When I started thinking about this myself, I didn’t understand it. Because of our society we get a perfect image of how somebody should look. Actually, everyone should be like that image.
Most people like to see a perfect skin, a beautiful smile and maybe most important; a perfect body. When you search on the internet; What is beauty? The answer is; when someone is feeling good and shines from the inside. But why does Photoshop still exist for models then? And why do we edit our pictures which we post on Instagram, or other apps? I get why the character of somebody is very important as well, but why do people still get bullied because of their pimples or fatness? Because these people don’t have the perfect image which we all want to see.
Being beautiful has changed a lot through time, because in the Middle Ages it was pretty to be a bit fatter. Being fat showed that you had the money to buy food and you looked wealthy with a high status. Now people go to the gym and work out because they want that flat stomach. In China, people really want to stay white, so they stay out of the sun, but we all like a bit of a colour. To get that colour, we use too dark make-up or we go to the tanning bed. So the word pretty has different meanings throughout the world.
The word ‘ugly’ has the etymology; very unattractive or unpleasant to look at; offensive to the sense of beauty; displeasing in appearance. So if someone thinks he or she is ugly, they are starting to believe that people also see them that way and they are a displeasing appearance, which can lead to that people don’t want to go outside anymore and that can lead to depression.
The word ‘beautiful’ has the etymology; having beauty; possessing qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind. So when someone or something is pretty, it gives pleasure or satisfaction to someone else. This may sound really basic but I really believe in it; everyone has their own type of beauty and everyone is beautiful.
‘Your skin isn’t paper, don’t cut it. Your face isn’t a mask, don’t cover it. Your size isn’t a book, don’t judge it. Your life isn’t a film, don’t end it. You are beautiful.’
Most people aren’t completely satisfied with their appearance, because their expectations are way too high. When you don’t want to look in the mirror anymore, there are actually 3 solutions;
‘ Don’t look in the mirror (but you shouldn’t walk away from your problems’)
‘ Buy another mirror (it won’t solve your problems)
‘ Change your way of looking
The last one is the most helpful one. When you stop saying; ‘I’m so ugly, I’m a fool.’ And start saying; ‘I’m pretty, I’m a good person.’ Your attitude towards yourself will change a lot. I know this sounds really silly but; When you accept the way you look, you’ll love yourself way more.
Of course we all know plastic surgery, that’s a way to change your appearance by using for example fillers or surgery. Because of that ‘perfect image’, which we all want, people with a large nose, want a smaller nose. People with small eyes, want bigger eyes. Plastic surgery is very expensive, a nose job only is around 3500 euros. So people also pay a lot to be like that perfect image.
When people (mostly younger people who become very insecure because of their puberty) start to think about how perfect people on the internet are, and start looking at their selves, they can be very unhappy. Because everyone on the internet can change everything about themselves, people start to believe that some people really never have a beauty struggle. For example the picture on the left. This woman isn’t the skinniest, she doesn’t have the tan which we all want. But on the right, you can see a woman with a perfect body, perfect skin. Which all comes because of the perfect image. We can create the perfect image easily by the use of apps which can change you face and body. So most of the pictures of models are changed into perfect ones.
‘Perfection is achieved not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.’ Antoine de Saint-Exupery
I know that being perfect or being pretty has also something to do with your own taste, but we all have the same average idea of what’s nice and what’s not. So in the quote they’re talking about when someone doesn’t have any flaws left, you’re perfect. The opinion you have about yourself, is for a big part based on the opinions of the people around you. When people tell you that you’re pretty, you start believing it yourself.
There are also some philosophers who talk about ‘being pretty’, for example Bas Haring. His mom talks about his sister wanting earrings, but she told her that her body would never be the same as it was before. She thinks that you should keep your body the way it was given. Bas thinks that there isn’t a perfect body, he has a tattoo and he doesn’t know if it made him uglier or prettier’ He tells that people don’t want to have an outstanding body. We all want to be the same. You can be a bit extra, but still in the borders of being normal.
We all think that pretty persons in cartoons and films are good, and ugly persons or cartoons are bad. Bas talks about the cartoon Batman. Batman is a pretty handsome guy, but his enemy Two-Faced is an ugly ‘monster’. It is true that people who are fatter, won’t have a job easily. According to Olympia Employment Agency, thick or unhealthy applicants are rejected more than people who look better, even though they have the same CV.
So to answer the question; How can we recognise the difference between being pretty and ugly? Well, it has a lot to do with the image we get of the society, how our face and our body should look, but it has also to do with your opinion about what beautiful is.
‘Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.’