PasteSummary
“Roger Fisher was the Samuel Williston Professor of Law, Emeritus, Harvard Law School and founder of the Harvard Negotiation Project. A pioneer in the field of international law and negotiation, and the co-founder of the Harvard Negotiation Project, Fisher died on August 25, 2012. Fisher helped to establish negotiation and conflict resolution as a field deserving academic study.
His best-selling book, “Getting to Yes: Negotiating Without Giving In” (co-authored with William Ury in 1981), has been translated into 23 languages and has sold more than 3 million copies worldwide.
According to Robert C. Bordone: “Roger was a master at the art of perspective-taking, of understanding how deep human needs—to be heard, valued, respected, autonomous and safe—when unmet or trampled upon, become seeds of evil and violence, seeds that can cause us to vilify each other, and that motivate us to see the world in stark black-and-white terms” (https://www.mediate.com/people/personprofile.cfm?auid=623).
“William Ury is an American author, academic, anthropologist, and negotiation expert. He co-founded the Harvard Program on Negotiation.[1]Additionally, he helped found the International Negotiation Network with former President Jimmy Carter. Ury is the co-author of Getting to Yes with Roger Fisher, which set out the method of principled negotiation and established the idea of the best alternative to a negotiated agreement (BATNA) within negotiation theory.
Ury co-authored Getting to Yes with Roger Fisher as a guide for international mediators. It was first published in 1981, then published in a second edition in 1991 with Bruce Patton credited as a contributing author. A third edition was published in 2012” (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Ury).
“Bruce Patton is a Distinguished Fellow of the Harvard Negotiation Project (HNP), which he co-founded with Roger Fisher and William Ury in 1979 and administered as Deputy Director until 2009. With Fisher, Patton pioneered the teaching of negotiation at Harvard Law School, where he was Thaddeus R. Beal Lecturer on Law for fifteen years. He continues to teach the Negotiation Workshop and Advanced Negotiation Workshop in the Harvard Negotiation Institute, the Program on Negotiation for Senior Executives, and occasional courses for law students.
Patton is the co-author with Roger Fisher and William Ury of Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In(Second Edition, Penguin, 1991), and with Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen of Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most (Viking/Penguin, 1999). To date, there are more than 5 million copies of Getting to Yes in print in 36 languages, while Difficult Conversations is a New York Times business bestseller that has been translated into almost as many languages” (https://www.pon.harvard.edu/faculty/bruce-patton/).
Fisher and Ury lay out four principles that show one how to be an effective negotiator. “These four principles are separating people from the problem, focusing on the interest rather than positions, generation a variety of options before settling on an agreement and insisting that the agreement be based on objective criteria” (Fisher and Ury, 2011, p.11).
Fisher and Ury begin by saying that for one to have a good agreement, one that is wise and that is efficient, a good agreement will improve the people that are involved relationships.
The main objective is to generate a method that results in good agreements.
Unfortunately, problems do exist but the best way to deal with people problems is to try to prevent them from happening. If people have good relationships, it is less likely that a problem will arise. If you can get people to think of themselves and others as partners in negotiations rather than enemies, the chances of problems occurring are less likely.
When people have good agreements, they are more likely to keep their mindset on the persons’ interest rather than the position they hold. “Your position is something you have decided upon. Your interest is what caused you to so decide” (Fisher and Ury, 2011, p.42).
Unfortunately, there is no negotiation method that can possibly overcome the differences in power. “The reason you negotiate is to produce something better than the results you can obtain without negotiation” (Fisher and Ury, 2011, p.104). When one can walk away from negotiations, that is when you have power.
If one side refuses to budge, Fisher and Ury give three approaches for those not willing to bargain. “First, one side may use the principled approach. Second, they may use “negotiation jujitsu” and thirdly, the one text approach” (Fisher and Ury, 2011, p.110).
When the parties involved cannot agree, there are times that one of the parties may try tricky tactics. The party that is being attacked should recognize and respond in a positive, yet protective way for themselves. The party that is being attacked should point out the tricky attacks and let the other party know that they can stop or the negotiations are off.
Concrete Response
I have found out, when it comes to dealing with family, there is always a problem of some sort that ends up with trickery in a negotiation or some form of trying to rip off the family member. When my Uncle passed away some years ago, he was more than gracious to me and left me all his belongings, including his house, land and vehicle. He asked me to let my mom have the car, of which I did and he asked me to give some land to one of his nephews, of which I did. I had my own place to stay and decided to let my mom move in to the house that my uncle left me. It wasn’t too long after she moved in that my brother moved in with her.
To make a very long story short, after living in the house for quite a few years that my Uncle left me, I eventually had to have a talk with my mom about moving out of my house. Now I know that may sound awful, but for some unknown reason, my mom and brother literally destroyed the house that my uncle left me. I finally had to tell my brother that he could not live in my house anymore and told my mom that I would find her an assisted living place to stay at. My brother was not willing to help my mom while he was staying with her and that did not set well with me. Why, I do not know to this day. Anyway, I would go see my mom and she would say she was willing to go but never even tried to go. I gave her all the paperwork that she needed to fill out and the number that she needed to call to make the move.
This problem drug out for an entire year. My negotiating with her was headed nowhere. She refused to move, even in with me. She told me she was not moving. She was great at the trickery. She would tell me that she was calling the lady to find a place to move to and that she had the paperwork filled out. My negotiating with her had come to a standstill.
Finally, I had to tell my mom that I was going to get the paperwork and sit with her until she filled it out. I had to call the lady to find out about a place for her to stay. Sadly, the lady told me she did not have any place for her at the moment.
I remember leaving work one day and had made up my mind that I was going to get the cops to make her move. (I know that sounds horrible but I was trying to take care of her in the best possible way) I had prayed very hard and as I walked out of work to get in my car, the lady that I had been in touch with called me as I was getting in my car to tell me that she had a place for my mom to move to. How thankful to God I was for His grace and mercy. I went and told my mom that day and all the negotiating had paid off. She moved out of my house into the place that God had made for her.
Reflection
Often times, I have equated people with the problem instead of separating the problem from the people. As I read about the union worker that felt as if he was picked on but come to find out that he was one of the hard workers that was a major hitter in the game, I realized that sometimes when it feels like you are being picked on, your actually not. You are a key player in the game. The team depends on you and without you, they know they are in trouble.
I, personally, have felt that way at work sometimes. I recently asked one of my bosses, “Do you know what hard work gets you,” to which he replied, “What?” I told him, more hard work. I have felt like the union worker numerous times at work. “Campbell replies, “I pick Jones because he’s the best. I know I can trust him to keep things from fouling up in a group without its point person. I send him on replacement only when it’s a key person missing, otherwise I send Smith or someone else” (Fisher and Ury, 2011, p.19).
“In our recent work with organizations across various industries, we discovered something really interesting and somewhat unsettling: Highly talented employees who are not engaged were among those who had the highest turnover in each organization — on par with low talent, disengaged employees. In other words, when your best employees are not engaged, they are as likely to leave your organization as your employees who tend to have performance issues and are unhappy” (http://news.gallup.com/opinion/gallup/226025/talent-walks-why-best-employees-leaving.aspx)
“Truly talented people are rare. They are the most expensive to replace. They may take other high performers with them if they leave. They are the easiest to engage. And they are the quickest to leave if they are disengaged” (http://news.gallup.com/opinion/gallup/226025/talent-walks-why-best-employees-leaving.aspx).
Application
This book has been a huge eye opener for me. One of the main points that has stuck out to me and has stuck with me is the fact that you should separate the people from the problem. I spoke about it a few times in the 4-MAT review. I have been very guilty of keeping the problem and the people all in one box. I get so worked up on the problem and the person being all in one. From the reading, it has showed me that often times, the problem is not a direct take on the person. The person has a good meaning behind the problem. I know that sounds like an oxymoron but often is true.
I am going to try to separate the problem and the people at the work place or in everyday life. I have gained a lot of insight from this book and look forward to the other books we must read.
your essay in here…