Mr. Hagen, Mrs. Noe, Mr. Jozokus, Staff of Bedford High School, members of the board of education, family and friends of the graduates, ladies and gentlemen of the Bedford High School Class of 2018, for the privilege of speaking to you this afternoon, I am honored and grateful. Thank you.
On this wonderfully hot day when we are gathered together to celebrate your academic success, I have decided to talk to you about failure. And as you stand on the cusp of what adults call ‘real life’, I want remind you of the crucial importance of imagination and openness.
Now, what's it like in the real world? Well, I’ve heard the food is better, but beyond that, its Yelp review is pretty bad. In real life, you will no longer get those soccer participation trophies your mom still has stashed away, because if everyone gets a trophy, trophies become meaningless. Here in Bedford, we call all agree there is an unspoken but not so subtle Darwinian competition with one another. As a consequence, we have come to see the ‘reward’ as the point of everything we do causing us to compromise our standards, or ignore reality, if it’s the quickest way to have something to put on the mantelpiece, pose with, or post on our Instagram. Playing the game has lost its fun, winning or losing is almost irrelevant, forget evening learning or enjoying it, now we have become people who only say “So what does this get me?”. This only cheapens worthy endeavors. Bedford High School is one of the best schools, and that might look really good on your resume, but I hope you caught me when I said “one of the best.” I said “one of the best” so we can feel better about ourselves, and count ourselves among the elite, whoever they might be, and enjoy a perceived leg up on the perceived competition. But the phrase defies logic. By definition there can be only one best. You’re it or you’re not. Therefore, failure is inevitable. You are the only competition that matters and although you may not be the best, you are you and that is unique. There is no one like you, so relearn how to play this game called life. You will never have more energy or enthusiasm, hair, or brain cells than you have today, just ask your folks. Play hard and fail harder, but don’t forget to get back up.
Now the imagination and openness piece: I think we all have one or two embarrassing childhood stories, I know my friends have quite a few involving really questionable sunburns. Or for me, mine happens to be when I was six, and made up a game which involved throwing rocks at people with the intention of another person swinging a bat to hit the rock away. I can tell you right now, as I’m sure you guessed, it didn’t end well for my best friend’s lip (sorry again Kelly). Around every corner there is a story waiting to be told, and there are people who are dying to hear it. You just need to imagine it and actually write it. You need to open your mind to see that the stories of others are just as complicated as yours. You may think you are the center of the universe, and I mean, are you wrong? Every experience you have had up to this moment revolved around you, you have been the center of every , family drama, or Red Sox win. Everything you see is from your perspective. But reality called, and you are not the center of the universe, otherwise there would be 7.5 billion centers and I don’t think it works like that. Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open, so jump off the airplane and know that the only way to truly survive and enjoy the view is to open to the possibility that other people are just as real as you, and just as right.
First, there are times when you are going to do well, and times when you're going to fail. But neither the doing well, nor the failure is the measure of success. The measure of success is what you think about what you've done. In fact I think our parents have said this a bit differently to us all our lives: The way to be happy isto like yourself and the way to like yourself is to do only things that make you proud. You probably just mocked them in your head, but be nice to your parents, because your time with them is limited, you never know when it will be over. you might never fail massively and unless you lived so cautiously, which causes you fail by default, you will fail. We need to be as fearless and committed as those we tell stories and talk about, and live up to our own potential. Don’t do something to look good on paper, or to make others happy, do it because y ou want it, because it is essential to who you really are. Success has nothing to do with fame or money or happiness. It has to do with fear. Fear, it sharpens you, it challenges you, it makes you stronger; and when you run away from fear, you also run away from the opportunity to be your best possible self. Life will look you in the eye and sometimes throw a rock at your face. At that moment, all of your knowledge won't matter. Not even knowing that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell will save you, all that will matter is how badly you need to move and how much you are afraid of being hit. life will hit you hard and getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way you learn how much your lungs like air. There is going to come a time in your life when in order to succeed you will have to trust, when you will have to take big leap of faith, and when that time comes I hope you will swallow your fear.
Second, whatever strong belief you now hold about what it means to be successful, I hope you will stay open to the possibility that you’ve got it all wrong and graciously accept your new awareness when it comes, with gratitude and humility. Your dream at six was different than your dream now and what your dream will be when you’re 32 or 72. And that’s okay, you are constantly evolving. There is a version of my life that is greater than the dream I have right now. I wanted to be a singer at six, now I'm majoring in physiology and neurobiology. Maybe in 30 years I’ll be an English professor, who knows? Come to understand that people with their differences can also be right, even if their way seems unusual or even as dangerous as throwing a rock. The people around you are still learning, and their experiences will be uniquely different. Accept that, and be proud of everything you have accomplished.
And third, my dear friends, I hope you'll always be like six year old me and only do things that make you proud so that you can have a story to tell 12 years later. I know your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing right now. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money. Do not lose your imagination, imagine the possibilities and the possible roads you can take. But because we are human, once you take one path you can never go back to that very spot: Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else's path unless you’re lost in the woods here in New Hampshire and you see a path then by all means you should follow that. So choose wisely but enjoy the consequences and opportunities you will have.
Yolo my friends- You only live once so climb the mountain not to plant your flag, but to embrace the challenge, enjoy the air and behold the view. Climb it so you can see the world, not so the world can see you. Go to Paris to be in Paris, not to cross it off your bucket list and congratulate yourself for being Pinterest-worthy. Exercise free will and creativity, and independence, though not for the belief that they will get you into Harvard for your graduate degree, but for the good they will do others, the rest of the 7.5 billion–and those who will come after them. The only moral a story should have is that selfishness is possibly the best thing you can do for yourself.
Do not lose your imagination and remember that the sweetest joys in life will come with the recognition that you will fail, but that you have and will succeed even if it isn’t in the way you might imagine it now. Be open and imagine the possibilities, be you, and I hope that you will take the time to improve the world around you. I hope you enjoyed my speech and if you did not, I hope you had a good nap. Thank you.