to vulnerabilities and social threats. Homeless people in our society are treated as being less than human, suffering from apathy and hatred from individuals. If people willingly helped one another and thought of them as a friend or neighbor, the world would in a much better condition for all. Being kind is something we should all strive for. In Shakespeare’s King Lear, he details the condition of homelessness and how he finally comprehends things from their perspective.
“Expose thyself to feel what wretches feel,
That thou may'st shake the superflux to them,
And show the heavens more just.” (Shakespeare 3.4.32-41)
He wishes he had done something when he was still in a position of power to help those who were less fortunate, because now he understands how it feels to be completely devoid of resources. Since he had been stripped of all of his possessions and servants, he now has nothing and allowed himself to empathize with others along similar pathways.
One of the reasons that people lack so much empathy in modern times is that the culture they were raised in and abide by contains morals that conflict with others. Our society is more comfortable sparing little empathy with those who happen to be “wrong”. People find it easier to feel pity for those who are considered innocent victims, because they have not made any “morally wrong” choices. Once a person crosses that threshold and disagrees with following the values of the victimizer, the victimizer becomes upset and is unable to empathize with the victim. However, in many situations there are popular moral values that most of society agrees with. This is why public figures, such as presidents, do not ask crowds to bolster feelings of pity for certain individuals or populations. They automatically assume that audiences will already pity those victims. It is easy to feel pity for those who are unfortunate, because we want the problem to be fixed just as much as they do. However, it’s not as easy to put yourself in their shoes and try to see things from their perspective; this takes effort.
Don Quixote showcases excellent examples of generalized situations where people feel pity, but no empathy, for others:
“He lay there like a giant turtle enclosed and covered by its shells, or like half a side of bacon held between two salting-boards, or even like a boat lying upside down in the sand,
but not even when they saw that he had fallen did those mockers have any compassion for him.” (Cervantes 2.53)
Sancho’s suffering is described in such a way that the readers infer a level of empathy is needed to understand the context of the scene. It is explicitly detailed that the duke’s retainers, also known as the “mockers”, had a lack of empathy for Sancho. Although we have pity for him, it is hard for us to understand his perspective until the end of the passage. We are immediately encouraged to be thrown into Sancho’s shoes because we associate negative connotations with the word “mocker”.
It is important to note that the feeling of pity does not equate to having empathy. Having the emotion of pity does not mean that you understand and share the emotions of someone else. Empathy is connecting to someone else and not judging their situation in any way; just accepting it for what it is. It is essential to see them as they are and allow them to feel heard and accepted. Pity is usually nonjudgmental, but is occasionally condescending, caused by sufferings or misfortune of others. It can potentially be viewed as seeing the person as “less than” or as a victim, which can contribute to their suffering.
In a state of egocentrism, we forget to feel empathy for others because we are so overwhelmed with frustration and selfishness. We are so busy focusing on the respect we want towards ourselves that we don’t channel it towards others. It is possible to change your focus towards others and realize that you have the potential to better mankind. From an evolutionary point of view, we have gone from instinctively protecting our children to caring about our community. We feel the pain and joy of our neighbors, allowing us to trust and respect each other, if they return the favor (Human Basics).
Another example of the feeling of pity in Don Quixote is when the Duke and Duchess play numerous elaborate pranks on Quixote:
“The Duke and Duchess were within a hair's breadth of being thought fools themselves, for taking so much pains to make sport with the weakness of two poor silly wretches. (Cervantes 2.1.70.3)
Cervantes characterizes the Duke and Duchesses as being victimizers in this passage, labeling Quixote and Sancho as “poor silly wretches”. The Duke and Duchess find joy in manipulating others, abusing their power and control in order to have an entertaining ‘show’ of sorts. The audience is able to feel pity, but also understanding, because of the juxtaposition of the good and evil descriptions. Cervantes himself implies that we should empathize with the two characters. By placing strong adjectives within the descriptions, the audience understands the morality of each character.
Rifts in cultural traditions cause societies to have conflicts with each other. They are so confident in their personal beliefs they share with their culture that they refuse to look at the perspective of other societies. By making an effort to appreciate and/or understand others perspectives, we can become more tolerant and respectful. Instead of seeing other cultures as simply “good” or “bad”, individuals can become accepting of differences and allow them to coexist without making a judgment. People do not have to necessarily agree with others, they just have to be aware of the culture and how it has helped others.
In Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl, Mr. Sands actively participates in the patriarchal system and makes no effort to stop the enslavement of blacks or the sexual exploitation of black women. He tries to help his wife, Linda, by sheltering her and her children. He has compassion for the slave children as well, as seen in the following passage:
"I trusted him as if he were my own brother, and treated him as kindly.” (Jacobs 45)
Most slaveowners did not have any sense of compassion for slaves, no matter if they were children or not. Mr. Sands, although still a cruel character oftentimes, shows humanity and empathy for others in brief moments. In a story about slavery and oppression, there are still small moments of kindness and understanding:
“I was sure my friend, Mr. Sands, would buy me. He was a man of more generosity and feeling than my master.” (Jacobs 52)
This “feeling” allows the individuals in this story to feel validated for their needs and wants. Just the simple act of attempting to understand or do an act of kindness because we want to understand one another can have such a large impact on our lives. The cultural rift between Southern whites and African-Americans causes such a strong lack of empathy, but can, and did, become (somewhat) healed over time. Having a leader that shows a little bit of empathy can spread throughout society like wildfire. However, since society has yet to realize the importance of empathy in our modern age, it will be a long time before we achieve this.
Empathy is all encompassing and inclusive, and leads individuals to feel as if they are part of a whole. Cultivating a space where everyone feels comfortable speaking up without fear of being judged is such a transformative element in a productive society. People should be able to discuss their differences and expand their perspectives, creating a culture where everyone belongs. Unfortunately, it is hard to produce a society that communicates like this, and even harder to maintain it.
An individual that feels excluded from society can be a result of the class system and distribution of wealth. Those who are wealthier in society have been proven to be less compassionate, mostly because of the increase of freedom and independence that wealth tends to bring. The less that individuals have to continually rely on others for financial support, the less they care about their feelings (Scientific American). In developed countries, especially in the United States, the correlation between wealth and compassion demonstrates that the most powerful people are the least likely to make wise decisions for the poor because of their lack of empathy for them. As described in The Wealth of Nations, unequal distribution causes a cycle of conflict and desire:
“For one very rich man there must be at least five hundred poor, and the affluence of the few supposes the indigence of the many. The affluence of the rich excites the indignation of the poor, who are often both driven by want, and prompted by envy, to invade his possessions.” (Smith 297)
There are so much less rich people than there are poor, yet they control the world so heavily. Smith describes this disillusionment that the poor have when thinking about the rich. However, if the rich were to have more empathy, the power struggle would be less of an issue, and this cycle of mutual coercion wouldn’t exist.
While power and class struggle result as a lack of empathy, cultural relativism is achieved when individuals attempt to understand culture. As discussed in Robinson Crusoe, cultural relativism allows characters to undergo perspective shifts and personal transformations. Crusoe himself struggles with justifying the morality of cannibalism, because he understands that it is ingrained in the cannibal's own culture, but it is drastically different from his own values. When he observes these cannibals, he comes to the conclusion that cannibalism is a “national crime” and does not allow Friday to practice it. This passage is ironic in the aspect that Friday himself is a slave and Crusoe has had multiple slaves over the course of the novel, which is dehumanizing another person (along the lines of cannibalism). Crusoe eventually starts to question his own judgments he has made about the cannibals and contemplates the concept of cultural relativism. In the passage shown below, Crusoe is having an internal argument with himself over the issue of the cannibals.
“They think it no more a crime to kill a captive taken in war than we do to kill an ox; nor to eat human flesh, than we do to eat mutton.” (Defoe 255)
He carefully considers how the cannibals act in comparison to humans within his culture. His moral values are what first triggers him into lashing out and having a heavy emotional response. Some moral values are not as clear-cut as others, which causes Crusoe to debate with himself and switch his perspective. For a brief moment, he is considering the perspective of cannibals and empathizing with them. Modern day individuals would be disgusted when reading this because their morals are so vastly different than those of cannibals. It is overwhelmingly difficult to place ourselves in the shoes of cannibals, but when presented with certain logical or emotional areas of evidence, we could be persuaded.
Some cultural bias presents itself in Shelley’s Frankenstein. Language showcases itself as the root of all empathy in the novel, and also works to build the Monster’s character. When the monster meets De Lacey, a blind man, he opens up to him and vocalizes the rejection he’s faced since his birth. De Lacey responds with empathy and kindness:
“I am blind and cannot judge of your countenance, but there is something in your words which persuades me…it will afford me true pleasure to be in any way serviceable to a human creature.” (Shelley 123)
The fact that De Lacey refers to the Monster as a human creature shows that he is willing to cast aside any differences to make the Monster feel more included. Even though he cannot see the Monster, he empathizes with the loneliness the Monster faces and offers his help. The Monster also empathizes with the family, observing the family’s interactions daily and finding solace in their inner workings. He communicates with the family through an “invisible hand”, using it to collect wood for the family fire. The family, in turn, is very grateful which helps the Monster cultivate empathy for them.
Victor Frankenstein also demonstrates empathy when reflecting upon the creation of the monster at the end of the novel.
“His words had a strange effect upon me. I compassionated him and sometimes felt a wish to console him, but when I looked upon him, when I saw the filthy mass that moved and talked, my heart sickened.” (Shelley 136)
Throughout the novel, Victor discusses how he could never relate to the Monster or the harm it has caused to others. However, in this passage, he meets the Monster and communicates with it, gaining a new perspective. Language is essential in Frankenstein because it is how compassion is communicated, formed, and cultivated.
I’ve learned after reading through these novels that it is basic human nature to put ourselves in other individuals’s minds and try to understand their perspectives. Even though these stories do not have context on the entire background behind characters, we can still understand how they feel in that moment because we are both human. We don’t have to look entirely at the historical facts of a story, we can simply observe human fallible people in a constantly fluctuating world. We are all united in imagining the experiences of other functional beings. This is how we experience the world’s cultures and countless diverse perspectives.
The more we exercise compassion, the stronger bonds we have within our relationships. To listen to others, to be mindful, to be patient, are all traits that result when we put in effort to acknowledge and validate others. Apathy is what shapes destructive leaders who only look out for their own selfish pleasures. Empathy is displayed and demonstrated differently, but altogether makes individuals grow and prosper. Empathy weaves people together and brings peace and resolution to conflicts.
Empathy is a vital bridge between an individual and the community. It allows people to link their own interests to the interests of others. We should take the opportunity to cultivate the skill of imagining the experiences of others and validating their emotions. We should do this without leaving ourselves behind in the process, instead growing and pushing forwards to find the balance between the two. Life will become so much easier when we help others feel less alone and down.