According to Goldie Hawn (2019), “It is not the question, what am I going to be when I grow up; you should ask the question, who am I going to be when I grow up” (Goldie Hawn Quotes, 2019). Unfortunately, young adults have trouble understanding their identity. Sadly, young adults have difficulties with this topic, because of the society we live in, which gives each male and female set gender norms of who they should become in life; which creates a lack of authenticity in each individual and gender norm perpetuate gender-specific behaviors that do more harm rather than good, due to the expectations of society. These gender norms have been developed in our culture for centuries and linger today. Even though we cannot change what the past has set upon individuals, the path of liberation begins with tackling these gender norms, so both men and women can find themselves and have the confidence to answer the question “Who are you”?
For many years men have dominated over women because our humanity has established that men are inferior to women in the workforce, household, and society. Young women in our culture are typically taught to be nurturing and wholesome their entire life until they have become the “perfect woman for a man”. However, young men in our generation are not as strictly coached like young ladies. The main goal for men is to become the breadwinner and leader of their families and other aspects of life. As a result, young women in our generation are taught their identity, whereas young women are allowed to create their identity. Therefore, young men would define self as the accomplishments they have completed throughout life, and the amount of money they earn. Men define self this way in order to get the approval of their peers and the acceptance of society. Yet, based on the standards’ society has established for women, we are taught that our identity is dependent on men. Also, when women get involved with a man, we are expected to make life choices based around them and aim to be successful, but not more successful than the man, because that is considered “embarrassing” and “threatening,” because the woman would be considered in power.
According to Oliver Sacks (1985), we define our self through a narrative about our life (Paragraph 7). However, I disagree, because gender norms are not allowing women to create their own personal narrative. A personal narrative is like a story about the life of an individual. These stories help one throughout life because it consistently reminds the upbringing one has experienced. However, our society silences the voices of women to not be able to share their story and their authentic self. Unfortunately, women are supposed to be living their life revolved around a man. Therefore, because of gender norms, society does not want to hear when a woman is independent and successful. However, liberation is a process that women should stand for in order to get their narrative heard. Also, it is breaking women’s silence and giving women the opportunity to add to their story. Cissey White states (2017), “A free person tells her own story. A valued person lives in a society in which her story has a place” (Cissey White, 2017). I agree with this statement because if gender norms were treated equally, we are able to redefine the voice and values of women, which will become valuable to our society. For example, in 1848 the “Women Suffrage Movement” took place, giving women the right to have a voice. Also, this movement fought the right for women to have the same opportunities as men and be treated equally.
“A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction” (Oscar Wilde, 2010).
Men in our generation base their entire life on what they have accomplished in order to be accepted. Since society expects men to have a successful autobiography, I believe that can build cause pressure on a man, because their life has to be consistent and perfect to receive that acknowledgment from others. Whereas a woman in society has a constant burden of being dependent on their husbands, but strong for their children. Therefore, in order to have this misconception, we have to put a smile on our face and stay silent, because society does not want to hear the truth about women’s feelings. David Brooks compares résumé and eulogy virtues. Brooks describes résumé virtues as “the skills you bring to the marketplace” (Brooks, 2015, Page 1) and he would explain the idea of résumé virtue as individuals who base their life on what they have done, and the skills they have developed (Page 1). Society has given men the fallacy to build their résumé in order to have a successful life that can provide for their wives and children. However, résumé virtues are self-focused, because these virtues omit important ambiguity of growth and development of an individual.
I believe that résumé virtues are not as important as eulogy virtues. Eulogy virtues are used in “a funeral and it explains the type of person you truly were, based on your personality” (Brooks, 2015, Page 1). Women follow eulogy virtues because as children we are taught that once we become married, we have to become dependent on our husbands, so we can be a nurturer to our children, housekeeper which causes us to focus on our families rather than our personal goals. Women are required to follow these orthodox norms that society has established for a long period. Unfortunately, we live in a world where men have the freedom to creates résumé virtues, which allows men to freely express themselves without the judgments of society. Yet women are obliged to hide who they are to meet the requirements of society, however, women create eulogy virtues, because they have been taught to be compassionate, strong, and overall a great person. Eulogy virtues are important, because they build relationships, show your moral character, and highlights the growth throughout ones’ life. Therefore, even though men have the liberty to be open freely, all they rely on are résumé virtues, because they do not have a balance with their character and their accomplishments. However, women are set apart from men, because we have the most compelling virtue that describes our captivating characteristics and moments that we have encountered. Ultimately causing women to rise above men and not let the biases of gender norms victimize us, instead empower us.
2019-3-20-1553117795