As an institution designed for the separation of sexes, another binary has come to my attention through this project. Although there has been movement toward a more inclusive Greek system, individuals with marginalized identities have been discouraged from going through the recruitment process. For my project, I will be focusing on the marginalization of bisexuality in the Greek community, which stems from monosexist culture and the hetero/homo binary. Although homosexuality is still a marginalized and underrepresented identity, it is far more accepted and recognized as a legitimate sexuality because this orientation involves attraction to a single sex, similar to heterosexuality. This notion that being attracted to a single sex—whether it is the same or opposite—is inherently more valid or logical than bisexuality, or the attraction to members of more than one sex. Although homosexuality is not widely represented amount the Greek life community, this inflexible binary still recognizes heterosexuality and homosexuality as the only true sexual orientations, leaving little room for bisexual individuals to claim their identity. This culture is based in the assumption of monosexuality and deters those who do not fit the monosexual (which is still predominantly heterosexual) mold from going through the recruitment process due to the fear that their identity will not be seen as legitimate by either sides of the binary. Members of Greek life who challenge the hetero/homo binary may be subject to bi-invisibility and struggle to find a sense of belonging within their own chapter. Greek life has made improvements toward becoming more inclusive toward gay and lesbian individuals, while still neglecting other identities that call under the Marginalized Orientations, Gender Identities, and Intersex (MOGAI) umbrella. To explore Greek life’s monosexual culture, I have chosen to study Reagan Daves, a current member and the active sisterhood chair of Alpha Gamma Delta at Indiana University, who identifies as bisexual.
To gain a deeper understanding of how Reagan is able to claim her identity as a bisexual woman in Greek life, I have examined the way in which she expresses herself in front of our chapter, as well as in casual, informal conversation. As a result of her current relationship with a man, Reagan must work twice as hard to not only prove her membership with the MOGAI community, but also prove her bisexual identity as a valid orientation in a monosexist environment. By breaking the hetero/homo binary, bisexuality receives a lot of skepticism from both monosexual orientations and their resistance to accept attraction to more than one sex as possible. Common stereotypes about bisexuality, especially for individuals in a college setting, include the notion that they are just extremely promiscuous, seeking attention, and going through a phase and are confused. Reagan’s identity with the MOGAI and bisexual communities, as well as the stereotypes and misunderstanding around them, play a big part in the expression of her sexual identity to our chapter.
Reagan graduated from Assumption High School, a Catholic all-girls school in Louisville, Kentucky, in 2016 and is currently finishing up her sophomore year as a political science major at Indiana University. She is a member of my pledge class, PC ’17, in the Beta Delta chapter of Alpha Gamma Delta. Apart from our predominantly monosexual chapter (only one openly homosexual), Reagan is currently the only member who openly defies the hetero/homo binary as a bisexual. Her sexuality is frequently misidentified as heterosexual due to her current relationship with a man, whereas if she were dating a female society would label her as homosexual. During the Fall 2017 semester, Reagan was elected as our chapter’s sisterhood chair, meaning she helps plans events designed to strengthen our chapter’s sisterhood. As the sisterhood chair, she has given our chapter presentations in the past to educate our members on inclusion of marginalized sexualities and genders, while also reinforcing her own identity with this community. She has also sent out emails to every member in our chapter with information on upcoming events linked to this topic. Although she is not the only MOGAI member of our house, she is the only one openly challenging the monosexist culture that is often rejected by heterosexuals and homosexuals alike. Due to this, she uses herself as a spokeswoman for MOGAI identities as a whole, meanwhile educating others on bisexuality to ensure it is not ignored in a community where the hetero/homo binary have determined it to be impossible.
Although she lives in the room next to mine, I am not at all close with Reagan. We are in different friend groups that do not contain any close mutual friends, so we do not hang out much outside of events for our chapter. Even though we do not engage in deep conversation with each other regularly, we still occasionally take part in small talk when we see each other in the hallway or bathroom. Reagan uses her position in our house as a channel to communicate her bisexuality, shut down any hetero/homo assumptions, and prevent others from masking her identity and ignoring the struggles that bisexuals face in our society. As a member of the monosexual, non-MOGAI community, I benefit from the privilege of fitting the hetero/homo binary. Unlike Reagan, I do not have to prove my sexuality or its validity because my sexuality is already recognized as real and I do not have to worry about being mislabeled. With this binary, our society assumes she is monosexual, whether she is with the same sex or the opposite. These assumptions categorize her sexuality as one or the other; polar opposites that are distinct and disconnected from one another with no overlap of the two. Instead of allowing others to put their own label on her and let her benefit off of the recognition and validity these two monosexual orientations receive, she goes out of her way to actively seek ways to claim her bisexual identity and its legitimacy. In order to keep members in our house from making monosexual assumptions, Reagan uses her power as Director of Sisterhood to communicate her identity through presentations and emails. Since being elected for her position, Reagan has given two presentations to our chapter, education us on the fluidity of sexuality and demonstrating ways that we can be aware and inclusive of marginalized sexualities and genders. Reagan’s position within our chapter has given her the power and means to act as a spokeswoman for MOGAI individuals, while also giving her the opportunity to prove her identity’s validity and break down the binary through education and awareness. In her most recent presentation, she included definitions of various aspects of sexuality and gender, such as the different types of attraction and pronouns, and shared a few steps we can take as individuals and as a chapter to make our house a more accepting and safe environment for MOGAI identities, specifically bisexuality. Due to her involvement in theatre and her high school’s debate team, Reagan has been able to practice her voice and presentations skills and perfect her ability to speak to a crowd. This has come in handy, especially when she puts herself in the spotlight in front of our whole chapter, highlighting her bisexuality, proving her sexuality’s validity, and speaking out against the lack of inclusivity in Greek life.
To understand how Reagan communicates her sexuality, I was able to take notes during a presentation she gave and speak with her individually. In our pledge class GroupMe message, Reagan announced she would be giving a presentation to our house during the next chapter, so I saw this as an excellent opportunity to observe how she communicates her identity as a bisexual woman defying our community’s monosexual culture. After she gave the presentation, she emailed every member a recap, which was helpful for me to look back at to recognize any details I did not notice the first time. In addition to this, I was able to ask Reagan a few questions about her sexuality’s misrepresentation and marginalization in a society that refuses to let go of the hetero/homo binary and accept other possible orientations and how these experiences have made her who she is today.
The presentation Reagan gave was during one of our regular chapter meetings on October 22, 2017. Chapter happened just like any other would, but at the end, our president mentioned that our Director of Sisterhood, Reagan, would be giving us a presentation, which she had already mentioned to our pledge class in our GroupMe and told us not to miss it. Reagan got up in front of our entire chapter and gave us a PowerPoint presentation on how we can be more inclusive and respectful toward sexualities and genders that are different than our own. At times during the presentation, she was somewhat fidgety and moving around in a way that seemed uncomfortable. This only happened a few times, but I attribute that to her nervousness for being in the spotlight and talking about the main factor that differentiates her from the rest our house. Other than those few moments, she was calm, positive, and spoke with a firm tone, asserting her authority and this community’s validity. To start her presentation, which was titled “How to Ally: A Five Step Guide to Being a Friend to the Gays,” she stated that she identifies as bisexual, once again declaring that her identity does not fit the binary but is still just as real as monosexuality. Even though she has a boyfriend who she has been seeing for over a year, she still finds it important to identify herself, especially in spaces where her sexuality is frequently ignored. After the title slide, there was a slide titled, “Vocab Lesson,” in which she gave the definitions to various words she planning to use throughout her presentation so that no one was confused on did not understand. This slide provided definitions for LGBTQ+, queer, MOGAI, and SAGA. Her next slide shed some light on problems that this community faces, including youth homelessness, whitewashing, stereotyping, mental illness, sexualization/desexualization, and inter-community conflict and highlighted that bisexuals have it even worse. This slide was put in place to create a feeling of empathy among the audience to humanize this community. In the next slide, Reagan included a visual aide titled, “The Genderbread Person,” and addressed that gender identity, gender expression, and biological sex are complex and not straightforward, just like sexuality. By including this, she was able to put an emphasis on the multidimensional structure of sexuality and imply that just because you cannot understand something does not mean it does not exist. Reagan’s last few slides included steps that we can take to be an ally to this community. The step was to ask questions. Reagan then went on to explain to it is always better to ask than assume something about someone. As someone whose sexuality is wrongly assumed regularly, this was an important slide in her presentation because she it signaling the audience that she does not want to be misidentified anymore. Another step was to go with the flow and not be scared of this community because even though you do not fully understand it, you have to respect it. During this slide, she made eye contact with people around the room and spoke in an assertive tone. This indicated this step was serious, especially when it comes to bisexuals like her who are often ignored. The last step she gave to being a good ally was to give MOGAI people the ability to lead. Reagan stressed the importance of giving these people the keys and letting them drive the movement because after all, they are the experts and other people are simply just allies. Through this, she once again brought the focus back to the fact that she is connected with the community and wanted our chapter to be fully aware of her bisexuality. Reagan goes out of her want to claim her identity as a bisexual woman and assert this part of her identity’s validity through this presentation. As our only openly bisexual member she feels obligated to ensure a safe space for closeted members to come out, as well as work toward a community that recognizes sexualities outside the binary. As someone who has already come out to the world, she has tackled the main obstacle of telling friends and family, yet she must continue to fight society’s monosexual assumptions. She knows that it is like to be in the closet in a community that is built on monosexual culture, so she does what she can to encourage others to claim their identity and fully express themselves instead of accepting what the world has labeled them and blending in with either the heterosexual or homosexual communities. After all, Greek life is about finding a place where you belong and members should not be afraid of expressing their identity, even if it does not fit the binary.
In addition to this, I stopped by Reagan’s room and asked her a few questions about her sexuality and her identity within the Greek community. Due to the fact that she lives in the room next to mine in our chapter house, I was easily able to find a time that worked for both of us. The interview was very casual, she sat in her desk chair and I sat on the futon near her desk and the conversation just flowed. I was able to record the interview on my phone as well as jot down notes while she spoke on things such as her tones, body language, eye contact, etc. The interview was very laid back and relaxed and gave me a better sense of how she communicates her identity in regular conversation, as opposed to how she communicated her identity in a formal setting like she did during her presentation. When I asked her what importance her presentation held to her, she responded with this:
…as someone who has the privilege of passing for straight, especially in Greek life, I feel like it’s kind of my responsibility to give a voice for those whose voices are ignored or don’t feel comfortable speaking up. I mean, let’s be realistic, we’re part of a chapter with over two hundred members, statistically speaking there’s got to be no way I’m the only person who is bisexual. As you know, we have a new member who’s a lesbian. She came out not long after joining the house and was immediately accepted and her sexuality is recognized and respected. I’m not saying I wasn’t accepted when I came out to the house, but I have to work harder to prove that my sexuality is real, that I’m not confused, and I’m not figuring out whether I like boys or girls. Even though I’m dating a guy, I don’t want people to forget that I’m still bisexual or think I’m straight because that’s just not who I am… (Interview at Alpha Gamma Delta, February 13, 2018)
As someone who has the ability to blend in with the accepted hetero/homo binary, Reagan uses her position as Director of Sisterhood to bring attention to her bisexuality and negate any monosexual assumptions. The lack of acceptance toward bisexuality is not a new topic of discussion, but Reagan still does what she can to shift our chapter toward a more accepting environment. She is able to educate us, eliminate stereotypes, and encourage others who do not fit the hetero/homo binary to claim their identity rather than let others assign it for them. While using herself as a spokeswoman for the MOGAI community, she also ensures that her correct sexuality is recognized, rather than erased. Her persistence to ensure people do not assume she is straight made me wonder what experiences she had in the past as a bisexual individual that shaped her identity and helped her create her voice as a spokeswoman for these underrepresented sexualities and genders. This thought led me to ask her about when she came to the realization that she was not straight and when she came out, to which she said this:
…The first people I told were my parents because I’m so close with them. I grew up in a super liberal home, so my parents were really accepting, but I was still nervous how people at school would react. Since it was an all-girls catholic school, we didn’t have many openly queer students. And again, like that’s just not statistically possible. At the beginning of sophomore year, I decided I would finally come out to my close friends first and then my classmates. They were nice about it but I could tell girls at school just thought I was rebelling or just trying to get attention from guys. It’s hard for people to accept that you can like more than just guys or just girls because they just don’t understand it. (Interview at Alpha Gamma Delta, February 13, 2018)
Through her experiences in high school, Reagan has been able to determine the importance expressing her sexuality holds to her, even in communities that reject her sexuality or pick a label for her as gay or straight. Similar to Greek life, she was faced with a monosexist culture that seemed to want her to make up her mind and pick a side because her attraction to more than one sex was illogical. Again faced with a community that turns a blind eye to the legitimacy of bisexualism, Reagan prefers to put her sexuality on display to limit the amount of people trying to pin her at one end of the hetero/homo binary or the other.
Reagan utilizes her position as a our chapter’s sisterhood chair to act as a spokeswoman for underrepresented sexualities and gender identities by educating our house on these sexualities to create a more inclusive space, as well as claim her own identity as bisexual. Rather than allowing this hetero/homo binary assign her sexuality as one or the other and deny her true identity’s legitimacy, she actively seeks out ways to connect herself to the MOGAI and bisexual communities and prove her validity. It would be easy for Reagan to pass as straight and fit within Greek life’s expectations and assumptions of monosexuality, but instead she refuses to let others ignore the obstacles she went through when trying to understand her attractions, figuring out she was bisexual, and coming out to the world. This is especially important in a society where some still view bisexuality as invalid, making it easier for monosexuals to falsify this sexuality’s legitimacy by categorizing these individuals as either hetero or homo, creating bi invisibility and rejecting their existence. Reagan’s sexuality is marginalized within MOGAI community, which is already marginalized by heteronormative culture in our society. She must fight even harder and use her communication to not only claim her identity as her own, but to prove it exists in communities that push to categorize sexualities into a binary.