All across the globe, parents follow different parenting approaches. Each parenting style may affect children differently. It's important to ensure that the parenting style chosen supports healthy growth and development in children because the way you interact with your child and how you discipline them influences on who they become. As stated by Gestwicki (2016), there are four different types of parenting styles. The four styles are: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. Each style takes a different approach to raising children, and can be identified by a number of different characteristics (p.71-72).
As stated by Gestwicki (2016), authoritarian parents are viewed as disciplinarians. This particular style involves parents having high expectations, with limited flexibility. Additionally, parents use a strict discipline style with little negotiation. Authoritative parents are reasonable, nurturing, and set high and clear expectations. Children with parents who demonstrate this style tend to be self-disciplined and think for themselves. This style is thought to be most beneficial to children. Permissive parents are known to let their children do what they want, and offer limited guidance or direction. Lastly, uninvolved parents give children a lot of freedom and generally stay out of their way (p.71-72).
Throughout the years, my parents followed two particular parenting approaches. They followed the authoritative and the authoritarian parenting approaches. During my elementary school years, my parents constantly supported me and were nurturing. At times, it may have been difficult since I was diagnosed with Epilepsy at a young age but my parents were consistent, they set clear limits and reinforced positive behaviors. When it was time to do my homework, my mother and father would sit with me and be my support system. They would work together and explain everything to me step by step and encourage me until I learnt and understood the lesson. When it came to sports, my parents encouraged me to play multiple sports and constantly encouraged healthy living. They taught me the importance of following positive nutritional guidelines and being active. I recall practicing for my karate tournament, and my parents helped me strategize, search for information on the internet, and provide me with a well-balanced diet that was crucial for my physical fitness. Additionally, my parents took the time to communicate with my coach and understand my strengths and weaknesses.
( Sentence to flow into second paragraph ) When I was younger, I recall being at family functions and my parents did not allow me to run around with the other children, especially during dinner time. I was told to sit next to them and stay with the adults. When asked why I was not allowed to join the other children, my parents would respond: “Because I said so”. As a child, I constantly had to follow the rules and there were no negotiations. Children with authoritarian parents barely get a say or vote when it comes to setting rules or making decisions. I did not like it but I made the best of the situation. When we finished supper, I was then allowed to go play. I now understand why my parents did not allow me to play as I was to wait for my meal yet at the time I did not understand the reasoning nor was it explained to me. This would make me upset but I never went against my parents. Additionally, as a child I was extremely picky when it came to food. Yet, my parents never gave me a choice and forced me to eat everything on my dish, regardless if I liked the food or not.
As I got into my teen years and became rebellious, my parents still followed the authoritative approach. In high school, I constantly lost focus on my studies and got distracted by my social life. Due to this, I performed poorly in school. Both of my parents took the time to speak with me about my actions but there was no change in my behavior. Afterwards, they reprimanded me for my lack of effort and they spoke to me about my attitude. With time, I recognized the behaviors they were referring to and mended my ways. My parents acknowledged that I recognized my mistakes and praised me for it. It was at this point when my parents changed their ways and were more authoritative rather than authoritarian. Additionally, when I would ask my parents to go out, they never stopped me. Instead, they would ask questions as to where I was going, with whom I was going with and when I intended to be back. What I understood from these parenting techniques is that when I was young, they made sure I was following the rules and as I proved that my actions were in line with their expectations, they allowed me to make my own decisions yet I had to share with them what I was doing and what I was up to.
Looking back at the parenting approaches my parents used, and how I felt in view of their style, I believe that in the future, I would use the authoritative approach. Authoritative parents set clear rules and boundaries, they explain the logic and reasoning behind rules and they are willing to listen to the children’s feedback and questions. Additionally, authoritative parents often include their children in creating rules, and try to focus on positive reinforcement when expectations are met. Furthermore, authoritative parents are high on warmth, are empathetic and nurturing. Overall, as a future parent, I would like to have a positive relationship with my children and allow them to have a voice in the choices that are made. I do not want them to wonder why their parent has made such a decision. I want to them to grow up understanding why a decision is taken and that we work together as a family. I want them to understand the value of family, and have a clear understanding that we work as a team and have open communication.
Families all across the world, follow different parenting approaches. These parenting approaches vary widely depending on where you live. Every country tends to follow a particular approach. Every culture is characterized and different from other cultures. These cultures differ by widely acknowledged ideas about how individuals need to think, feel, and act as a member of that particular culture. As stated by Bornstein (2012), different cultural groups possess different beliefs, values and engage in a variety of different behaviors. In some cultures, certain behavior’s may be normative, yet in other cultures, these behaviors are not necessarily normative.
I grew up in an Italian family and I believe culture plays an important role in the parenting approaches my parents followed. As stated above, my parents followed the authoritarian and authoritative approaches. Italians believe it is important that children express and demonstrate politeness through respect for elders. Additionally, adults emphasize that children and young adults have the opportunity to socialize with individuals of all ages. Furthermore, children need to consult with an elder when making decisions. In comparison, I spoke with a colleague whose of Chinese descent. My colleague informed me that in her culture and from what she’s experienced growing up, her parents follow the authoritarian approach. As she grew older, her parents continuously reminded her of her obligations to her family. Additionally, she was required to achieve high grades throughout her educational years. If she did not achieve a good enough grade, she would be reprimanded. Furthermore, she informed me that her parents weren’t as warm and nurturing, and children were not allowed to communicate with the adults during suppers or family gatherings. When comparing both cultures, it is clear that cultures all around world differ and they each follow different parenting approaches. Additionally, every culture has their own cultural beliefs and values, and it is important to respect these differences.
( Sentence to flow )The impact teachers have on their students extends far beyond the classroom. More often than not, teacher's chose their profession not solely to teach content, rather, they chose to teach in hopes of making a difference in the lives of their students. That idea sits as the foundation to my beliefs and is the primary reason I want to become a teacher and work with children. As a future teacher, my personal goal of mine for my classroom to-be would be to challenge students in finding their own qualities, interests and watching them grow to their full potential. The parenting approach I stated I will use with my children, I will incorporate it in the classroom too. According to Bandura (2016), children learn through observations, imitation, and modeling (McLeod). Children learn by observing and understanding the world around them. As a teacher, I want to be a positive role model for each student and build a positive and effective relationship with the students and their families. Additionally, I want to work in conjunction with the student’s families and build positive relationships with each family and work together to better the child.
After observing the nursery, the educators in the classroom spend a majority of their day with the children. These educators work alongside the children’s families and they’ve built strong relationships with one another. They continuously communicate with each family and respect the families’ values and beliefs. Additionally, in a previous course, I observed the nursery. The educators provided the class with information on the nursery and informed the class that the educators encourage each child’s cultural background. When it’s a child’s birthday, they sing happy birthday in the child’s native language. By singing in the child native language, children learn the importance of culture through observing their educator.
An experience that influences me in being an authoritative teacher was my difficulty in learning. When I was younger, I had difficulty grasping concepts and understanding the lessons in the classroom, due to my medical condition. Throughout grade school, countless teachers had difficulty providing me with the help that I needed, and they never took my medical condition into consideration. I recall teachers not providing me with sufficient time to complete my work. Additionally, they would not alter the activities to fit my needs and I believe it affected my learning at the time as I struggled in grade school. Because of my personal experiences, I understand that no student deserves to be disregarded, and teachers need to create diverse activities that fit the needs of each child in the classroom. Teachers need to be warm and build positive relationships with their students. They need to set clear limits and provide students with the help they require and deserve in order for them to reach their potential. This also promotes positive self-esteem in children.
This experience has inspired me to become a teacher; a teacher that will ensure that all children have a right to learn, learn at their pace and meeting their needs.
References:
Bornstein, M. H. (2012, January 01). Cultural Approaches to Parenting. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3433059/
Gestwicki, C. (2016). Home, school, and community relations: A guide to working with families. 9th Edition. NY: Delmar Learning.
McLeod, S. (2016). Bandura – Social Learning Theory. Retrieved January 25, 2018, from https://www.simplypsychology.org/bandura.html