They always say that where you grew up would paint a picture worth a thousand words for how your life is meant to go. Many people in many different walks of life just shoved into certain classes and households with no way to get out of them until they turn of age.
For Rosie, that was her.
She thought about this every day as she walked through the small corridors of her school, her eyes scanning down bent and beaten lockers as she rolled her eyes because why can’t her school afford lockers that actually shut.
She couldn’t express her hate and distaste for South General High School. The teachers couldn’t teach. The principal hated her. She had no friends. And this entire school could collapse and she wouldn’t bat an eyelash towards it. She had just one year to go and she would be able to walk away from here and never look back.
The bell rang. She should be in her classroom by now but she’s not. This class was just a study period for everyone anyway. Activity Period if you wanted to be technical. This was only a time for you to get help with any assignments that you were falling behind on. She wasn’t falling behind on anything. She didn’t see a point in falling behind the very system she wanted to get out of.
‘Miss. Howard!’
Rosie turned her head. Mr. Freed was standing in the doorway of his classroom, his bald head shining against the pale fluorescent lights. He was a teacher for seniors only, but for some unknown reason, he didn’t like Rosie.
‘Don’t you have somewhere you need to be?’
Rosie felt panic rise in her throat. The last thing she needed was to be written up for something as stupid as this and sent to the student mediator who would just yell at her for “standing in the hallways” instead of going to class.
‘I was heading to the bathroom.’ Rosie stated, rushing away, her feet picking up as fast as she could towards the opening at the end of the hallway where the bathrooms actually were.
‘I’ll be waiting for you right here with a signed pass when you’re done!’
Rosie threw her body onto the bathroom door and ran in, her feet carrying her to a cubicle where she closed the lid of the toilet seat and sat down. She couldn’t go back out there now. Her other class was in that hallway but she had thirty eight minutes to now kill before she even had to worry. Surely Mr. Freed wouldn’t send someone to the bathroom looking for her. She’d play sick. Pretend to vomit and maybe she’d be able to drive home.
She was nearly contemplating that anyway when the door opened and two laughing girls walked in. Rosie could see their legs line up at the sinks and mirrors as backpacks were thrown to the ground in heaps.
‘Did you hear about Rosie Howard?’
Rosie’s ears picked up on the mention of her name and she sat in complete and total silence.
‘What did she do now?’
The words faded out as Rosie tried her best to stop listening to whatever hateful words they were going to spew about her. There was more laughing and Rosie sat there, tears pricking at her eyes as she tried so hard not to make any noise.
This is why she hated this place. This was why she couldn’t wait to leave.
* * * * *
In some ways, Rosie could reflect about one thing in life she could be grateful for and that one thing would be her grandmother's house. It was a beautiful wooden cabin sat at on the bank of a river. It was far too big to be for just her grandma at her age so she and her mother moved in to help her.
She didn’t like being around her mother or grandmother. But she loved being here, sitting on the rocks with her feet dangling in the currents of the stream as she relaxed. Her phone was playing a mix of her favorites: Fleetwood Mac and Nirvana, and she was staring up at the sun and the blue sky.
She came out here to escape her mother mostly. Not that she was a bad person, she was trying her best, but because she had a new boyfriend and Rosie was sick of hearing them. She was sick of being shown another guy who she’ll have to pretend to like until her mother leaves him or he leaves her.
She needed a breather, a relaxing and calm serenity. The words from the girls in the bathroom were stuck in a loop in his mind. Their talking didn’t stop but rather continued until they got on the topic of who Rose would “chase after next”. She looked so pale coming out of the bathroom that Mr. Freed didn’t even bother her. She just texted her mom asking for her to call the school so she could go home and then she came home, only to be bombarded by her mother and Josh.
A twig came rushing by in the water and snagged her foot, causing her to jump and yank her toes from the water. She sat up and opened her eyes, the sunlight flooding into her vision. She blinked a few times before turning her music off and standing up, her wet feet and leaving marks on the grey rock. She stumbled off to the grass where her shoes were waiting for her.
She slipped on her sandals and headed towards the house. Josh’s truck was gone from the driveway and she could see her mother and grandmother arguing in the kitchen through the big picture windows. She almost didn’t want to go back inside.
She sat and waited unnoticed on the porch of the house until she couldn’t see the arguing anymore through the window, and then she walked by them as quickly as she could, not bothering to face them.
The drive to school the next morning was both peaceful but dreadful at the same time. Rosie didn’t want to go and face the same student body that hated her so much and she definitely didn’t want to have to go to class with Mr. Freed today.
She arrived at the school early, something she rarely did. And she just sat in her car until all of the other seniors walked in too. One by one, all of the trucks pulled in and backed up so they were in the back row, black smoke and the smell of rubber clouding the air.
One by one, all of his fellow classmates snaked their way out of their trucks and their mud-caked work boots hit the pavement. Each of them spit, almost as if it was in sync with the person on the other side of their trucks and then they all adjusted their camouflage sweatshirts and jackets and stomped towards the entrance.
Rosie definitely did not belong here. Not with her black skinny jeans, plaid shirts, and Vans. She didn’t belong in a mix of farmers, hunters, and people who wore camo just because they could.
Getting out of her car, she grabbed her messenger bag from the backseat and headed inside. She knew everyone stared at her when she walked in but she’s learned to ignore the burns that they leave on her back.
Just nine more months. She keeps telling himself. She only has to hold on until May and then she can walk away from here and never come back.
She ignored everyone once she got into school and headed towards her locker. She just continued walking until she got there, not stopping or hesitating for anything. Cierra, the girl who had the locker next to her, was already there. She was stuffing binders into her bag and talking with herself as she tried to cram them to the point of her bag nearly ripping from the seams.
She turned to her and smiled. ‘Good Morning, Rosie!’
Rosie just faked a smile at her. ‘Is it a good morning?’
She rolled her eyes. ‘It’s always a good morning. Do you have your common application done yet?’
Rosie shook her head. ‘I’m not applying for college.’
Cierra stood up and hoisted her bag onto her shoulders, heaving at the weight. ‘Why not?’
Rosie shrugged. ‘I just don’t want to go.’
‘Have you told Mrs. Greene that?’ She asked.
Mrs. Greene was the school guidance counselor and she was supposed to be helping all of the seniors prepare their applications for college. Rosie may have lied to her to shut her up by saying she was looking into applying to the University two hours away but she really wasn’t. She just wanted her to stop hounding her about her future.
‘She knows.’
The first bell rang and the students came bustling through the doors from the school buses. That was cue the Rosie needed to start heading for chorus, something she actually enjoyed. She said a quick goodbye to Cierra and headed off.
Lunch came and she sat alone in the corner of the cafeteria, eating a small salad that the school had offered her. She didn’t normally eat anything else the school provided but the salads were okay.
She kept her earbuds in the entire time and pretended that she didn’t hear the lunch monitor calling her name for her to remove one of the earbuds so she could hear her. She eventually gave up when she knew she wasn’t going to answer.
After lunch was activity period so she went to the library today instead of just spending the time walking aimlessly in the hallway. She took a seat at a computer in the corner and turned it on, having it lag and stutter before allowing him to log in. She was just about to put in her login information when the librarian came over to her, a group of young children, probably fifth graders, trailing behind her.
‘That computer is meant to be reserved for these students.’
Rosie sighed. She didn’t just spend ten minutes turning on a computer just to not even be able to use it. ‘There wasn’t a sign on it.’
The librarian tensed. ‘Well, the computer is needed for this class so I’m afraid you’ll have to get up and sit elsewhere. You can always borrow one of the Macbooks if you need to work on something.’
Rosie tensed. She was not going to use the old 2010 Macbooks that ran worse than these computers. She wasn’t going to waste her time. She didn’t even technically need a computer anyway but she was ready to fight for it regardless.
But she didn’t. She stood up, kicked the chair back, and moved.
She walked into the center of the library and took a seat at a round table where other students were also sitting. Almost immediately, the kids sitting in front of her began to stare and she blushed, feeling her face flush from the unwanted attention. She bent down into her bag and dug out her earbuds and tried not to pay any attention to them all.
That would be the last time she would spend the activity period in the library for a while.
When the end of the day came, Rosie was so happy to finally be able to leave. The bell of freedom rung loudly throughout the halls and she left without a backwards glance. She got nearly to her car, pressing the button to unlock it when she noticed a certain baseball cap wearing guy leaning against her car.
It was her cousin Jason.
‘Hey, Rosie. Can you give me a ride to the store?’
Rosie rolled her eyes. ‘No.’
‘Come on. I only need to go to Tops.’
‘That’s in Boonville. I’m not going that far to take you to the store.’
‘I’ll pay you gas money!’ Jason pressed, tugging on the door handle to Rosie’s car.
‘Stop that!’ Rosie quipped towards Jason’s obnoxious actions. ‘What are you going to even pay me in?’
Jason rolled his eyes. ‘I have money. That’s why I need you take me to the store while my truck is in the shop.’
‘Is this going to be an everyday occurance?’ Rosie asked in defeat as she unlocked her car and Jason opened the passenger side.
‘Just until I get my truck back.’
‘I’m not running you to Boonville everyday.’ Rosie said, turning her car on and pulling out of the parking spot.
‘You only need to do that today so I can pick up some more cigarettes.’
Rosie rolled his eyes.
Jason mimicked Rosie and Rosie found herself laughing. She and Jason were complete opposites and most of the time, they didn’t get along. But when they did, Jason was actually a cool person to be around…once you got past the constant smell of farm and tobacco that lingered on him.
But in the end, Rosie’s known Jason since they were children and although their paths separated for a while, she’ll never forget being able to spend the days at the river at their grandmothers house. Only now Jason lives in the next town over while Rosie still spends her days at the river.
‘People were talking about you at BOCES again.’ Jason said, spitting black into an empty coke bottle.
Rosie rolled his eyes. ‘What was were they saying?’
Jason shrugged it off. ‘People just brought you up a few times.’
Rosie felt her knuckles go white against the steering wheel. She hated this so much. She hated when people turned her into an object. ‘If you say people were talking about me, I expect you to answer with more than just a oh nevermind.’
‘Well, it’s just awkward to discuss this with you.’ Jason retorted.
Rosie sighed. They were almost to the plaza where Tops was. All she had to do was turn in next to this Burger King and then she would drop of Jason, go to the chinese food place and grab food for herself, and forget that the entire conversation was even mentioned.
She took a spot in between Tops and the chinese place and let Jason get out first. She walked to the back of her car to pull out her wallet from her bag when Jason spoke up to her. ‘You coming in to Tops?’
‘I was gonna go grab some chinese food actually.’ Rosie said.
‘Come into Tops with me first and we can get chinese food after.’
‘Why?’
‘Because come on!’
Rosie sighed and locked her car with a beep as she headed behind Jason into Tops, not even sure why she was going in here to begin with when she didn’t need to. They walked through the automatic doors and the strong fluorescent lights hurt Rosie’s eyes.
They made their way over to the tobacco counter and Rosie waited as Jason bought whatever he needed to. She still didn’t understand why he came in. She kept her eyes focused on the ground in front of her, not really even staring at anything in particular. Then a pair of white vans traveled in front of her and she felt her head move up to follow the feet.
A tall, dark hair male was walking in front of her, a box of ketchup in his arms as he headed towards the condiment aisle. Rosie couldn’t help but stare at him. His fair skin and raven hair made for a striking appearance.
‘Rosie…?’
Jason snapped her out of her trance and she turned her head with an embarrassed flush in her cheeks. ‘Hm?’
‘Why were you just staring at Phil like that?’
‘Who?’
‘Phil.’ Jason said pointing towards the tall male that Rosie had just been staring at. ‘He goes to BOCES. He’s not in my program but I see him enough to know his name.’
‘He goes to BOCES?’ Rosie asked. He didn’t seem like the type to go to BOCES.
‘Yeah, he does the graphic design program.’ Rosie just hummed at that and let her attention swing back to Phil in front of her in the aisle. ‘Whenever you’re done staring, I would like to go and get food.’
Rosie dropped her gaze from Phil and turned to Jason with a blush. ‘I’m ready to go.’
‘I can get you Phil’s number tomorrow.’ Jason offered as they walked out the automatic doors.
Rosie shook his head and chuckled. ‘I’m good.’
‘You were just ogling him.’ Jason retorted as he hung a sharp left and Rosie followed him on the walkway to the chinese restaurant. ‘It’s really not a bother. I’ll just name drop you to Phil and see if he’s interested.’
Rosie sighed. ‘I’m sure he’s heard my name enough to already have an opinion about me anyway. Seems like everyone always has it rolling off from their tongue.’
As Rosie pushed open the door to the chinese place, the windchime on the door rang out and she was greeted by a smiling young girl behind the counter. She walked up to her and placed her order quickly and then moved out of the way so Jason could order. Once they were done and told the girl they were getting it to go, they sat down at a table in the dining room to wait.
‘Phil probably does know who you are.’ Jason said, grabbing a toothpick from the dispenser on the end of the table and biting it. ‘He’s been around people when they talk about you so I’m sure he knows you. But Phil is different. I don’t think he’d form an opinion about you.’
Rosie shrugged. ‘Everyone always has an opinion.’
‘You don’t know that.’ Jason said. ‘I’ve been your cousin since birth and I still have no opinions formed about you.’
Rosie rolled her eyes and scoffed as Jason laughed.