Auto Ethnography
The United States welcomes everyone whoever wants to come here is the worldwide perception of the United States. When I came here for the first time, I felt that this is one of the best places to live in and I should learn and try to make India a better place than it is today. In the United States of America people are very friendly and helpful most of the times. But gradually I started to realize that the way a person is treated differs by the groups they belong to. Many times, I felt that I was unknown to the different ways of doing any particular task. I realized that in many situations I became an ‘other’ for expressing my opinions or taking part in the different tasks.
Whenever a person who belongs to a minority comes to a place full of the people belonging to the majority groups is treated and looked upon as per the stereotypes people have of the group. The people also get irritated because of the way people judge them because of the stereotypes. Coming from India I have been judged by some of my friends and teachers in some situations based upon the stereotypes they have in their minds about India. Many times, when they used to share with me the stereotypes they had heard. I told them that it was totally false and then they ought to know about the reality. One of such experiences I had was when it was the first week of my stay here and I was making new friends many of them used to say that I have much better English as they expected and they even used to ask me the reason for the same to which I used to tell them that English is the first language in schools so we have learned British English from childhood. Sometimes I used to think about the reason for them asking me about my English. Later I realized that they might have been relating me to the other international students from the other countries they meet. One more of such experiences was when I used to go for lunch or dinner with my friends and I didn’t used to eat beef or pork, all my friends used to think and question me about my choices being dependent on my religious beliefs but that was not the truth so I used to explain them that it’s my choice that I don’t eat beef or pork it has nothing to do with my religious beliefs. When I came here one of the issues I had was with the food University Housing and Dining provides to the students staying at dorms. When I started going to the dining halls I loved the food and I used to eat a lot. The food served in the dining hall was the type of food I used to eat when I used to go out for dinners in India. So, the thought of having that food to eat daily was really good for me. But after a month I started to had issues with the food. Mostly the food was grilled and I got allergic to it, whenever I used to eat any grilled food I used to get diarrhea. Many times, grilled food was served with gravies which made them unidentifiable so I used to have diarrhea again. Finally, I thought of dropping the meal plan but since the deadline had passed I was not allowed to do the same. University Housing and Dining also said that I can’t leave the meal plan without a reason. When I said that I have really less options since I didn’t used to eat beef, pork or Grilled food, they said that they can only allow me to leave the meal plan if I had any health issues. So, when I went to India for winter break and got diagnosed I found out that I had some allergies so I filled out a form for leaving the meal plan after coming here and gave it to University Housing & Dining. But for safety purpose they asked me to be on a smaller meal plan and even that didn’t work out properly. So, in the next semester I might leave the meal plan. It was really difficult for the nutritionist to relate to me since she was a non-vegetarian and she could eat anything so she was not able to relate with what I was going through.
I took some ESL courses and in one of them I was the only Indian student in the class and all the others were from China and so they had a similar accent which I didn’t have and whenever I used to get group projects it used to get very difficult to complete that. Since all of them were old friends they didn’t used to consider me as a proper member of the group. While living on-campus in my freshman year I had a roommate who didn’t used to accommodate any international students as his roommate. We were 3 international students in the room and he used to argue over every small issue with us and finally we had to request for a change in my room.
Any international student becomes ‘other’ in many ways one of which is the ways of communication. People of every society have their own slangs. And being from a totally different culture makes a person feel alienated when having regular conversations since in many situations we as international students are not able to understand what our friends try to say which may lead to miscommunication in some situations. Mostly people are really helpful here in The United States. One of the gesture I really like here is when a person opens a door he holds it for all the people with him even if he is unknown to them or they are unknown to him. This gesture is rarely followed in India. People open the door for everyone but they rarely hold it for everyone. When I came here even I had the same habit but when a person is new to a place he tries to observe everything going around him so that he can learn them. When I observed this gesture I really liked it and started practicing it. Now I have this good habit of holding the doors for others. There are a lot of such nice small things I have observed people doing here for others. When I went back to India for the winter break I told about this and a lot of them to the people I used to meet and they all appreciated it and tried to practice it in their daily lives.
The way ‘others’ are treated at workplaces are also very different. I would like to share my personal experience about this situation. Last year I started working at one of the university positions. Before taking up the job I had asked the supervisor about the type of work I will be required to do. But after I started working, I was requested to help in another job and since it was a request I agreed to do it. But gradually I was forced to do the same job again and again which I didn’t like. Even when I said that I don’t want to do it they used to force me to do the same, they never asked any other employee to do it instead of me. So finally, when I was fed up I went to my supervisor and told him about the issue, but then also he didn’t take any action. And so, I had to resign from the job. After resigning from the job, I realized that at some places and situations people get discriminated on the basis of their race which I didn’t ever feel before. At my workplace, all the employees were not American, but most of them were from the same place and so they became the part of majority and I was the other in the group.
India has a huge population but there is a scarcity of jobs. So, the number of jobless people is very high. And this in turns lowers the minimum wages a person earns for doing a job. Because of such job scarcity, domestic help is easily available in India. Almost every rich household in India has a Chauffer, a maid, a chef, and so on. Therefore, a kid who is born in such houses and grown up with such habits finds it difficult to do everything on his own. I am one of them. Coming to the United States of America for my Undergraduate Studies was the first time I left my home for staying out for so many months. When I first reached here, I had applied for an on-campus housing but I was late in doing so that’s why I got into an expanded housing. I had 6 roommates in my room. They all were American and they all were really friendly and awesome. They came after 3-4 days of my moving into the room. And since I was alone for the first time in my life I started feeling depressed but after they came it took very little time for me to become their friend. But while living with them I realized that they used to do all their works by themselves. Like cooking, washing clothes cleaning the room, all of them. So, I again became the other in the room since I was not able to do all the stuff properly since I was not habitual to it. But gradually I learnt by watching them do every work on their own. It took me some months but now I can easily manage all the work on my own.
From the time when I was a kid I always had a fascination about cars. In simple words ‘I love Driving’ and I become restless without driving. When I came here I got really fascinated when I saw so many awesome and powerful cars like Corvette which has a 6.2L V8 engine with Torque of 460@4600 and Mustang which has 5.2L V8 engine with Torque of 429@4750. I was totally restless to be behind their wheels but this was again an issue since I had an Indian Driver’s License. So, I thought of getting a Driver License here in Iowa City but for that I had to give a Computer Test for getting an instruction permit first and so I started for the same but I only got it after failing once. When I went to the DMV at 1st Avenue Iowa City I was awestruck to see such a clean government office which can be rarely seen in India. I realized that the government offices here are much better in a lot of aspect as compared to India. They are clean, they have proper instructions listed about getting a task accomplished. No one gets confused about what to do whenever a person reaches a government office. The offices have proper facilities for the visitors. In India, mostly the offices are overcrowded. People have to wait in long queues. In fact, they have to take leaves from their office get a work done at a government office. Even after waiting for so long many times the work doesn’t get accomplished. The offices there doesn’t have proper arrangements for the visitors who have to wait for long duration of time. Mostly the officials in the offices here are very kind to the people going for work but in India since the officials have to treat a lot of visitors everyday they get really very irritated towards the end of the day. Here when I went to the DMV I followed the procedure well but once when I got confused and asked an old man working there, he started yelling at me. I don’t know the reason why but he had got a panic attack maybe. I got frightened but when my turn came the guy working there comforted me by telling he acts weirdly sometimes.
Public places here in the United States are also much safer and cleaner. Mostly people are really kind towards each other. Even if a person doesn’t know other person then also they offer help to each other which makes a person who is new feel much safer. But that’s not the case in India. People there also help each other but they are not that safe or clean. When I came here Pokémon Go was on a boom. Everyone be it in India or the United States was mad over it. Even I used to like the game a lot. And my roommates also used to like it. They used to go for Pokémon Hunting at 10p.m. at night. But I used to get scared by the thought of walking at Downtown in dark. In that situation, I used to again become the ‘other’ since I used to be the only one of us seven roomies who used to stay back. I used to get shy in telling them the real reason for me staying back so I used to make different excuses. After a week or so I had no excuses left in my mind. So, everyone persuaded me to accompany them and so, I had to go. But when I went there for the first time I was mesmerized by the beauty of downtown at night. It was a wonderful experience. Gradually I started to go out for Pokémon hunting with my roommates every time they went out. When sometimes everyone was not available for going out, then only some of us used to go. Once only me and one of my roommate went out and while walking, we met another guy at downtown who was also there for Pokémon hunting and he became our friend. It took me some time to realize that it’s safe and after my realization I started enjoying the nightlife here at Iowa city.
Few months ago, there was a hate crime incident that took place in Austins Bar and Grill in Olathe, Kansas. The incident took place on February 22, 2017. Two Indian men, Srinivas Kuchibhotla and Alok Madasani went to the bar after a tiring day at work. A guy named Adam W. Purinton was also present there. He started verbally harassing them and passing foul comments on them. After they complained about him to the bar manager, he was thrown out. But in a short time span he came back to bar with a gun. He was raging and shit both the men. In the firing, Mr. Kuchibhotla was killed and Mr. Madasani was injured. Seeing such a situation in front Mr. Ian Grillot tried to intervene and stop Mr. Purinton from fleeing the scene but instead he also got shot and injured. After being hospitalized Mr. Madasani and Mr. Grillot recovered and got discharged from the hospital. After this horrifying incident, I got wholly scared and I didn’t used to get out of my dorms for anything except going for my classes. Even my parents were really frightened and they also asked me to go out on the streets only if I had any important work else try to be inside the dorms. Gradually the fear is getting lesser but then also its still present. All my friends who are international student here at The University of Iowa were going through the same phase. They also used to be scared to go out frequently. We got emails from the International Student & Scholar Services at UIOWA telling us not to get too scared. But the situations were such that we all used to be really scared.