Admonishment Defined – “1 a : to indicate duties or obligations to; b : to express warning or disapproval to especially in a gentle, earnest, or solicitous manner [were admonished for being late] 2 : to give friendly earnest advice or encouragement [to admonished them to be careful… users are admonished to change passwords regularly … —Mark Pothier] 3 : to say (something) as advice or a warning [The sign admonished, "Watch your step."]
How many of us LIKE to be admonished? Most, if not all would say “NO!” If you have been stopped by a police officer, you were most likely being ADMONISHED for either speeding or not wearing your seatbelt or running a red right. Did we like such admonishment? Again, most if NOT all would say “ABSOLUTELY NOT”. Even if the police officer was very kind and courteous, our reaction of being stopped and admonished is viewed NEGATIVELY!
There are some who don’t like to be admonished, but have NO problem admonishing others! (This group are usually the ones who abuse and more likely just pointing fingers to make themselves look better in comparison or contrast to others). ***Possible Peanuts/Lucy Illustration***
Then there are those who don’t like to be admonished and don’t have any desire to admonish others because they don’t want a confrontation.
The scriptures are FULL of ADMONITIONS which goes to show of the importance and necessity of being admonished and admonishing one another.
Colossians 3:12-17 – “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. 15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. 17 And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”
1 Thessalonians 5:11-13 – “Therefore comfort each other and [b]edify one another, just as you also are doing. 12 And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and [c]admonish you, 13 and to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake. Be at peace among yourselves.”
2 Thessalonians 3:11-16 – “For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies. 12 Now those who are such we command and exhort through our Lord Jesus Christ that they work in quietness and eat their own bread. 13 But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good. 14 And if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. 15 Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother. 16 Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace always in every way. The Lord be with you all.”
Titus 2:3-5 – “the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— 4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”
Ephesians 6:4 – “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”
Although we look at these scriptures and agree that “admonishment” is obviously necessary, the problem that exists is that we are resistant to admonition and although we may be right to admonish another, we don’t do it in the right way and cause more damage than good! Admonishment can be very beneficial if done correctly the way God says to do it.
So, in this lesson, we will consider “Admonishment: A How To on Giving & Receiving Admonishment”.
I. How To – Give Admonishment
As we noted in the definition of the word “admonishment”, it is about the desire of correcting those who are doing things that are destructive to themselves and even to others.
Spiritually, we must remember that we are responsible to give admonition that stems from a heart that LOVES the person. If you noticed in Colossians 3, Paul mentioned several qualities of the disciple and that is “put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. 14 But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.” We are to “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).
Look at what Paul said to the disciples of Christ at Rome in Romans 15:14 – “Now I myself am confident concerning you, my brethren, that you also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another.”
Paul had just finished a dissertation on the idol-meat issue, which was a conflict-ridden and problematic issue for the church in Rome. Having addressed the divisive issue, he points out that such is destructive to the oneness of the body of Christ as believers. Paul is teaching them as well as us that when one member of the body suffers, the whole body suffers.
But I want us to notice what Paul says about the brethren at Rome. He says that they have an ability to admonish one another because:
a. They “are full of goodness.”
Paul says that they can be effective and beneficial because their motive for admonishing others is from a heart that is characterized as full of GOODNESS!
The Greek word “goodness” that is also found in the fruit of the spirit in Galatians 5:22 is “agathós” which means – inherently (intrinsically) good; as to the believer, describing what originates from God and is empowered by Him in their life, through faith. What a wonderful commendation Paul gave them! Would Paul commend us in such a way?
Paul goes on to say that the Roman brethren had the ability to admonish because:
b. They are “filled with all knowledge.” Paul stated in Colossians 3:16 that the word of Christ is to be dwelling in us richly. With such we will be able to admonish with all wisdom! I am NOT at liberty to throw out my personal opinions on any given issue, rather it must be based upon a good grasp of the word of God.
There are police officers who have stopped people to admonish them for things that they were doing that was NOT a violation of law. They did not have a good grasp on the law. We as Christians need to be careful that the admonishment we give is based on God’s Holy & Divine Will & His Higher & Nobler Ways.
II. Let’s talk about APPROACH in how we admonish another.
I have heard once said that when it comes to communication, people tend to get 7 % from the words we use. This includes the choice of words. 39 % from the tone of our voices. This includes the change in pitch, volume and speed. 54 % from the body language that we use.
When we were corrected by our parents, we usually could tell a WHOLE LOT of what was coming by how they walked into the room and the expression on their faces. We must be careful in how we approach others in our admonition towards them. Otherwise, we will find ourselves in sin.
There’s an adage that says, “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much care.”
There’s A LOT to giving admonition than what we think. It is more than the “divide and conquer” mentality. It begins with examining yourself. If my reason is only to embarrass someone, or to prove that I’m right and their wrong… then I’m on some dangerous grounds. It has always intrigued me of those who LONG to correct others, yet in the background are sowing discord among the brethren to cause more issues. Such would be a “busybody” whose approach is NOT being done with the right spirit, the right motive, using God’s approved method. This would go to what Jesus would say in Matthew 7:3-5. We must be careful on our MOTIVE and our ATTITUDE.
a. Before approaching another to admonish, we need to approach the Lord in prayer.
One of the issues that is seen more times than none is that people react rather than respond. There is a huge difference between reacting and responding. A reaction is typically quick, without much thought, tense and aggressive. A response is thought out, calm and non-threatening. A reaction typically provokes more reactions – perpetuating a long line of hatefulness with nothing accomplished.
Rather than admonition that is IMPULSIVE, we need to seek God to prepare our hearts that we are admonishing another from a heart that is from a good heart, the right demeanor, with wisdom from the word of God.
Look at what Paul said to the Corinthian brethren in 1 Corinthians 4:14 – “I write not these things to shame you, but to admonish you as my beloved children.” It is obvious that Paul wanted them to understand of his pure and loving motive to help them. Prior to going on to chapter 5 when Paul addresses the immorality that was defiling the church at Corinth, notice what he says in verse 21 of chapter 4: “What will ye? shall I come unto you with a rod, or in love and a spirit of gentleness?”
b. Don’t forget the AIM OF ADMONITION!
We can NOT forget what the aim of admonition is… and that is what Paul even told the Colossian brethren in Colossians 1:27-29: “to whom God was pleased to make known what is the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory: 28 whom we proclaim, admonishing every man and teaching every man in all wisdom, that we may present every man perfect in Christ; 29 whereunto I labor also, striving according to his working, which worketh in me mightily.” – Our aim should be that they correct that which is lacking so they can grow in Christ.
Keep in mind that we want to make certain that while we are helping another, that we do it with the right spirit, the right motive, using God’s approved method, so we don’t find ourselves being a stumbling block rather than a stepping stone. For God will judge us accordingly as well. Galatians 6:1-5.
c. Another important aspect of giving admonition is doing so privately face-to-face.
I mentioned earlier how communication is broken down from the words themselves, to tone of voice, to body language. There’s A LOT that can be “lost in translation” through conversing over the phone, whether voice/texting.
Why do you think Investigators REALLY want to meet with someone in PERSON to discuss the case rather than over the phone? We want that which is being communicated to be precise.
d. (Choose your words carefully) – I would also add that our words need to be chosen carefully. Colossians 4:6 – “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer each one.” We should be able to speak with one another without quip, slanted, judgmental words full of sarcasm. We should NEVER make the mistake that our words were JUSTIFIED by comparing their fault(s) to be larger than our mere spiteful words. Matthew 12:35-37.
e. Don’t be like Lucy. She wasn’t much help, was she? Christians tend to be like Lucy… harsh, yet no helpful words to encourage them for change. It helps if we all realize that we are ALL sinners. We need to show EMPATHY! Show Gentleness! Consider Galatians 6:1 again.
Concluding Thoughts:
We ALL need this lesson, just as much as we need the lesson of HOW TO RECEIVE ADMONISHMENT, which is the lesson for this evening’s service, so please be sure to come and endeavor in that study.
I love to remind everyone who listens to my sermons that this was meant for me first before it goes to anyone else. I ask you to look at your heart and inspect it. Does it really have the love of God abiding within? Is it rooted with all goodness and growing in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
My lessons are presented with LOVE, HUMILITY, MEEKNESS as it is my desire that we allow the admonition of God’s word to transform us for us to grow and mature.
If we learn the proper balance of giving encouragement as well as giving admonition in the proper way, we will see a stronger and closer relationship with the Lord and with each other.
If you are subject to the invitation call, come as we stand and as we sing…