Parenting Styles
There are so many different types of people that interact every day. Between classes, work, the grocery line, and even just watching television. What makes them tick? What makes us tick? How do we handle certain situations? It could be speculated that it all starts in our initial interactions with the first people we know, our parents. How parents choose to nurture and teach their children is fundamental. So with that in mind, there are a few different types of parenting according to Diana Baurmind. (Baurmind 1971,2012) Parenting styles are categorized into four main parts. Authoritarian, Authoritative, Indulgent and Neglectful. (Baurmind 1971, 2012) Parenting styles play a major role in child development. These styles can be interpreted differently in other cultures.
Developmental Theory
One of the first types of parenting styles described in Essentials of life-span development is authoritarian parenting. Authoritarian parenting is defined as “a restrictive punitive style in which parents exhort the child to follow their directions and to respect work and effort”. (Santrock p.172) The authoritarian parent places firm limits and controls on the child and allows little verbal exchange”. (Santrock p.172). An example of this style of parenting would be a child coming from a military family who is expected to obey without question. This prevents the child’s ability to think for themselves, achieve the ability to think critically and properly be able to communicate to others their thoughts and opinions. “Children with an authoritarian parent are less likely to disobey and lack communication skills”. (Santrock p. 172)
Another type of parenting style found in the book would be an authoritative style of parenting. Authoritative may seem similar to authoritarian parenting however they differ. Authoritative parenting is defined as “Parenting style in which parents encourage their children to be independent but still place limits and controls on their actions”. (Santrrock p. 172) Extensive verbal gives and take is allowed, and parents are warm and nurturing toward the child.” (santrock p.172). For example, I will ask my nephews Asher and Denvi to pick up their toys. They reply why Auntie Fabi? I remind them that putting their toys away keeps the room tidy and ready to use the next time they want to play. Although Asher and Denvi do not like putting their toys away. They both understand the task that was given to them and the reason behind that task. Children whose parents are authoritative are often cheerful, self controlled, and self- reliant, and achievement- oriented: they tend to maintain friendly relations with peers, cooperate with adults and cope well with stress (Santrock p. 172 & Baumrind 1971,2012)
The third type of parenting styles defined would be neglectful parenting. Neglectful parenting is defined as the follows “a style of parenting in which the parent is very uninvolved in the child’s life: it is associated with children’s incompetence, especially a lack of self control” (Santrock p. 172, Baumrind 1971, 2012). Neglectful parents focus on themselves rather than the child’s needs. Children with neglectful parents tend to do as they please with no rules, structure, or limitations. For example, a child can be failing academically and parent will be asked to provide support and make adjustments for the child to do better in school. The neglectful parent will not be supportive or encouraging. The child then faces the problem alone and continues to fail. Many children face long life issues with coping, self esteem, and less successful.
The final type of parenting style found in the text is indulgent parenting. It is defined as “a style of parenting in which parents are highly involved with their children but place few demands or controls on them.” (Santrock p.172, Baurmind 1971,2012). For example, a child may ask for permission to go out on a school night and the parent will say yes. The parent will include themselves in the activity. Parent is viewed more like a friend and less of a parent. (Kato,2018). Children with indulgent parents have no structure, rules, nor consequences. Many lack self control and social skills.
These parenting styles are broken down further by level of acceptance and identified as demandingness and responsiveness. “Demandingness refers to the extent to which parents make control, supervision, and, maturity demands in their parenting”. (Baumrind, 1989, 1991; Bersabe, Fuentes, & Motrico, 2001; Maccoby & Martin, 1983; Musitu & Garcia, 2004; Villabobos, Cruz & Sanchez, 2004). “Whereas responsiveness refers to the extent to which parents show their children warmth and acceptance, give them support and reason with them”. (Baumrind, 1989, 1991; Bersabe, Fuentes, & Motrico, 2001; Maccoby & Martin, 1983; Musitu & Garcia, 2004; Villabobos, Cruz & Sanchez, 2004). All of these parenting styles are placed in both categories.
Cross-Cultural Research
In this study the main focus is the impact that parenting styles have on adolescents in Spain. The study compares parenting styles differ culturally and the effect on self esteem and internalization. For example, Self esteem and internalization are influenced by one another. Grusec & Goodnow suggest that internalization should be measured in terms of prosocial behavior- consideration for the feeling or needs of others and level of moral reasoning. (Grusec &Goodnow, 1994 p.339). Moreover, these authors recommend taking into account other variables of psychological adjustments, such as self esteem, that required for the internalization of values; according to them, low self esteem impediment to internalization because it “could lead to reduction on the child’s part in standards for acceptable behavior and interfere with internalization” (Grusec &Goodnow, 1994 p.339). In the western culture authoritative parenting is the best parenting style that provides a child with structure and support. Which leads to a more rounded development. In Spain this concept was a slightly different.
According to The Spanish Journal of Psychology a study was conducted on 1456 adolescents and their parents participated in this study. Out of these adolescent participants 54.3% female and 45.7% males, ranging from 13-16 years of age. (Baumrind, 1989, 1991; Bersabe, Fuentes, & Motrico, 2001; Maccoby & Martin, 1983; Musitu & Garcia, 2004; Villabobos, Cruz & Sanchez, 2004). Participants are from middle class Spain that attend public and private schools. They conducted this study by using the survey and an F- test. The participants were asked several questions and scored based on the answers they provided. The results provided evidence that authoritative parenting differ slightly in Spanish culture. In the Spanish culture authoritative and indulgent parenting style adolescents had higher academic self esteem. Adolescents with authoritarian and neglectful parents had the lowest academic self esteem. When compared to western culture the best parenting method would be authoritative. (Kato, 2018). Unlike the western culture, adolescents in Spain did better indulgent and authoritative parents.
Conclusion
It is near impossible to be the perfect parent, regardless of what part of the world we live in. It is based on my own experience and by the author of our textbook, that balance of all types is the best way to nurture and teach a child. Parenting styles set the foundation of a child’s development. Children are meant to learn, grow and experience as much as possible. The parent guides and support the child, and should to the very best of their ability. Without crucial parenting methods a child can become underdeveloped and suffer the consequences. In conclusion, based on lecture, the textbook from class, the articles provided, and my own experience with my siblings and nephews, out of the four parenting styles provided I believe that authoritative is the best way to raise a child. This method of parenting allows me to provide them with structure but still give them enough freedom to explore and learn on their own without watching their every move or protecting them from every single thing. My nephews also respond better to reasoning when given a task. It is very important that they have a solid foundation that can help them later on in life when faced with life’s dilemmas.