The Effects of Divorce on Children and How It Shapes Society
With divorce rates rising drastically over the past decades, it is almost impossible to ignore the effects that divorce has on children and the way it shapes our society as a whole. Divorce affects children cognitively psychosocially and physically. Although each individual case of divorce is unique and affects some children more harshly than others, it is also important to analyze this issue as a whole and the way in which it shapes our society. Statistics show that in the United States today, the divorce rate is as high as 50% and furthermore over 40% of children are living without their fathers. Divorce is certainly a prominent subject in society today and has an impact of family units that is far greater than many people may expect. Insight into exactly what provokes these developmental issues of children of divorce sheds light on how detrimental divorce can be to society as whole. Divorce can become a vicious cycle, creating mindsets in children that they will carry with them throughout relationships later in life, ultimately setting them on the path towards divorce themselves.
A child’s cognitive achievement is found to be significantly different if their parents are divorced. There is strong evidence that gives reasoning for this result. Parents who are divorced are likely to be less committed to their families than if they were married, thus investing less time in their children. This lack of investment is found to have a direct correlation with cognitive development of children including their academic performance. Children who are younger when their parents divorce are affected more intensely because it is more difficult for them to grasp the concept of what is happening. At such a young age, children have less accessibility to support and are more likely to fear abandonment. Most children endure strong feelings of loss in the early years of their lives due to how much they miss their absent parent. Often times, children and adolescents find it so hard to accept the reality of their parents’ divorce that they begin experiencing false hopes of the reconciliation of their parents’ marriage. Divorce can leave a child feeling extremely isolated and in turn they only see the negative perspective of the divorce for an extended period of time. Low levels of parental support can increase behavioral problems in adolescents. School is the primary environment in which children begin to act out. Withdrawal, aggression, needy, and disobedient behavior can all be recognized in the classroom. Daydreaming and not doing schoolwork are also typical behaviors that teachers see in children of divorced parents. A major component of divorce in children that relates to the school environment is the urge that these children feel to take on a greater responsibility than most of their peers. Tasks such as getting up in the morning, packing their lunch and getting on the school bus have become part of the responsibilities they face alone, whereas children with more involved parents typically are aided in this. When children grow and develop in an environment like this it can be means for developing problems in later years. Outcomes of this type of childhood include things such as inappropriate internalizing and externalizing of problems, numerous sexual partners, alcohol and drug use. In addition to divorce, hostility among parents positively predicts their children using drugs and alcohol as a coping mechanism and shows they are more prone to emotional outbursts. Children who experience the divorce of their parents at a young age begin to develop these type of tendencies throughout their life. Divorce is something that can affect a person throughout the entirety of their life, not just adolescence.
If divorce can have such intense impact on a child and their life growing up, it is not hard to see how it can affect them in their adult years. Divorce can have lasting effects that in turn, influence these children’s future families. Using their parents’ marriage as a model, these children often are reluctant to make commitment when it comes to relationships and love in fear that history will repeat itself. When these people begin to develop caring relationships with others, they sometimes use self-protectant coping methods in hopes to avoid the negative feelings in association with divorce. This can display in a variety of different ways including avoidance of attachment or manipulative behavior that ensures the other party will not abandon them. The word love becomes more of a reminder of the loss and pain they experienced from their parents’ divorce rather than feelings of happiness, safety and trust.
Some may not take into consideration the physical effects divorce has on children as it seems to be more of a mental and emotional issue from a distance. However, the physical effects of divorce are numerous and should not be disregarded. Divorce can have a long term negative impact on a child’s life. The stress of divorce may cause changes in children sleep patterns, appetite and lifestyle which can result in physical changes in their overall health. At age four or five children will often blame themselves for the separation. This can then lead to separation anxiety and fears of abandonment. Children will often cry at home and are embarrassed to tell their peers about their situations because they don’t want people to feel bad for them. It is often hard for adolescents to feel like children with intact families can relate to them thus leaving them feeling isolated from their peers. Children can begin to develop a sense of disconnection from one parent when they primarily live with the other parent. Children often struggle with how they are supposed to feel about their parents. Since they often feel like the divorce is their fault they also may believe that have to choose sides. They become unsure whether they are supposed to blame or dislike one parent when they are with the other. Adjustment is typically harder for boys than it is for girls because they find it more difficult to express their emotions regarding their situation. Divorce of parents can lead to depression and even suicidal thoughts in young children and teenagers, consequently creating a need for these kids to be prescribed depression medications they may not otherwise require. Overall, divorce tends to have greater effects on children the younger that they are and consequently children whose parents have divorced tend to mature faster. Divorce can affect a child in countless ways and physically alter various aspects of their lives.
In Society, a family is a fundamental social unit. Families are essential to the educational financial and emotional stability that each member needs in order to thrive in society. Divorce deteriorates this opportunity to thrive in both divorced adults and their children as they are weakened mentally and physically. This brings about doubt in people minds about whether it is worthwhile to start their own family in order to avoid high-risk marriages. When people evade family life it can disturb social harmony in society. Divorce inevitably requires a lifestyle adjustment from all parties involved. Parents need to be aware of just how severely the effects of divorce can impact their children. It is their job as the role models for these developing adolescents to provide them with whatever support they require. Many times parents become so involved with their own emotional trauma that is a side effect of the divorce that the tend to neglect to the feelings of their own children. This is the root of the problem that leads to so many problems in children of divorce. Sociologists have found one concept that lessens the harsh reality of this disturbance to society and that is compromise. Parents who divorce but still agree to be civil and create a stable environment for their children to grow in lessen the likelihood that their child will experience developmental problems. Responsibility, flexibility and awareness are three characteristics of healthy support for children that should be arranged between two parents. Parental commitment does not mean commitment to each other in marriage but to their children. Children will recognize this alliance in their parents and will be less likely to develop trust issues that will hinder their future relationships. Although parents may not stay together, it is crucial that they provide the necessary support that their children require in order to ensure overall physical cognitive and social wellbeing.