Relationships today can occur at any age, especially in high school. Throughout these four years, one can undergo many divergent relationships, some good and some bad. Neuman(2013) noted previous relationships can abrupt different feelings and emotions one might not have experienced before. Berry(2016) states that sometimes unsure and depressed feelings can occur because of the type of relationship they are in. Unhealthy high school relationships that have many problems can lead to health issues, different states including mental, physical, and emotional, also trust issues, and its effect on later relationships in life. When in a toxic relationship, many tragic scenarios can happen, causing these emotions to bring about many issues in one’s life.
There are several factors that can affect a relationship including a major one, how controlling one is. Recently, for being in a relationship, i have been experiencing this factor. During april, we went on a florida trip for a chorus and band competition. Since I am in chorus, I never get to see the band kids and I wanted to hang out with them, but this did not go very well. Everytime I tried to hang out with other people my boyfriend would get mad. I was yelled at, threatened to be broken up with, and when I tried to hang out with him after he would just act immature. Being a teenager myself, I did not know what to do and I was extremely upset, but the problem is this was not the first time. Many teens, like myself, would probably believe it was just a normal fight, but I have realized that it is a common theme that continues to happen. This is one of the major reasons why teens are continued to be emotionally abused, which can eventually lead to physical.
This study is going to include research into the mental and physical aspects of unhealthy relationships during the teenage years of one’s life. I will also examine how this can affect their mental health and future relationships.
Should teens really be dating? This is a question seen throughout society. People every age are dating from middle school to marriage, but the highest peak of where this happens is high school. During this time, many teens believe they are in love, however this is not the case. Lust is what they desire. This desire is one of the main reasons why some parents believe teenagers should not be dating. Gyawali (2015) states that teenagers should focus on upcoming life changes like careers and college. Bohara (2015) believes they can have a relationship, but they must focus on more important things first like school. Rai (2015) agrees with Gyawali(2015) stating teenagers fall in love blindly and face consequences later. Teenagers have their whole high school years to figure out who they are, what they want to do, and how they want to live their life. Being caught up in a relationship is just too much stress sometimes because there are more important things to focus on, schoolwork, college plans, and careers. Others may disagree with these statements. Some adults believe it is a good way to learn from mistakes for later relationships in life. Even though it can be a hard time to get through, breaking up in a relationship when younger can allow the teenager to get an idea of what it is like for adults. Sweta (2015) believes if there are restrictions on the teenagers, they can be allowed to date. Because most teenagers are caught up in drugs, sexual intercourse, and fitting in, most parents lose track of what their kids are doing, which is why teenagers need more restrictions than they are given.
Dangers of toxic relationships that teens are unaware of. As teenagers become more involved in relationships, it has become harder to see the wrongs and rights of a relationship. Teens do not really comprehend when something is either a fight or bigger. They believe it is nothing and brush it off but the thing is that they do not realize that some things can turn into situations they fear. There are many cases that have happened because of toxic relationships. For example, Lauren Astley and Nathaniel Fujita were dating throughout high school, Smith (2013) states, the regular on again off again relationship until Lauren decided to break it off for good. After the breakup, Lauren did not really think about Nathaniel. She had plans for college and she wanted to meet new people, but Nathaniel took the breakup a completely different route. Nathaniel was going to college with a football scholarship, which he has been dreaming about since a little kid, but as soon as Lauren and him broke up he was devastated. He was not excited about the scholarship or college anymore and he could only focus on Lauren at this point. After graduation, Smith (2013) states that Lauren and her friends had a party to celebrate, where 150 students were invited including Nathaniel. Nathaniel was drunk and started to harass Lauren by trying to get her to dance and not letting her dance with anyone else. With Nathaniel drunk and mad, he started to destroy things and he even punched a pole that was holding up a tent. One month later, Nathaniel’s mom had seen Lauren while she was working and asked her if she had talked to Nathaniel. Later that night, everyone had plans to go out but Lauren went over to Nathaniel’s to check on him. Nathaniel had killed Lauren that night, as Smith (2013) states. “He takes her body out of the car and goes about 30 some odd feet into the water and tries to conceal her body in the vegetation in the water” (Smith 2013). Many people had learned from Laurens mistakes and people realized the signs to look out for. These signs include explosive temper, isolating you away from family and friends, possessive, mood swings, and physical abuse.
How social media affects one’s relationship. Although social media can be a great way to start relationships with new people, it can also be a way to ruin others. Through twitter, instagram, or facebook, social media is seen throughout today’s society. It is very easy to find ways to cheat on one’s significant other through direct message or texting and getting rid of these messages as well. Through a slide of a finger across the screen, it is that simple for your significant other to not see it. To this day and age, most people are on their phones in public, not experiencing any human contact at all. This is pushing everyone away from everybody because they are so focused on the latest updates and what is new in everyone’s lives, through a screen of course. With the rate this is going, there could be little to no human interactions, no relationships, and no friendships which Cohen (2017) indirectly states. Cohen (2017) also provides an example from her personal life, she has lost many friends due to social media. Overusing social media also creates barriers between your significant other. Today, teenagers are finding new ways to cheat on their partners. It is easy for others to send pictures of their nude body to another and ruin the other relationship they already have. Since one can get so caught up in instagram and facebook, they kinda forget everything around them, even their partner sometimes. This is one major factor why there are so many break ups these days. The other does not feel wanted since their partner is always on their phone, making the phone seem more important than them. Nowadays, social media drags us into this cycle where once you get attached, it is hard to stop. No wonder why parents have so many restrictions.
Different health issues that can arise. Being in a toxic relationship can make one focus on the relationship and not the side effects that occur. “Letting yourself go” as Macmillan (2013) states is one of these side effects. After a break up, it is very common for someone to eat more, sleep less, and overall be less productive. When eating more junk food, it can lead to organ problems including the clogging of arteries, heart failure, and emotional or mental thoughts about one’s weight. These thoughts can become suicidal because they are not happy with how they look. Along with eating, use of alcohol can multiply because it can make one forget of all the troubles in their life. This can cause an increase in blood pressure and heart issues. Macmillan (2013) found that the body releases stress like hormones, making one’s heart beat faster, that can later have a great effect on one’s blood pressure. With the idea of letting yourself go in mind, depression and anxiety can also take over the life of one just out of a relationship. Macmillan (2013) renders an example that states people that are in a marital relationship are less likely to be depressed than someone who is not in one. Cano, A, and K D O’Leary (2000) conducted a study that proved women in unhealthy marriages or relationships are 6 times more likely to be diagnosed with depression episodes. These studies prove to be accurate due to many factors that are ruining relationships today including social media, previous relationships, etc. People who have experienced past relationship tend to be more bitter and cruel says Neuman (2013). This can lead to isolation and depression for the other partner, making them feel not wanted or needed.
How to end the toxic relationship. It is hard to end a relationship that one has grown fond of, if even it’s toxic but sometimes it is better off. Some ways to find out are if one finds their partner or them often angry, thoughts on ending the relationship, making accusations, or behaving with intolerable actions. Griffith (2013) states that even though their partners show these behaviors, they still stay with them. But for those ending theirs, the key points one should focus on should be committing to the decision, Griffith (2013). If one decides when they are going to break up and stick with it, it will be an easier process instead of dragging it out. Since dragging it out makes it harder, state what needs to be said and tell them straightforward. Griffith (2013) also states to not be friends afterwards. This will make it harder to get over for either your partner or you. Letting them go will be the easiest way to cope with it and maybe do something better for your being. Doing this, can keep your mind off of the hardships and maintain a good lifestyle. And finally, Griffith (2013) provides the best factor yet, do not feel sorry for what you have done or how your partner is feeling. Being sympathetic towards the other will make you stay on longer, living through the nightmare still.
How previous relationships affect later ones. One kind of relationship that has a huge impact on one’s life is during their childhood. This is the part in one’s life where their parents could or could not be in their life. Neuman (2013) states that someone who is loved by their family is proved to be less bitter than someone who was sort of rejected from their family as a child. With a bad childhood relationship, this can lead to many difficulties later in life like trust issues, isolation, and lack of confiding. As time goes on, relationships can get harder to approach from childhood mistakes and through other dating ones as well. Some factors that can make it harder are lying, unfaithfulness, and some people may use others for their own pleasure Neuman (2013) states. Neuman (2013) declares love as a routine and may be why people leave which can cause unhappiness and maybe bringing back memories from their childhood.
In today’s society, relationships are seen throughout from social media to couples walking down the street, but sometimes they are not as transparent as they seem. Teens are unaware of the actual harm that can occur in relationships, so they need to become more proactive to skeptical situations. These situations can cause stress and anxiety, along with many other health factors. When in an unhealthy relationship, one can undergo issues not just in the relationship but within themselves.