The Time Traveler entered a coffee shop in a hurry. There were three of them, the usual. Alexander was drinking a mocha with whipped cream, trying hard to hold the hot cup and not look like an ass. He had wondered if he should have shaved. He was going after Jenn, you know, nodding at what she said. I asked, "What did you think of the book?" and all that, and I thought it was going pretty well. I probably should have shaved. I thought my leather coat was good, but just about then I was worrying she might be a vegetarian now, or hate leather or something. Jenn plays all smart like that.
So the Time Traveler had pushed the door open roughly, and she stepped into the noise and smell. She looked around the room, sort of frantic and maybe disappointed.
How did I know she was a time traveler? Probably something about how fourth-dimension travel lends a subtle dream-like quality to things and people, as if they are only available to our reality through a profound mistake. Whatever. She was kind of a hottie, thin but curvy with really great hair, and we were all pretty stoked when she rushed right over to our table.
"I only have a few minutes. Please, please listen to me."
Ted looked up and spoke first. "You're a time traveler," he said. "Yes, I've got just a few minutes and I need–". "I mean, seriously, you're a time traveler! That's fantastic!"
So, I guess we could all tell. She walked and spoke oddly, or she smelled wrong. She definitely had a funny smell. A bit like moldy plastic.
"Just listen, please peanut allergies are a virus. Autism is triggered by the plastic filaments in disposable diapers. The only way to reliably cure all cancer–"
"What do I do in the future?" Sarah shouted, running her words together. Her eyes were wide and she was holding her hands up, kind of like a mime. I think she was a bit freaked out, but then Sarah is always a bit freaked out. I used to go around with Sarah, you know, until I realized she can't cross the street by herself. I mean that in a metaphorical way. I mean, she could probably cross the street okay, really. But if someone I know was all sad because one of our friends had been hit while crossing the street, I would ask right away, "Was it Sarah?" because if you knew her you'd know that's exactly how she is.
"What?" The Time Traveler looked at Sarah, and then at all of us, even at me, as if she expected us to be taking notes or something, drinking her in like she was queen of the future. She might have been going to cry or get angry.
"Do we ever get superpowers?" Ted asked. (God, Ted is such an ass.)
"No, wait–who wins the World Series next year? Or, like, should I buy Apple stock, or has it had its run already?" That was Roger. Roger is less of an ass than Ted, but you can probably tell not by much. Roger had a mustache for a while, if that tells you anything.
The Time Traveler put her hands on our table all serious-like. "Cancer. Damn it. You can completely prevent it by maintaining a certain bacterial balance in everyone's intestines. Gravity isn't a particle or a wave, you've got to stop thinking of it like the rest of physics. Fusion reactors can work, but they're a waste of effort relative to–"
"Stop! I have to know–are aliens real?" Okay, I asked that one. It was like my brain was in some kind of fog, honestly. You wouldn't understand unless you've met a celebrity or a vampire or something. When you meet someone like that, you feel around and hunt for what to say, and nothing comes out, and then you just feel dumb and you think like mad until you can come up with something that isn't "Duh, I love your work. Would you sign my forehead please? Duh." I didn't want everyone else to have a go and not have said anything myself, you know? And Jenn stayed quiet through it all, as if watching all smart like. So that was my question, and it got a good laugh and some approving nods. I think Sarah said, "Yeah, are they?" And I swear it would have taken the Time Traveler like two seconds to answer it, but of course she didn't.
Instead she just looked more and more alarmed. She kept talking faster, like some auctioneer. She was sort of crying, and we all felt a little bad, except for Ted, who was oblivious as always. Stuff just tumbled from her lips. "You can double your life span by synthesizing fifth-sequence mitochondria. Don't try to cure AIDS, that only makes it worse–focus on prevention. When Tyrone Shore is born, get him into therapy immediately. The Coleman Agreement will cause a horrible war–"
"Hey, what are your clothes made of?" Ted asked. And I have to admit, I was kind of curious. I mean, they looked like some kind of densely woven plastic, like a linen maybe, but the drape was quite pleasing. All of a sudden, she was gone. It was like the room sort of folded and unfolded again, only she was the only part that didn't. I had a vague sensation of her passing through us, or through the whole Starbucks, or through everything. I'm not really sure. Felt a bit like throwing up, to be perfectly honest.
They were all quite impressed, though, especially by the last bit. Sarah and Ted both clapped. I thought that maybe Jenn would get all philosophical about life, like she does sometimes. That might improve my chances. You know, in a sort of "It's graduation, everything's changing, let's do it," kind of way. So we were all quite stoked, in different ways. Then we all went to Sam's Diner for pancakes. Did you know Sam's serves pancakes until midnight? I didn't know it either, but Roger really wanted pancakes and he has a way of sort of getting the group to do whatever he wants, and so we went to Sam's. I don't think they were very good pancakes, but then, what are you expecting at ten at night at a place like Sam's? I think the syrup was real, at least, and I might have gotten a bit of a sign from Jenn. We were snug in the booth, you know? And we brushed shoulders for a bit, like I might get in at some point. I think so, anyway. She plays all smart, but I bet I get in. Next week at the latest, or forget it. By the way, I don't really remember what the Time Traveler said. I just wanted to write all this down so I'd remember it, and I probably messed up the stuff about peanuts and cancer and all that. So don't get excited or anything. You can't trust what time travelers say, anyway. Who's future are they from? Not mine. After the Time Traveler had finished her mission with her three companions, she asked them if they would like to complete another one, but this mission was completely different from the rest. The three companions all turned and looked to each other without the Time Traveler having to say anything. Once they had all reached a decision, all three of them turned back around to tell the Time Traveler what their decision was. They had all agreed, but it had to be under one condition, they were supposed to choose where they wanted to complete the mission. Out of the three of them Alexander said that he wanted to go and see Cleopatra, the most famous Egyptian Queen all throughout history. He was so obsessed with her that he did excessive research on everything about her. The rest of the group didn’t really know much about her, and so Alexander gave them a little bit of background on who she was. He stated off by saying, “Born circa 69 B.C., Cleopatra VII was part of the Macedonian dynasty that took over rule of Egypt in the late 4th century B.C. During her reign, she forged political alliances and became romantically involved with Roman military leaders Julius Caesar and Mark Antony until her death in 30 B.C.†(BIOGRAPHY, 2018). The thought is: submerge yourself in the reasoning of a period, wear the dress, convictions and states of mind of the period, and do these things in a place that has continued as before since that period, and you will truly be there, and afterward. There was a clock in the machine somewhere that must be wounded up. The hands were spinning around the dial from ideal to left with incomprehensible speed. In this spin, we ourselves appeared to be conceived along. Endless time periods appeared to contract into minutes while lifetimes were thrown off at each tick. The two arms outstretched, was reeling in his seat. The time machine shook again under an enormous chime of thunder. At a similar moment a chunk of flame, leaving a wake of sulfurous vapor and filling the stay with stunning light, disregarded our heads and destroyed the clock. The hands stopped to spin. This had meant that they had arrived to their next destination and had to complete the next mission they were assigned. Everybody got out of the Time Machine to try and figure out where they were and what year they were in. Once they took a good look around, Sarah had figured it out faster than everyone else about where they were and shouted “I can’t believe this! I’ve been wanting to see Queen Elizabeth I of England and how she ruled, and I bet her life was pretty amazingâ€! After the shock of figuring out where they were, all three of them and the time traveler, started to walk around and try to figure out what they were there for. Queen Elizabeth I started walking towards the Time Traveler to talk to her about how she needed her help to try and save her kingdom from the people that are trying to destroy and take her down. Queen Elizabeth told the Time Traveler that she had a network of secret spies in her network but that didn’t really help because none of her spies were actually trying to figure out who was trying to take her down.
At first Elizabeth thought that the Time Traveler was one of her enemy’s because she had never seen anyone dressed in the attire that the Time Traveler was wearing so she tried to get her guards to throw her in the dungeon for conspiring against her and kill her but then when the Time Traveler explained that she was trying to help her with trying to figure out who wanted to try and kill her she thought about it for a while and retracted what she had said before about throwing her in the dungeon. After a while of the two meeting in private behind closed doors, Alexander and the rest of the crew waiting outside. A few minutes passed by and Sarah saw one of the guards acting out of the ordinary and barged into the meeting between the two and told them what she saw. As soon as she barged in, both of them stood up as quick as lightning. The Time Traveler looked straight at Alexander with a face of irritation and how he was being rude. As soon as he saw the Time Traveler, Alexander said “I know that I’m being rude but I saw one of the guards acting out of the ordinary, I think the Time Traveler should come outside and take a lookâ€. Right as he finished his sentence, all three of them busted through the castle doors to see that the very suspicious looking guard start to run away from them. Once they realized that he was starting to run away, they started to go after him. While running after the guard for quite a while, he turned the corner of the castle and all three of them turned right as he was but they were a bit behind, so once they turned the corner, the guard was gone. As they were turning around to go back, the Time Traveler decided to make a plan to capture the guard. Once they had a plan, they split up into different sections of the castle, one when to the East Wing, one to the West Wing, and the other to the South Wing. After splitting up and trying to look for the guard, Sarah saw him trying to climb down the castle walls to escape so she ran straight to the Time Traveler to tell her what she saw. The Time Traveler then sprinted down the hall and ran down the long, winding staircase in order to try and catch him. Once she reached the last few steps, she saw him and ran a bit faster so that she could catch up to him, after running for a while she finally caught him. Once she caught him, he gave an explanation that was so ridiculous that it made the Time Traveler laugh. The guard was taken to the dungeon and get locked up. Once they all caught him, they went back to Queen Elizabeth I and she thanked them for everything they did. When they went back home the Time Traveler dropped all of them off and all three of them never saw her again because she never returned.